My husband and I are separated and during his scheduled visitation weekend he left the children with his mother to go out drinking with his friends. He lives with his mother so I don't think he would have to care for them or drive them drunk but I want to spend time with the children and I think that if he would rather go out than spend time with them then he should leave them with me. Is their anything legally I can do about this or is it he can leave them were ever he wants when he has them?
2006-08-28 11:06:58 · 19 answers · asked by Letha E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Unfortunately, unless the custody agreement states so, he is free to have someone else care for the kids. I know exactly what you mean, my ex has the kids every 2nd weekend and has done exactly the same thing. I told him that in future I would prefer he'd let me know when he can't care for them and that I would make myself available. (of course, I also keep a diary of all the times that happens just in case we have to go back to court) You should do the same.
2006-08-28 11:10:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he did anything wrong morally or legally. As long as your ex mother-in-law isnt a sex offender and can legally care for children, than I don't think there's anything that you can do.
Since it is his weekend to take the kids, I think that he has the right to do what he wants with them, especially if he has them every weekend because that would mean that he could never go out on weekends if that were the case. Also, you said that you felt that if he's going to go out for the night, then he should leave the kids with you. I understand where you are coming from, but it's not like the kids are being neglected. They probably enjoyed their "vacation" with grandma.
2006-08-28 18:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by Mandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has legal visitation, and there has never been any legal restictions made regarding the grandmother then this would be okay. The only way you could do something is if you felt he was putting the children in danger, if there were some reason that the children , being with their grandmother would put them at any kind of risk for neglect or abuse.
2006-08-28 19:51:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that it is legally OK for your husband to leave the kids with their grandmother while he go out to drink with friends. He' s the one with scheduled visitations so I'm guessing you have custody of the children. If the courts knew that your husband is doing this, he can have his visitation rights stripped from him. I think you should do something about this because your children should not be neglected like this.
2006-08-28 18:22:40 · answer #4 · answered by jessica b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not legally entitled to do anything in this case. His visitation amounts to legal custody for a set period of time. He could use that time to send them to a religous seminary, take them trick or treating, leave them at home reading a book, or whatever he feels like, so long as he is making sure they are cared for. It sounds like you are grasping here - like maybe you harbor a lot of negative feelings and are looking at ways to lash out at him. If that is true, you should consider how your children will feel about it, and how their relationships will form based on the examples you provide.
Try really caring about what is best for them, and make the best of a bad (in your mind at least) situation, by being as supportive of the process as possible. Tit for tat won't get you anywhere but bitter.
2006-08-28 18:12:31 · answer #5 · answered by greeneyedprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless the situation he leaves them in is a dangerous one, he can take them anywhere. Unless the grandmother is senile and doesn't have the mental capacity to take care of kids and watch out for them, or unless she has friends come over who are dangerous and bad influences, the court really can't say anything. Now, if he's leaving them at grandma's and she, say, a crack dealer, then you have a case. But if she willingly takes care of them, they're treated well and they all get along, not much you can do about it. But don't worry, he'll pay for it in the long run when he realizes that by partying with his friends he's failed to develop a relationship with them and they don't want anything to do with him when they're older. What goes around, comes around. ....and the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon...
2006-08-28 18:12:37 · answer #6 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would rather he leave them with their grandmother than with some woman he just met. At least he picks them up, you can't make him do something that he's not ready for. In time he will realize and then he spend time. And it's good that they spend time with their grandmother. Nothing wrong with it or illegal. Nothing you can do about and don't try. Leave it alone.
2006-08-28 18:17:21 · answer #7 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is legal for him to do this. It is his time to be with them. I myself spend all the time I can with my son during visitations but that is me.
2006-08-28 18:16:41 · answer #8 · answered by pjthedj247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he lives there it's legal. My ex did the same thing. It's terrible, but I don't think legally anything can be done.
2006-08-28 18:10:17 · answer #9 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is his visitation and if he wants to waist it by going out with buddys it is his call. What a shame though.
2006-08-28 18:09:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋