I've been married almost 10 years, we've been together 13. He cheated on me a few years back and had a child with the other girl. He has no contact with her or the child (his choice). I elected to stay and try to work through it. Lately, I can no longer get turned on when I'm with him unless I'm completely inibriated or fantasizing about other men (usually much younger than I am). I feel really bad because it's starting to affect his ego and our relationship. I still love and care about him but I also want my insatiable sex drive back. The only way I can orgasm is if I masturbate thinking about somebody else (nobody in particular, even a person in a movie I've been watching). Is there anyone out there who has experienced this and gotten through it??? I'm trying to salvage what's left of my marriage. HELP!!
2006-08-28 10:37:59 · 9 answers · asked by naughtyflirt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It isn't wrong, but it does mean that you need to work on the relationship. See a counselor soon, please.
2006-08-28 10:41:47 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Ive always heard "once a cheater, always a cheater" and I believe in that saying. I wouldnt stay in a relationship that was based on lies, and always having questions. I can understand your reason for wanting to salvage your marriage, I would to. But if hes still cheating, then I wouldnt stay. But if you wanna stay.....then I dont see anything wrong in just "thinking" of another man. MEN think/fantasize about other women. Why cant we do the same?!! At least were NOT actually w/that person doing it, ya know?
2006-08-28 17:47:36 · answer #2 · answered by Tweetalette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like its just a matter of forgiving him, you probably think you already have but it's a lot easier to let your self go with an imaginary man that hasnt cheated on you. Subconsciously you might be thinking why should i give my self to him, so you cant release. A professional therapist can help if your really serious about restoring your relationship. Sounds more like an issue of trust not sex. good luck.
2006-08-28 17:50:26 · answer #3 · answered by puertoricout 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a problem there.Because if you love him for real there should not be any thoughts of anyone else that is still cheating by having another on your mind and in your heart.Would you want him thinking that way when he's with you?Think about it.Fix what's causing you not be attracted to him anymore.And things will get better.
2006-08-28 17:44:10 · answer #4 · answered by endigogirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound weird, but I think you need to punish him for hurting you. Why not work the punishment into some kind of kinky sex routine. Get a strap on and make him take it from behind until he begs forgiveness.
2006-08-28 17:55:47 · answer #5 · answered by nuclear_science 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly normal to fantasize about other people while having sex. If it bothers you both that much, try experimenting with other ways to get turned on, play around, watch porn, ect and see if that helps.
2006-08-28 17:40:46 · answer #6 · answered by Gayle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your worried about his ego ???? He cheated on you for god sake. You cant get it up for him probably because he's a lying cheating jerk. When people f*ck you over you will lose your sex drive for them. I think your chapter is closed and you should move on to someone who wont cheat on you and will treat you right. Then you will see your sex drive come back.
2006-08-28 17:42:12 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think it is wrong, but the realization of it is that we all do at one time or another......it is natural.....for most
2006-08-28 17:41:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong with it. Sometimes you have to do what you gotta do.
2006-08-28 18:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by Good2Go 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋