He is a 21 year old CS major with good grades and living at home. He and I are working together in a very good internship away from his home. Constantly he belittles himself and "works to improve himself", which means studying when he gets home, often well into the night. Keep in mind he is not taking classes. I never knew why he had such a low self-esteem and felt compelled to work so hard until I overheard a phone conversation he had with his father. I think his father is overbearing and pressuring him to work too hard.
I have tried and been successful at getting him to have fun and not work all the time. I think he would be much better off learning on the job or at school and having relaxation time after work. He is only 21. However, I can tell our conflicting pressure is wearing on him. Further, his conversations and relationship with his father are not my business, making it hard for me to confront him about it. Should I let his father have his way or try something else?
2006-08-28 11:56:25 · 8 answers · asked by compstond 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You can't. If your conflicting pressure is wearing on him, you are making it worse. Let him work out his own issues with his father, in his time.
2006-08-28 11:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by julz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is missing from this story, think about it. The guy will fly on his own when he is ready, and he's not ready nor perhaps will he ever be ready. Leave him alone. He has enough to deal with already with dear old Dad and there is alot you don't know about his life. You're right. it's not your business either. So, back up and do the guy a favor. Listen. Do not give him any advice...and find yourself some new friends. Godloveya!
2006-08-28 12:00:05 · answer #2 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think i saw this in a movie, the guy was a hardworking straight a student, foreign of course, and his american buddies tried to get him to lighten up and have fun, so he became a pathetic potsmoking drunk. I think you should stay out of his business, dear old dad will probably kick the bucket before your friend does, then he will appreciate both his hard work and his fathers pushing him to excell..
2006-08-28 12:05:54 · answer #3 · answered by tomhale138 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's his father. You are not a member of their family. You don't know the family history and it's his business.
2006-08-28 11:58:41 · answer #4 · answered by Angie T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your father does is righfully referred to as kin Violence, that's a criminal offence. that's likewise toddler Abuse. His behaviour received't replace, the intensity ought to, and oftentimes it receives worse. Perpetrators such of this have a warped experience of kin relationships, and are engaged in a consistent conflict to assert their skill and administration over what they see as their sources. i.e. you and your mom. i changed into 18 when I left a similar difficulty to the only which you're in immediately. The urgent and critical difficulty is your welfare and safe practices. I advise you get in contact with some professional agency experienced in womens' themes, be that by authorities social facilities, police, community communities or a mixture of all. The more beneficial human beings in positions of authority with the means to intervene on your behalf and help you in attaining independence from the poisonous consequences of your modern difficulty the more beneficial valuable. when you're wondering, you'd be believed!! each and each of the ideal on your destiny.
2016-11-28 03:09:52 · answer #5 · answered by lorain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should, in no way, get involved with that family's affairs!
If something criminal is going on then the police should be involved.
Other wise, it is not any of your business.
2006-08-28 12:06:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get him into counseling.
2006-08-28 11:58:42 · answer #7 · answered by kearneyconsulting 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do, it's his problem to deal with.
2006-08-28 11:58:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋