Am I an awful person for this? How should I handle this?

Question

I am 12 weeks pregnant. I am very high risk by having 4 miscarriages previously. This is the furthest I've ever gotten in a pregnancy. I haven't told my fiancee. I don't know how to tell him. I am debating on if I should tell him. What should I do?

About the over weight answer, I am 5'6 and 165lbs. I haven't started showing yet and making very good use of oversized shirts.

Answer 1

Of course you should tell him if he's the father. You are not an awful person. I understand your apprehension. But he loves the child as much as you. He should know that the child exists.

Answer 2

I have had 3 miscarriages and felt really awfull because I couldn't keep them. You need all the support you can get so tell your fiancee. Just let him know whats going on and I'm sure he will help you with anything you might need. Dont be scared all you need to think about is relaxing and taking care of yourself so you can have a good pregnancy and a healthy baby.

Answer 3

There is only one answer to your question and that is to tell him. He deserves the right to know! I am pretty sure he understands the circumstances of the pregnancy. Dont keep him in the dark. And please dont let him find out from someone else, that is the worse thing that could happen. You are planning to marry this man. Dont start keeping secerts now. The more you keep this secert the more you will stress, and you and the baby dont need that. Stop thinking the worse and tell him. Good luck and I wish you and your future husband the best of luck! God bless.

Answer 4

Most doctors say that you are safe once you are out of the first trimester, which you are considering you are 12 weeks along. There is still a chance you'll miscarry, but not as likely.

And, if you do lose the baby, your fiance will be there to support you.

Besides, he's going to find out eventually, so it's better to tell him now.

Answer 5

It's ok to wait for a while to tell anyone. Some doctors will say if you make it thru the first trimester chances are much higher for you to carry full term.But then again your fiancee is supposed to be your partner he has the right to know and it might bring you even closer together to share this with each other.You should not have to go thru this fear alone.

Answer 6

If your 12 weeks along, your almost done with the first trimester (ends at 13 wks). After the first trimester the chances of a miscarriage lowers greatly. I would tell him ASAP, he'd love hearing he's going to be a daddy.

Answer 7

You should tell him, stress is a no no for high risk pregnancies. By teling him,he can support you in bring this baby to full term. He is yoru fiancee right? he is going to find out one way or the other, being honest is the best policy-

Answer 8

Just tell him. I don't know why he wouldn't understand. It's not like you did it on purpose the 4 other times. And just because you had a little bad luck in the past doesn't mean you'll have some this time too.

Answer 9

You should tell him. You should remain calm. and Not stress about this, as stress is not going to help you out. And no you're not an awful person because you don't want to get the hopes of your fiance up! this shows that you're an amazingly caring person!! But you should let him know. I really hope that this works out for you. good luck!

Answer 10

Get excited about it and think of a neat way to tell him, and DO IT! He should know. When you miscarried, you needed his support I am sure. And since that is NOT going to happen, he should be able to be excited too. Plus, like someone said, you are marrying him, you should be able to talk to him about anything. Good luck, and take it easy! CONGRATS!