i have been her friend for over five years now she is 43 and i am 28 ... In the last few months she is acting dry towards me ... she asked for money and i was there for her and she got excited that i helped .. .. she never answers my phone calls , and never returns my emails . she says nothing is wrong but it is not like her .. she used to jump at the chance to hang out with me.. now she just doesnt even want to talk to me any more and giving me the cold shoulder ... what can i do to change that and let her go to the way she was before.. ???? please be serious...
2006-08-28 12:00:53 · 16 answers · asked by jack jack 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
just to let you know... she helped me with my money problems once.. so we owed each other ...
2006-08-28 12:06:35 · update #1
She maybe going through some form of depression or change. If she is she may have a hard time talking about it, and other times they don't even know what is wrong themselves. All you can do is tell her (if you haven't already) that you don't understand why she isn't talking to you. Let her know that if she has any sort of problems or troubles you're there for her. Maybe invite her over for dinner or bring dinner to her. You can't force her to do something, but you can let her know that you at least want to know what's up? Whatever the reason if she is truly a friend she'll at least let you know why she is acting the way she is. Friendship is a 2 way street. It is a give and take. As much as you have given...emotionally or financially, she also has to give back. Good luck!
2006-08-28 12:26:05 · answer #1 · answered by Lei-Loo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys have been friends for 5 years and that should mean a lot to your friend too. I think the best way to approach your friend is perhaps confronting her. Tell her what you have been feeling lately and let her know that you two must communicate for your friendship to work out. Let your friend know that if something is going on with her that you will be there 24/7 to help her out and if she is in some kind of money trouble, let her know that you'll be there to support and to help her out in any way that you can. I mean, that's what I would do anyways.
2006-08-28 12:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by Bobcat9 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jack....listen up. Back off the friendship for the moment. Something is going on in your friends life that she's not ready to share with you. Consider the money a lesson. Don't keep calling her, just let her have some time and space. She'll call you when she is ready. In the meantime, make some new friends. You can't "change" anyone. Godloveya, honey.
2006-08-28 12:03:44 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She may just be going through some things in life that are taking up the majority of her time. I suggest giving her space and let her come to you when she is ready. In the meantime don't loan her any money, and if you find that to be too difficult, then make sure she explains what she needs it for first.
2006-08-28 12:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by Nixxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is definitely embarrassed about the money or some other personal issue. What you need to do is let her know how much you love her and how you will be there for her no matter what. It is difficult to swallow your pride sometimes, but it may take you stepping outside of your comfort zone in order to rescue what sounds like a great Friend and companion.
Good Luck
2006-08-28 12:05:15 · answer #5 · answered by O Jam 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Has she paid the loan back? If not, I think she is either embarrassed because she can't, or else, she doesn't intend to, and considers the money is more important than you are, and just wants you to get lost. You might tell her that if she is embarrassed about the outstanding loan, longer terms aren't a problem. If this doesn't work, she just wants to get out of the relationship, and that's that.
2006-08-28 12:12:54 · answer #6 · answered by choo-Choos Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems strange that there would be such a drastic change in her behaiour. You need to find out what has caused the change. you should confront her sit her down and have a talk. Face to face not on the phone. maybe she is going through something difficult or some changes maybe relationship wise. i dont want to think its just her true colours comming out. If she wont give you answers dont be above snooping. whats important is you need these answers.
2006-08-28 12:09:01 · answer #7 · answered by candylishus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are only two things that probably happened here before the cold treatment:
a. she found a new best friend who is in her age group and is giving you the chance to find yourself a new friend by trying to ignore you.
b. something happened between the two of you that you thought it was nothing or was just one of those things, but for her, it could be a big deal to her.
try to find out from the two which is most probable then you can start the solution from that.
2006-08-28 12:07:23 · answer #8 · answered by Busy Diyosa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she doesn't have the money to pay you back and is very embarrassed by it. Just give her some time. If she happens to bring up the $$$ and you don't need it right know, tell her so. She is just embarrassed!
2006-08-28 12:13:26 · answer #9 · answered by Blond Logic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd try to arrange a get-together with her, like coffee or breakfast, and ask her whats up, and if you think she is having relationship issues ask her if she is alright. Basically just show her the same kindness that you would have throughout your friendship.
2006-08-28 12:06:49 · answer #10 · answered by Matt O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋