we have been married for 18 1/2 years and she wants a divorce. she told me i needed to change the way i show my emotions and show how i feel. since she has been gone i have went to councling and read books like she asked me to, i do show my feelings more than ever now. but she wants me to sign the papers still.
2006-08-28 09:26:29 · 21 answers · asked by rvraiderdad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfortunately, it sounds like she had her mind made up long ago before you started counseling. If youre not familiar with the law, then by all means get either an atty or a paralegal to look at and explain everything in these papers before yoy sign and make sure you agree with every detail. Because, once you sign and she files them then youre really out of luck. I understand that you would do anything for her, but dont trust her so have the papers checked to make sure you arent screwing yourself over, either now or in the future. This way youll have no regret and you dont have to sign anything til youre good and ready, and the paralegal can help you make any changes you want. Good luck
2006-08-28 09:45:27 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are doing all of the things she has asked you to do and you truly have changed, then maybe there is an alternative reason behind her wanting a divorce. You can only do so much and it is going to take a lot of work from you AND your wife in order to be able to repair the marriage. Regardless, you will probably still end up having to sign the papers. There is really no way around it.
2006-08-28 09:36:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the laws in the state you are in she can get a divorce without you signing even if you contest it and it goes to court unless she is willing to reconsider then it is best to go ahead and sign because it will cost a whole lot less...unless the two of you have a lot of property then it's best to do everything with the help of an attorney. If there are children involved it is best to keep everything as friendly as possible for everyone's sake.
2006-08-28 09:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by lucky_lady_blazing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand her perspective - and you need to as well.
I hate to say it, but a few months of therapy is NOT going to undo 18+ years of hard feelings and resentment. I'm sure that she gave you PLENTY of warnings about working on an attitude adjustment before she filed for divorce & you went into therapy, right?
You need to honor your wife's reasonable request for divorce. What do you hope to gain by refusing - FORCING her to be with you? I don't think so. It would be just one more way you're manipulating her...you therefore wouldn't have learned as much as you thought you did in therapy about emotional expression and/or control.
2006-08-28 09:31:43 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all are you the only one that needs to change? It takes two in a marriage. Get her the book "The Poper care and Feeding of husbands" By Dr. Laura. I am only through part of it but it is an excellent book. YOu need to look at the fact that you are trying and she really doesn't seem to care. And that you are the only one that needs to change. Tell her also that you would like her to go to consuling before you sign any papers.
2006-08-28 09:33:50 · answer #5 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
advantageous she will divorce him if there grow to be a legally binding marriage. and he or she might have the capacity to get alimony and baby help additionally. the different women will want an eviction observe and would have the capacity to get baby help and attainable palimony. hehehe -- it is not adultry in simple terms because of the fact the spouse transformations her suggestions with regard to the stay-in girlfriends while it isn't any longer suitable to her. She knew what she grow to be stepping into. What a sticky, sticky mess you get for sticking your d**ok into too many pots!
2016-10-01 00:27:56 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants you to sign the papers, you may as well; the alternative is to live with a pissed-off woman who doesn't love you and will instead spend all the $$ you have to get even, while sleeping with other men in your house and bragging about it.
Move on, start dating and get a girlfriend better looking than she is - it will all be worth it.
2006-08-28 09:31:39 · answer #7 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. a day late and a dollar short.
If she is out nothing you can do can change her mind. You have no control over her thought and feelings. Sign the papers and enjoy fishing, hunting and those things that you missed out when she was busy nagging you about chores.
2006-08-28 10:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her this emotion......
"No, I still love you and I am not signing that damn document." Be a man. A strong man. There is nothing wrong with being assertive. Perhaps she will appreciate it and then maybe.........
Get the book. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. It did wonders for me.
2006-08-28 09:34:37 · answer #9 · answered by e_guanajuato 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has moved on....you have to do the same thing...whether or not you sign on the dotted line, she is divorcing you. Perhaps if you had listened long ago, it wouldn't have come to this, but you didn't, and it has. Good luck
2006-08-28 09:30:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋