what erases guilt? really bad guilt?

Question

and don't say a therapist because i cant afford one

Answer 1

You have to find forgiveness within yourself.

If you are religious, ask God for it.

If not, whatever you did that is bad, you should do the positive opposite action to even it out in the energy of the world.

But you must learn to forgive yourself. After all, your only human. We do make mistakes.

Answer 2

If it's really, really bad, which it sounds like it might be, coming clean to the person or people you hurt is the only thing that will ever make it get better. That might not be what you want to hear, but I'm old enough to know that's the only right answer. Nothing else will ever, ever come close.

People are usually more forgiving than you give them credit for, especially if what you did was not intentional. No matter what it is, as long as you are honest and truly, truly sorry, no matter what, sooner or later you'll be forgiven for it. It's been my experience that it's almost always much, much sooner. If not, it's probably that person, not you.

If you're like me, whatever you did probably isn't anywhere near as big a deal to whoever you hurt as it is to you. If this is a situation where the person you hurt is no longer here to make it up to, just do the best you can and come clean to that person's family or loved ones. Do what you can do and don't worry about what you can't.

"God, grant me the courage to change the things that I can change, the serenity to accept that which I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference."
---The Serenity Prayer

Time heals all wounds. And just the fact that you feel so much pain because of this guilt tells me that you are a very good person, even if you don't know that.

You'll be in my prayers and I hope you feel better soon.

Peace and love.

Answer 3

If you have a free floating guilt complex, the best thing is to do something to deserve it. I don't think what you did is so bad that you should feel a lot of guilt over it. Loving someone is never wrong. It's not like you lied and betrayed a confidence... Well, maybe you did a little, I don't know the facts.

I think your feeling of heartache is getting confused for guilt. I know people who were in similar situations, but it never blew up into such a big deal.

BTW, a therapist won't take away your guilt, but one could help you understand what it is you are feeling and why. There are often agencies that offer free counselling for things like this. Look for something in the yellow pages, like ask-a-nurse, or if you are in college, go to the university health service.

Or you could run away from your guilt by joining a circus troupe or try to make up for it by becoming a superhero.

Answer 4

Guilt is a self inflected emotion. No one can make you "feel' guilty. Because guilt is an emotion that we control, no one else.
So what is it that you did that you are so guilty for? Why are you beating yourself up for it? You probably already knew it was wrong before you did whatever you did. So now stop letting it control your life. Use this as a life lesson to move on. Let go of it, and pray that the next time you even consider doing something "wrong" or "bad" you with remember this feeling. So you won't do it again.
Good Luck...

Answer 5

Good behavior.

You can't change the past, but you can make the future what you want it to be. As you do right, your feelings will improve.

On the other hand, if you didn't do anything wrong, your guilt is not constructive and you have to let it go. If someone else is making you feel guilty over nothing, let that person go out of your life.

Answer 6

there may be a 12-step group for you.
Since my dad was an Alcoholic, I spent many years feeling guilty and hating myself and being ashamed. Most of all, it was a terrible effort to keep the secret that he was an Alcoholic, and I was emotionally exhausted from it. Finally, when I was in great pain about this, I called and found an "Al-Anon" group for relatives of alcoholics. Once I started going to the weekly meetings (the hardest part was the 1st one, when I said out loud why I was there), I realized I would have to re-experience all the memories and emotions I had denied at the time, and start to feel and react in a normal way to life, instead of the anxious and self-hating way I had defensively learned to react. It took time and practice, but I am healing.

Answer 7

Asking for forgiveness works very well. If your situation dictates that you can't do that, sometimes just writing about the source of your guilt works to help you process it. There's something about writing it down on paper that seems to help get it out of your mind. On that same note, learning to forgive OURSELVES is also very important.

I would also gently remind you that none of us is perfect. We ALL mess up from time to time! Sometimes, we mess up really bad. But, you know, time is a healer. Learn from what you did. My grandmother used to say that 'bought sense is better than told'. In other words, alot of the time, advice doesn't keep us from messing up, but when you make the mistake yourself, you learn from that mistake.

Another suggestion - try checking out a book from the library on the subject. There are some great books out there on this subject. I wish you well as you work through this.

Answer 8

depends on what the guilt is. But mostly, TIME is your best friend. That and honesty to the person or people you feel the guilt to. Come clean and you might feel better and those people or person just might suprise you by being there for you and forgive you.

Answer 9

Look at what has been done and create an act of atonement like if you took something that isn't yours give something of the same or equal value that is.

See yourself not behaving in the fashion that created the guily.
In your mind create a new you and see yourself acting properly and giving something to others.

Lots of other ways, hard to say when you don't know what created the guilt.

Answer 10

if you lied or did something wrong to someone, something, or a group of people you need to tell the truth and yes the truth does hurt but you will feel a hundred times better and it will take some time to get over but things always take time. you obviously are not a bad person because you are trying to find a way to fix the issue and i give you a lot of credit. good luck and i hope you feel better

Answer 11

I would say for you to have some quiet time to think it over. And pray if you are spiritual. Ask for forgiveness. And work in Harmony with your petition... And realize we all make mistakes... Forgive your self... And vow not to do what ever it was again... Wipe the slate clean... It will be OK.... The fact that you are remorseful shows you have regrets over what ever it is... that is the key.. Now start to forgive your self and start new...