Joint Custody or Sole Custody - Which is better based on your experience?

Question

I have read some studies that say joint custody is actually bad for kids because they need a stable environment. Contrary to the "feel good" belief, children need one home, not two. What is your experience?

Answer 1

one house is always best.... but.... children need BOTH their parents.... JOINT!

Answer 2

joint is better whenever possible. most all the personal experiences of the previous writers support this choice and the children can see the most of both parents. When sole custody is the rule, and history backs this majority of cases, it becomes about the 'control' of visitation' and about the money; and the children do pay the penalty and miss time with a mom or dad; that can never be theirs; memories never to be. Many who have sole custody do want more from the other spouse, including paying all the bills, so that becomes a total financial thing....short on the child support, no kids. Not paying my rent so I can enjoy my life? Hey all you sole supporters,if you can, how about getting a job to help out...you know who you are!!!

Answer 3

Sole custody means other parent has no rights or any say in the up bringing of the children. This is not good.

Joint custody means both parents have a say in the up bringing of the children but the main resident of the child parent has final say.

Go with Joint custody for the children's sake.

Answer 4

I always think joint custody is the way to go if it can go that way. Unfortunately I was unable to get to court because I NEVER knew the last court date for my custody hearing ( I WAS NEVER TOLD WHEN IT WAS) therefor my EX got sole custody and is being an JERK about everything, just b/c he "says" he has the kids and not me makes it ok for everything. Im NOT ALLOWED to go to ANY of their School get togethers or I get thrown off the school property, I did not get a Proper scheduled visitation from the court, He doesnt listen to ANYTHING MY SON WANTS, he basically ignores him . My ex admitted to me that he is lazy and can't be bothered to get the kids up to go to the bathroom at night, so they pee the bed and my son is 13 yrs old and my daughter will be 12 next month. The only reason he wants those kids is they both get SSI. My son BEGGED me to FILE for CUSTODY for him, I did and I LOST all b/c we had the same PRO-MALE judge that gave my ex custody in the first place and what,s more is the judge that gave him custody signed my 1st of 2 STAY AWAY ORDERS OF PROTECTION ( with-in 5 months of each other) of which on the 2nd one he was arrested.I told my son that he would have to "deal" with his dad until he is 16 then he could move out and move in with my new husband and I unless something bad happens before then.

Answer 5

Joint custody is the best and sole is the worst as long as both parents are fit. The courts should adopt joint custody and assign a parenting Coordinator to help the parent come up with a plan that is best for the children. Kids are not pawns to punish one parent vs the other.

Answer 6

In my opinion I think joint custody because the children have stability with both parents that is if the parents have no bad blood between them kids are very fast learners they already know most times when mommy and daddy are having problems so they will adapt and joint custody doesnt mean that the children have two homes they understand that they live with mommy but they go visit daddy for a few days or during the summer.

Answer 7

A person who chooses to have sole custody is a selfish person. It's not fair to the other parent.

I'm a female, and I've seen many vicious women take the kids away from their father just because they can. It's sad and not fair to the child.

This world is hard enough. Why make the child suffer?

Joint custody builds a well rounded child.

Answer 8

This is not a black or white answer. There is a lot of gray area where custody is concerned. I was raised by my father, and saw my biological mom on every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer. Christmas sucked because we spent Christmas Eve with my dad and his family and Christmas Day with my mom and her's. Anyway, I have pretty much sole custody of my son, his dad takes him for a few weeks in the summer to do the DisneyLand daddy thing and than its back to mom to raise him. Anyway I would rather no contact than a little bit here or there it's too confusing on the child. I have remarried and have another child. We are a "normal American" family.

Answer 9

You are right. One household is best for the child. But you have to put in consideration the reason why the parents has separated. If it was due to domestic violence then custody should go to the parent that was not the abuser. If it was because they split up because they could not get along or for other reason, then joint custody would be appropriate. Unless one of the parents just don't won't to be apart of their child life. Then you have to explain it to the child why the parents are in two different homes.

Answer 10

i believe that the children should be in the most stable place available, depending on the age the child/ren should be given a choice@10 depending on maturity.,a child should only have one primary residence that they can associate with home the one they feel most secure in.Yes its nice to give children a choice, but we must remember that they are children not adults and shouldn't be veiwed as such in a custody hearing.My step children have lived with us for the last five years before there mother had sole custody, which was wielded like a two edged sword,she would pick and choose who what where when etc, the kids where given there own laywers because they wanted to live with us, and i wasn't about to bash a mother who wasn't doing anything wrong as a parent per say, we had social workers in our house to see how the kids acted at our house vs, their moms(current residence at the time) how they interacted with us etc:in short it was decided that we have joint/shared custody which means that the children live primarily with us, but see there mom every other weekend, and alternating weaks in the summer months, and holidays divided.Just remember its about being a good parent and being attentive to the childs needs, not a nit picking debate on parenting skills.

Answer 11

Joint custody mean that you both make decisions concerning the kids. Do you mean placement, which is different. The only way you would get full custody is if the other parent would be unfit. Full placement is more stable for the children, and the other parent would get the children every other weekend or what ever visitation that you set up.