Guys only: why a man who claims to be happily married be watching porn??

Question

I need some feedback on why some decent guy who claims to have a happy family life should browse and look at internet porn???? I'm a woman, so I'm clueless. It really bothers me, but maybe I'm making a huge issue of something quite normal.

Answer 1

Porn may be socially acceptable, routine for many men or women, relaxing, exciting, stimulating, etc. but so are most vices and addictions. It does not make it right. People will justify what they do with any reason that fits their desires to continue their behavior. It is a most dangerous and addictive behavior to view porn - read any credible sources on its long-term affects. No, you are not making a huge issue of something that should be considered quite normal. I fear for the future of a people/society that willingly and so openly accepts porn as "OK". Has History taught us nothing???

Answer 2

My impression is that you are making a bigger issue out of it than you need to.

Porn, for most men, is a fantasy land and it's a kind of voyeurism, too. It really is different things for different men, so it would be dangerous to generalise as to why your man, in particular, likes porn (and, indeed, what kind of porn?)

It might be good if you could ask him - in an enquiring way, not an accusing way (and that may be difficult) - what he sees in it. The trouble is, it is difficult for you not to sound challenging in some way because, however you introduce the subject, he will immediately think that you are criticising his preference for pictures on the the screen over his wife ... which may not be a true thing at all. In reality he has you and is, one hopes, satisfied; in fantasy there is all this flesh apparently enjoying doing things he could never imagine doing in real life. At least, I HOPE that's the way it is!

Answer 3

Like most women, you are creating making a mountain out of a mole hill! I am married, I look at porn, I raise my daughter, I go to work, and I vote. I like looking at beautiful naked women! All real men do. If they claim otherwise they are liars, pedophiles or homosexual. True some of us spend the money to buy magazines, DVDs, tapes, whatever to look at it, but at what point does it become your problem? It doesn't, he is not your husband. Now if you have a problem with your husband doing it, you can say something, but he will just do it behind your back because you have a problem with him being him and at that point your irrational ire over the subject will change the relationship and cause discord in both your lives.

As a woman you may be thinking of the awful exploitation of women. Which is true, but are they not using their bodies to exploit my hard earned cash? You may worry because some of them have had hard lives and rotten ordeals which drove them into the industry, again I can't disagree but I can't confirm it either. I don't know if Jenna Jameson was molested growing up or if Kobe Tai was raped in high school, because they aren't telling me and they don't care if I care.

I bought an Oriental Women the other day, does that mean I am no longer qualified to BBQ? Does it mean I don't love my wife? Does it mean I don't make the tuition payments? No It means I like women and thats all it means. Besides I can't afford to by a Dali painting.

Surprisingly, I just read what country girl said about women don't need to be treated like property and objects, but if you get divorce ladies the first thing your wondering is what amount of property and which objects you will get to keep in the divorce!

Answer 4

What's the big deal? I'm a woman, and I too look at porn when the mood is right. If addiction is involved, it would be wise to get help - but occasional browsing for porn is nothing to worry about! If you're offended by it, you can always demand that he does it in private, without sticking it in your face.

Answer 5

Some of the earliest cave drawings found in Central America were porn. Seriously, I don't know why, we like porn. It's stupid. We wouldn't actually do most of the stuff shown. Deep down, we really aren't much different than the boys that stared at naked mannequins. Grand Dad had playboy. Dad had x-rated tapes. He surfs. No real difference. Yes, a few people DO get carried away. But usually, it's just today's equivalent of a stack of playboys.

Answer 6

It's fairly normal. In my opinion people aren't monogamous by nature (marriage is a social construct and a cultural institution which varies all over the world). I don't believe that two people can be everything to each other. He could be out having affairs, but as long as he sticks with the porn, he probably won't (it gives him an outlet). I was monogamous for 8 years once, but the only way I could be was to have porn as an alternative to actual affairs. My spouse understood this and was cool. Maybe you can find some porn that you would like together. Try not to be judgmental, and accept human failings.

Answer 7

It's normal to occasionally look at porn.
Men are visual creatures, and they are stimulated by what is in front of them. It doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you or he wants you to look like that. If he is with you and in a relationship with you, you have no need to feel threatened. If he views it all the time or needs it to get aroused, then you have a problem. Why don't you try watching some with him? If you are squeamish about some of the more hardcore stuff there are many titles geared towards women. Lighten up a little, he is totally normal. Good luck. :)

I know you said men only, but coming from another women, I thought it might help you feel a little better. ;)

Answer 8

I have answered similar questions about this before. Some men have an attitude like its not hurting anyone but it is upsetting to the women involved, Guys dont get it and their is a thing called an internet porn addiction that affets a lot of men, its the lying about it thats the problem, you have to be able to have trust in any relationship.my husband and i went to marriage counciling over this. it isnt right for a man to hide or lie about it.and internet porn and playboy are two different things.

Answer 9

(27)
Look sis, if you wanna have just fun.. and have asked that question just for the sake of having a good time.. that's OK. other idiots' answers must have fulfilled that purpose

If you wanna know the truth about it: That IS normal! Leave him alone. He's not hiding from you anything eh? So try to join him in this pleasure. that'll spice up uyor marriage..

Porn is good. Anybody saying differently is somehow obsessed with some bad thoughts

Answer 10

You have to understand that porn is not just the largest business on the internet for single men, it's better to look at porn then cheat on you. You shouldn't mind, and once and while you should watch your self.