How do u keep from thinkin your man is cheatin?

Question

I've been married twice (dont judge me) and I believe i will marry the man I am with but I have real trust issues, my 2 ex husbands both cheated and I keep watchin and waittin 4 my fiance 2 cheat why do I feel this way. N my mind I believe somehow all men cheat? I know this isn't right 2 think that way but can't help it. Does anyone else feel this way?

Answer 1

Stop looking for it. Trust is a decision you make for the most part. If he hasn't given you any reason not to trust him, stop driving yourself crazy. My husband, you'd just have to know to understand, but I know for a fact he would never even think about cheating on me. That's how he is, very very loyal. But how do I know? Because he's where he says he'll be there, he comes home around the time he says (my husband is the type who was born late; he always underestimates how long it takes and is forever 5-15 minutes late), tells me everywhere he's going (heck, he tells me everything period), but the biggest way I can tell? He doesn't look and if he does, he's very subtle about it. We were in the bowling alley the other night and the girl at the register had a small figure but huge breasts that she was obviously trying to show off, b/c she had this low-cut top with all this great cleavage. Even I couldn't help but notice (cause I was thinking, "what kind of bra is she wearing that makes em look that good?" lol), but my husband's eyes didn't drift not once. And believe me I watched him. Not once.

Bottom line? Judge him by his actions and don't make him pay for someone else's mistakes. I've had that happen to me and it hurts.

Answer 2

If you have known this man long enough to consider marriage, you should certainly be able to have a frank talk with him. Tell him frankly, that you have baggage, and have been hurt very badly in the past, and don't wish to be hurt again. Ask him how you know he won't hurt you. If he is honest, he will probably say that you just have to trust him. Then, ask how he will handle it if you have doubts. Some pre-wedding counselling would be a very good idea. You know how much it hurts when things go wrong, and now is the time to take all the precautions you can to make sure this is right. Look at his history. Has he ever cheated before? One thing you can be almost a hundred percent sure of, is that cheaters cheat. Nearly a hundred percent of the time, if they have, they will. Did he end a relationship after he met you? Consider how. If he had former wives, find out the true facts. This isn't distrust, just insurance. After marriage, if your husband doesn't want to be seen publicly with you, works late without increased income, has a sudden increase in interest how he looks,complains about you while his interest in the physical side of marriage lessens, it is time for a frank talk, or some discrete checking.

Answer 3

You have good reason to think all men cheat. Talk to your man, tell him what you went through when you were cheated on and how it made you feel, the hurt and pain it caused you. Tell him the outcome of that is that sometimes you think all men will cheat. Tell him you really need him to show you that not all men cheat and you want to really trust him but right now you just don't know how. What you're feeling is for real and these are real emotions not to be taken lightly.
If he really loves and cares about you, he will not have a problem helping you through this and showing you what he is really made of.

Answer 4

PR ur sooo mean!!u cant say that about all men..if u r a cheater that doenst mean that all men are like u!!
anyways..
talk it over with ur fiance and tell him about ur fears..he will comfort u and assure u that that wont happen..
now the hard work is from ur side..a man will look outside when he doesnt find what he wants at home..
so put ur batteries on and be the woman every man wishes to be with!!
good luck and wish u the best in ur life!

Answer 5

Once bitten, twice shy. It's normal to have trust issues after being burned, but you may want to seek counseling to try to get over it. Don't make your fiance pay for your ex's mistakes or you will have a third divorce. Good luck.

Answer 6

I really think you need some help. I ex- husband had the same experience like you and he gave me such a terrible time for 5 years suspecting me all the time. and finally we broke up. ....without professional help it will be really difficult to get out of that feeling. If you want to keep your 3rd marrige happy, I strongly recommend you to get help. if you don't, why don't you try to be alone without having any close relationship for a while. Y I think you need a cooling time at least.

Answer 7

Yes I'm convinced they will all cheat if given the chance. But they say we create what we fear the most. Maybe you should get some counseling before heading for the alter again.

Answer 8

relies upon on the guy and the marriage. My ex-spouse grow to be/is purely a poor guy or woman. i grow to be committed to the marriage yet after 7 years, i could no longer take it anymore and started making plans my go out. It so befell I met somebody else and after many months I grew to grow to be emotionally linked to her. We did no longer have intercourse yet emails/telephone calls etc. I did tell her i grow to be in love together with her even nonetheless i grow to be nevertheless married. i comprehend she often puzzled if i grow to be extreme and my purely be apologetic approximately is that i did no longer circulate away me ex faster yet i attempted to do what grow to be maximum suitable. A twelve months later I married the different woman. we've been fortuitously married for 8 years and have 2 infants mutually so each and every so often it does ensue...

Answer 9

well no but i know people who's like that just like you ! so don't feel bad about your seft well on this world has alot of kind man OR maybe just maybe u should think Y they cheated I'm just saying ok! but don't feel sad one day a man will make you feel diffend but that time find out his personality first!

Answer 10

Just don't look for what you don't want to find.
yes all men cheat is in our nature.Deal with it or get divorce again.