. Sometimes it is best to stay in the marriage for the kids--especially if they are very young. It is vital to the children's lives to stay together when they are young, to have a father in the house, to have a provider, to have a stable household with a mom and dad who have a partnership in bringing up the kids in a healthy environment. It is a difficult thing to weigh out, but as long as there is no abuse and there is an amicable house, it is much better to stay together for the benefit of the children. Women become poverty stricken and divorce forces their children into poverty, an unstable and sometimes even dangerous home, and separates children from their father, usually, causing ireparable damage to the father and child relationship.
I thought I 'fell out of love' with my husband a while back, I cheated and was bad and I regret it every day of my life. I could have left and screwed EVERYTHING up and made everyone's lives miserable but I didn't and now I'm happy again!
2006-08-28 12:12:10 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
postal marg:
well, yes. since I am instilling in my children commitment when things go bad. that is the true essence of marriage which has been lost, you see.
outwardly, my husband and I are loving and amicable, inwardly, we are too, but voice our problems and hurt and frustration in private, and always work it out!! I have been dishonest in the past, but by working it out and looking at my husband as my partner in life and knowing that we are on the same team who are looking to beat the odds together--
My marriage and my kids happy family home is worth fighting for.
2006-08-28 12:42:22 · update #1
Congratulations. It is important that people understand their responsibilities. The good times and attitude come and go over the years. Its what marriage is about.The women who are more concerned about their own happiness over the needs of their children should NOT have children. When you bring them around you give up the right to consider your needs first. It is probably the single biggest mistake people make. Children are almost always better off with two parents ( excepting physical danger).
You have learned one of life's lessons and caught it before it was too late. The large group of people here are mouthing the old platitudes regarding, once a cheater and you should be happy.
It is poppycock. Good for you keep it up.
2006-08-28 12:36:23 · answer #1 · answered by Flagger 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think its completely wrong to stay in a marriage for the kids. They can tell when there parents aren't getting along & the house is constantly filled with tension. Esp if someone is cheating, the kids are better off if the parents split. I think it's best that the parents be civil and amicable in raising & supporting the children, but why should two people live a life they hate for 18 years just bc of kids? If two people aren't getting along, there is a reason. I'm not saying just jump right into leaving, but if you've tried & it just can't work then be honest & end it.
2006-08-28 19:38:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Because they think that there's no use in punishing yourself every day by staying with the person u don't care about any more. But GOOD FOR YOU, because u stayed and tried to do what's best for the kids. The kids are innocent. They don't deserve to get hurt. You did the right thing.
Being married and having kids is a career itself. You have to work on it every day. Being married is self-denial and a lot of sacrifice for it to succeed. HATS OFF TO U!
2006-08-28 21:16:35 · answer #3 · answered by Holly D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you got lucky but for most its not this way and if you have cheating in the home the children grow up w/ this and no its not right, becareful cause yes some do fall back in love but usually if they fall out then theres a reason and will do again when things arent goin right or so on cheating is never an answer for any reason and some regret every day of their lives but for you to say stop loving him and thats why is not a good reasurence of any that you wont do again and the children are smarter than ya think even young, becareful cause usen a man for the money and home isnt a good thing, glad its workin now hope you dont have the feelin again or him to get even
2006-08-28 19:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by BRIAN J R 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
If it was so important then why did you cheat, after all you were staying together fo rthe kids, now you changed your mind and want him. You regret it yet you did do it. Good that you worked it out, but you still cheated, and you should never put kids in a relationship that has false feelings, then they think you should stay w/ someone who is dishonest, lieing, cheating, sleeping around, make you unhappy, just bc they saw their parents do it. So if they are being abused by their spouse it's ok they should stay with them, after all it's for the kids. And a cheating spouse that doesn't regret well, my mother did it so I should look past my spouses cheating as well, even if it tears me apart. After all we have kids together. Bullshit, you were out to get some and you did, now you say you regret bc the spouse knows about it, but were you concerned when you were getting banged? No.
2006-08-28 20:32:51 · answer #5 · answered by dontfreakintalktome 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I don't agree that it is best to stay in a relationship that you are not happy in. And especially for the kids, all they are going to see and hear is you two fighting and not getting along! don't see how that's better for them. You can bring up healthy, well rounded stable kids and be divorced at the same time.
Although I do not agree with your outlook I am very glad that it worked out for you in the long run!!!
Did you ever tell your husband you cheated? Don't see how happy you can be with a lie in your relationship.
2006-08-28 19:28:08 · answer #6 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
That's great that you guys worked it out but staying married for kids is the worst thing you can do , it ends up being hard on the kids and you both would be miserable and the kids of course would be miserable, not saying divorce isn't hard on the kids but the kids should not be why you stay in a relationship that you are not happy with
2006-08-28 19:20:02 · answer #7 · answered by cslynn1980 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Good for you. Many people think it's okay to end marriages for selfish reasons. "Falling out of love" has got to be on the top of that list because most times it's really people "falling out of infatuation." It makes me so mad when people throw something as important as marriage and family away, for something so frivolous like that!
2006-08-28 19:17:57 · answer #8 · answered by daisyk 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Because too many people get married too young, think it is no different than "going steady," and make a mess of their life. Sad, but true. As long as marriage is glamorized into something it is not, this will continue.
2006-08-28 19:47:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
No one should stay married because of the kids. If you do stay, then the husband, wife and kids are unhappy. You are doing no one any favors by staying married to someone you no longer love. Just because you live apart doesn't mean you can't be a good parent and have a loving relationship. Life is way to short to be unhappy!
2006-08-28 19:46:31 · answer #10 · answered by cee cee 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋