My mom wants me to leave, where should I go?

Question

I told my mom that I was a lesbian and she is acting like it never happened. She told me that after this school year I should go off somewhere to college and "find myself". She took away my rainbow belt and told me not to tell anyone about it. I am in college already. I am probably going to have to transfer which I don't mind because I want to leave. I am just going to have to keep my grades up in order to transfer to a good school. I am 18 and a freshman in college. Does anyone have any suggestions on any states I should move to or any colleges. I want to go somewhere gay friendly and where I could find a girlfriend. Somewhere that I could try and live forever.

Answer 1

Mom's in shock right now so let things calm down OK? When time passes and she decides to talk to you then don't make this all about her (Mom) and remind her you haven't changed and by opening to her you felt close enough to be able too tell her. I know this is hard on you and most parents don't feel it's your fault they feel it's their fault in some way and it's all about them and not you so let things calm down and keep us updated on how things are going. Take care :)

Answer 2

That is kind of sad. Don't let your "Mother" kick you out of your home state if you want to stay there, it's your home too and she will just have to deal with it. On the other hand if you want to try another college that is more lesbian friendly and so on then transfering could be fun for you. It depends where you want to go, a small college, big city school, one that has a good program in your major, cost, or whatever. The Princeton Review has a list of the top 361 gay friendly colleges on the web-site so you could go to one of those. If you want a big college try CA or NY, small college try GA, or somewhere in the middle try FL.

Answer 3

First off, and I'm sure you already know this...but you're mom's being a real *****.

I'm sorry for you for that.

Secondly, what type of school are you looking for?

Northwestern University in Evanston, IL is an AMAZING school, Ivy league, really accepting and you're just a short drive away from the Boystown area of Chicago!

I know I'm a little biased as I went there, both my parents went there and my son was thinking about going there. But it really is a good school.
Columbia College in Chicago is another good school, but it's focus is mainly liberal and performing arts. If that's not what you're going to school for, it would be a really bad match.
UIC University of Illinois Chicago, another great school, has a wider variety of available majors and it's also as accepting as the other two.

If your parents are still going to pay for your education, then I really suggest looking into these schools.

Also, just so you know. Chicago and Cook County have a non-discrimination employment/housing/education policy that is outstanding!

Good luck to you!

Answer 4

About 4 hours ago I asked a question that got lots of answers that may help. The question was, "Any suggestions on where in the US there are larger lesbian communities of all ages...?" It got lots of answers. Look at them, check out the schools with good programs for you major, and find out other stuff like weather, etc for the area. Still, mostly focus on getting the best degree for your interest. College is much more fun when living on or near campus instead of at home. Good luck!

PS - sorry about your mom. She's wrapped up in what other people will think about her. Give her time and space and maybe leave out some PFLAG literature when she calms down. No point fighting her about it since she's gotta figure it out for herself. Hopefully, she'll come around.

Answer 5

I'm sorry your mom is acting like such a child. A friend of mine had the exact same problem and his mom and dad did grow out of it. So figure there is hope for her. I would look first to the type of place you want to live. There are gay people wherever there are people. Some places are more open but I have had friends hurt in them too. I have also seen a young man come out in the hick-est town you can imagine and everyone just kinda saluted his bravery and went on with life. E if I can be more help or if you need someone to talk to like a mom until yours settles down.

Answer 6

are you still living at home?? if you are then, definitely transfer. Try somewhere on the East Coast or California, those are really gay-friendly but, I don't know what your interests/talents are and I certainly can't tell you which college to attend!!! I think the real issue here is to sit down and have a long talk with your mom. You don't want to alienate yourself from her love. Try to make her understand...she is the one who gave birth to you and, if you can't count on her, then you can count on no one.
You probably should have been more discreet and not told her anything. I am not going to tell my parents until I am on my own and good and ready to tell them.
I am going to be slammed all over for saying this, but right now your desire to move is selfish, and your relationship with your mom is way more important than being a lesbian. Be discreet around her, apologize, do what you have to. Girlfriends come and go, moms are forever.

Answer 7

Northampton Massachusetts - Smith College
Seattle Area - live in Capitol Hill
San Francisco area
Southern California
Boston Area
Portland, Oregan area
Phoenix, AZ
Minneapolis, MN

Answer 8

Just-ine-credible's suggestion is a good one -- I went to Columbia College in Chicago and it seemed like straight people were a minority. The school is so liberal that you can call your teacher's by their first names.

However, if you aren't in the arts then I would suggest Austin, Texas, where I live now. I know it's Texas, but Austin itself is just as liberal as San Francisco and the people are friendlier. University of Texas is here, it's a great school, and there are lots of young people here. Lot's of lesbians too -- I always end up hanging out with them at the bars instead of dancing with my friends.

One side note: you do really need to move out if your mother is not tolerant. You will do yourself no favors if you sacrifice your happiness for the sake of someone else, especially at your age.

Answer 9

Albuquerque - University of New Mexico. Great climate, gay-friendly, largish lesbian population. Aside from the difficulty of spelling the name of the place, it's a really nice place!

Also, compared to many states, fees at UNM are lower, so you'll have an easier time looking after yourself. Housing and other things are cheap too.

Answer 10

I don't know what your major is, but Antioch University here in L.A. is very gay friendly.
I'm sorry your mom is acting the way she is, she's just in shock right now, give her some time and space to come to terms with everything. Hopefully she'll come around when she realize that she might lose you. Good Luck!