I have been married for almost 10 years, but over the past 5 we have grown apart and every time i want to leave, i feel guilty and stay.. I have no feelings for him and he says he loves me as much as the day we married.. only thing is, is he hasnt really grown up, i moved away but stayed married to him, he makes no effort to call myself or the children, what should i do stay for his sake or leave for mine?
2006-08-28 11:20:28 · 29 answers · asked by COLEEN J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think that anyone can tell you to leave or to stay because that should be your decision. Only you know what you've been through. It looks like you know what you want to do but don't know how to do it. My advice is that you follow your heart even if it hurts to do so. When given the situation you are in there is bound to be some hurt whatever you decide. For example, staying will cause you your happiness. Unhappiness can lead to misery or becoming bitter. However leaving will hurt your husband and you'll have some explaining to do to your children. You have to decide what is for the best for the you and the children in the long run because it looks like it is just you and your children.
2006-08-28 11:39:24 · answer #1 · answered by jessica b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time for you to leave you may hurt him. But who is really hurting in the long run you are. you don't have the feelings left for him. i am sure in some way you love him but you don't love him the way you used too. I am sure that this is also taking a toll on you children as well. It's time to make your life better and the life of your children's. And if he is making no effort to call you or the kids then he has already excepted the fact that you too shouldn't be together. It also sounds like you may be doing all the parenting once you have gone through all the divorce papers and what not.
Good luck I hope everything goes well for you!
2006-08-28 11:35:58 · answer #2 · answered by tygereyez03 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
move on if he loved u like he says then he would have tried alot harder than he has u can b friends 4 ur kids sake but why stay married if u dont even live 2gether and hes making no effort 2 stay in contact with u even worse he isnt supporting his kids emotionally when they must b having a hard time with this turn of events
2006-08-28 11:34:08 · answer #3 · answered by sarah71397 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not guilt it's fear of being on your own w/out the partner whom you need for support and amongst other things. Get to the root of your problems if the 2 of you can't do it together have a mediator to help w/ the 2 of you. If you left and the 2 of you didn't agree on it then of course these are the results. Sometimes we do things in our Marriages, Relationships trying to get the others attention and we also do tit for tat. Grow up 2 the both of you and act like Adults and pray 4 your Marriage.
2006-08-28 12:06:17 · answer #4 · answered by usarmythou 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really know what is best for you and your children.Life is to short to live everyday miserable.Plus all the added stress of not being happy.Life is to short call it quits and be happy.If you know its not going to get any better and at this point don't sound like it.
After its all said and done your children and you will live a happier life than what your in now.
Now or latter its going to happen move on and be happy!!
2006-08-28 11:36:13 · answer #5 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you really don't have any feelings I would leave, some never grow up. By him not calling to even ask about the kids makes me think that his only main interest is his self. Time to go.
2006-08-28 11:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by phooh 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to talk to a minister or get counciling. It sounds to me like the two of you just aren't on the same wave length. (communication) But if you really don't care for him after counciling, it's time to move on. Be prepared for a bumpy road raising kids on your own, it is hard work, but can be done.
2006-08-28 12:39:05 · answer #7 · answered by roncarolhillsstupid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The longer you hang on the harder it is going to be on the kids make the decision quick. It also sounds like you already know the answer you just need confirmation of what you are thinking
2006-08-28 12:19:18 · answer #8 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you move away to start with? you should stay. love is a choice, not an emotion. and you made a commitment and now you've added kids to the mix.
"for better or WORSE, in sickness and in health, til death do us part"
be a real woman and stand by your man (especially since he has done nothing to deserve you abandoning him - that's just wrong and you should feel guilty). to seek out your own happiness is extremely selfish of you and the people who are suggesting it. that's what's wrong with out society today, people only thinking of themselves.
we experience guilt in these situations to convict us of our wrong ideas and attitudes.
2006-08-28 11:31:48 · answer #9 · answered by Nobody Special 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has no interest in you or the kids, I would not say not to stay with him if he doesn't care much. If he does then why not call or visit? I think it's time for you to move on.
2006-08-28 11:26:21 · answer #10 · answered by Gavin T 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋