Since they say I'm a bad mom for letting baby fall out of bed.?

Question

I chose to breastfeed. I co-sleep with baby after Daddy goes to work. I put the biggest pillow on other side of baby. to prevent her from falling off but she still rolled off. I feel terrible. People say i should get CPS called on me.
I don't think Im a bad mom. I think falling happens to everyone. I bet your mom dropped you before! But...I chose to breastfeed and anyone else who has or does knows its hard to stay awake in the middle of the night to feed, Ive never dropped her from standing position or any other time! She's yet to have colicy formula. And i read to her every single day! I'm a full time mom, and we take the bus everyday to pay bills, and dr. appts. Last year, I was a pregnant senior in high school, and still got my diploma! Okay. I'm trying my best here. Do i need to get my child tooken away from me!?

Answer 1

Geeezzz.....at least your not like Michael Jackson hanging your baby out the window...or like idiot Brittany Spears driving with hers in her lap.

Just keep doing your best, and learn from the mistake.

Answer 2

I have a 5 month old daughter that I breastfeed and co-sleep with as well. I am an advocate of co-sleeping for many reasons that I won't get into, however, you need to do it safely. When you co-sleep you shouldn't have any pillows or "fluffy" blankets on the bed. The baby should sleep on one side of you, not between the parents, as daddy is not as "in-tune" to baby as you are. If you push the bed up against the wall you need to be careful that there is NO room between the bed and wall. You can get railings (which is what we did), but again, be sure there is NO way baby could roll between them. One of the easiest things to do is get rid of the bed for awhile and just put the mattress on the floor. I applaud you for breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Obviously, you want the best for your baby,,,,just take the necessary steps to be a little more safe, especially if this has happened more than once..

Answer 3

My baby's fallen off the bed before. Well, not my 3 month old, but the 2 year old did when she was younger after she started rolling and when she was in our bed by herself. It happens. You're all still doing fine (you would have said something if that weren't true), baby is over it, and you're taking safety measures to ensure there probably won't be a repeat of that incident. It's really not a big deal, and people who want to call CPS on you probably aren't eduacated about the incredible benefits of cosleeping/breastfeeding. Cosleeping is a valid and healthy parental choice, and a lot of people don't seem to see that, for some reason.

Sounds like you're doing a great job. Co-sleeping and breastfeeding are wonderful choices and will help her to grow up strong, healthy, and well-adjusted. Pat yourself on the back for doing the right thing, and ignore the naysayers. They're just a bunch of poopypants tattle tales. Shame on them for making you feel guilty about a wonderful parenting decision you have made!

Answer 4

1) You are NOT a bad mother. I dont know anyone who has a baby who HASNT rolled off a bed. Is she ok? She didnt lose conciousness or anything? Did she bleed profusley and need to go to the ER? If these answers are no, then she is fine! Think of it this way....this was one incident that you maybe made a mistake by not catching her BUT think of the millions of things you have done for your daughter that make you a GOOD mother.

2) To the woman who said sleeping while feeding is illegal, you can not say that when you have been up for a night feeding that you never dozed off! Every mother has at some point, whether you catch yourself or not. Its impossible not to.

3) To the woman who said sleeping with your child is a reason for having her child taken away from her...my daughter sleeps with me everynight. She is 3 months old. Should I have my child taken from me too? No way! When my daughter goes to sleep, she sees my face next to her and feels safe. When she wakes up in the morning, she sees my face and knows I am there if she needs me.

I commend you for finishing school and getting your diploma. Most teenage mothers give up but you didnt and that is something you should be very proud of! Have confidence in your mothering abilities, tell people that your child is healthy and happy and taken care of and that is all that matters!

Answer 5

Hell no! You should, if you didnt want them or didnt feel sorry for the baby. Sounds like your doing a pretty good job. The best thing to do is read about baby relations from online websites, library books, etc. It gives you more things to try or better ways to lessen the stress from a baby. Find ways to improve your baby's interaction, hygiene, safety, and what to expect in months to come. Good job on still getting your diploma, and don't stop learning as it will always help you better your life. Others may criticize or talk your head off about parenting because the just worry about you becoming a woman with a child already. Don't sweat it and stay motivated in bring your baby into the world and also managing your success also. Its hard, but not impossible. Learn, live and grow.... good luck and God bless!

Answer 6

No, you do not need to have your child taken from you. I think you're trying your best. I dropped my baby girl after nursing her when she was about 3 wks old. I had laid her on my chest and we both fell asleep...in my sleepy confusion I forgot she was there and tried to roll onto my side (toward the outside edge of the bed, of course.). She fell off my chest onto the floor but other than being scared, she was fine. So I do know how you feel. You're not a bad mom at all. At the same time, I do think that three times is a bit much, meaning I just think that you should consider some other options for feeding her if you truly are not able to be fully awake (or aware at least) while having her in the potentially unsafe position of being in bed with you. I sit upright in bed and use a Boppy pillow during the night feeding (I take no chances after dropping her!) and I can doze that way b/c she's safely tucked under my arm (I use the football hold) on my right side, toward the center of the bed. After feeding her, I put her safely back in her bassinet next to the bed, and if she's awake, I just pat her and caress her head while lying down (I just hang my arm over the edge of the bassinet; don't have to look at her) till she drifts off to sleep again. Sometimes I do take her into bed with me however, and I just sleep with my arm firmly cradling her on whichever side feels comfy. If the bed thing doesn't seem to be working for you right now, you might consider sitting on the couch or in a comfy chair to feed her. Anyway just be more careful--you're NOT a bad mom--sleep deprivation makes all of us moms pretty mindless creatures for awhile, myself included. Best wishes!

Answer 7

that's ok, breathe. you would not be the first mom to make an oopsie and also you isn't the finest! effective, think about strapped him in...yet you probably did not. can't go back in time and also you'll't replace it. he's high-quality, properly? Mommies make blunders too. None people are appropriate. We basically study from our blunders and keep truckin. little ones are equipped plenty harder than they seem and he received't undergo in innovations a darn element at the same time as he receives older. he will have many more effective bumps and bruises alongside the way so get use to it hun! do not beat your self up...it takes position. You obiously love your baby or you would not be so dissatisfied about it and get in touch with his clinical professional. Cheer up and earnings from the sturdy cases including your infant somewhat than tear your self up over the undesirable cases.

Answer 8

I don't think you're a bad mom at all, and I don't think you should have your baby taken away from you. And you're right...anyone who says their baby has NEVER rolled off the bed or sofa, been nearly dropped or anything similar is more than likely lying. What I think, however, is that what you're doing is kind of irresponsible. After she rolled out of bed the second time, you should have asked for help then--not waiting for it to happen a third time. :(

As for the breastfeeding, I applaud you for that! I, unfortunately, wasn't able to, but I'm a champ when it comes to night-time bottles (my husband works nights, so I had to get up for middle-of-the-night bottles with both of my boys when they were infants. I don't know how long it takes to breastfeed until your child is full, but with my little guys, it took them about 30 minutes in the middle of the night to finish a bottle. Mainly because they'd fall asleep while drinking. I'll also be the first to admit that I've fallen asleep for more than one bottle while rocking my boys and feeding them. It's hard--anybody who has children knows that. Fortunately, I must have had a death grip on them or something, because they never fell out of my arms at night. (They fell plenty of other times though.

If you're worried about being sleep-deprived, try napping during the day when your baby naps. I've yet to meet any moms or dads who WEREN'T sleep deprived for a while--whether they breastfed, formula fed, or pumped their milk so their husbands could get up in the middle of the night.

I'm sorry--I can't remember how old you said your baby is. 6 months? At that point, I doubt she's crawling yet, but she's probably rolling all over the place, right? Even changing directions sometimes? You could buy one of those bed rails that they sell at Babies R Us (they slide between the mattress and box spring, and are similar to the side of a hospital bed). This would stop your baby from rolling sideways, but what if she wakes up and decides to change positions and roll to the foot of the bed? My advice is to try to transition her to a crib. If money is an object, you can get nice, safe cribs at Wal Mart or K Mart for a reasonable price

I'm sort of biased when it comes to co-sleeping. I've always been terrified that my kids would sufficate if I accidentally rolled over on them, so I never did. Babies are SO tiny, and when they're this little, if you did roll over on her, her movements might not be strong enough to let you know she's trapped. I know when we become moms we instantly lose the ability to go into a deep sleep. :) However, there might be just *one* night when you are truly, deeply asleep, and that one night is all it would take. It sounds like maybe your husband/boyfriend works nights? Or at least leaves, and that's when you co-sleep with your baby? What if this happens when he's not around? That would be very, very sad.

This is all just my personal opinion, so please take it with a grain of salt. Whatever you decide to do, good luck with your little girl, and no more bumps on the noggin! :)

Answer 9

Calm down accidents happen. I don't recommend co-sleeping but it shouldn't damn you. It is very hard to stay awake over night I have a six week old who is breast fed. If you are looking for an idea try a bassinet or a bed rail for your bed. Everyone's idea of the perfect parenting situation is not the same. I think parenting is a learning experience and you are trying the best you can. Keep it up and don't let others tell you how to raise your child.

Answer 10

No- BUT you do need to do some serious thinking! I breastfeed my preemie, so I know how you feel. You really need to get a co-sleeper or a bassinet. Could you pump some milk and store it so the dad can help out? He could give a bottle the times you are exhausted.
It's just so dangerous that even though it happens, there could be the time when it's serious, and you'll be haunted the rest of your life, plus your baby risks brain damage. Plus - after it had happened once, you should have learned your lesson and prevent it from happening again!

Answer 11

Anyone who tries to tell you that your baby should be taken away from you obviously has no idea about the reality of parenting.

So you had a Britney moment, it happens to everyone. Yes, EVERYONE. Some people are just better at keeping their little hiccups a secret.

Hang in there, sleep depravation is tough and breastfeeding makes it all that much more difficult to cope. If you are really worried it may happen again, it is time to put baby to sleep in a cot or bassinet.

Good luck. It does get easier!