Do you think stay at home wifes are more jealous than working wives?

Question

What can I do to make her less jealous?
It's not like I am always talking with other women.

I used to hear s hi t about going to the gym too much so i bought weigths for the garage and now I hear that I work out so much for attention rather than just being healthy or feeling good.

My wife is still very attractive herself so I dont know where the insecurity comes from. I try to just ignore it and let it pass but sometimes it can be annoying

sometimes i feel like she just had to b itch about something.

most men get s hit for letting themselves go physically....... I get **** for spending too much time working out.

Answer 1

I remember feeling like that when I was home with my kids and yes, it helps to get out and feel like you have something thats yours. When your home like that it feels like the world is passing you by and everyone gets to be prat of it but you. Think about it, your out working, meeting people, having adult conversations ans she's home getting spit up on. Don't get me wrong, I love my boys to death but a part of you gets lost and it's hard to find it again.

Answer 2

I know that all the other women and stay at home moms are going to hate this, but yes I do think that moms who are not working are jealous, to a point, but not as you see it. It may not be other women she is jealous of, it is more likely that you have more time outside of the house, more adult conversations and such. I know when you are gone working you really are not getting a break or having any free time to yourself, but when you are stuck in the house with the kids all the time, you can go nuts and feel like any break from the daily housework and raising the kids is a break.
I suggest you watch the kids once or twice a week and let her have some time to herself, like you get by going to the gym or working out in the garage, because it is time away from the kids and the every day- day in and day out stuff that is bringing her down. I know it is annoying- because I had done it myself, but try to see things from her point of view, and ignoring it will not make it go away. My husband told me that he did understand where i was coming from and I now take an afternoon once a week to walk away from it all for a little while and I feel better, and so does he, mainly because I am not such a nag about the little things, that I was jealous of.

Answer 3

You don't mention why she is home. I stay home---but I have had 3 small children. I chase them. I don't get out a lot. Sometimes I am wearing scrubby clothes all day long. And when I do get out to run errands, they are always with me and it is to places like the park or grocery store. There are days that I cannot wait for my husband to get home--cause I miss adult stimulation---or just can use the break. And I am definitely not the skinniest chick anymore. But, my husband makes me feel loved, pretty, attractive....and the best. I think the key is to SHOW your wife this. If my husband went to the garage after being at work for 10 hours--my mind would wander. I would start to feel like he didn't want to be with me. And become unhappy. There is nothing wrong with working out..and feeling good....but make TIME with her. Instead of lifting weights, take your wife out once a week. Have a date night. Cook dinner one night. Have her meet you somewhere. Or meet friends from work. Buy a little gift...now and then. Do the laundry for her one day. If you have kids, take them off her hands for awhile. Get a babysitter. Get a cleaning lady. Whatever you do, don't come home from work---then ignore her by sitting in the garage. Believe me, if she's insecure--it is because of your actions...intentional or not. She's jealous that you get out of the house--and she's not. And when you come home--she wants your attention. If you don't have kids....she probably needs to get out and have a life. But, it's important that you two have a life together. Find another time to work out. Lunchtime, early morning, when she's asleep. Or ask her to join you...

Answer 4

How about talking calmly to your wife about what it is that makes her feel this way. This is just a topic, its not the real problem. If you feel she just needs to gripe then she is unhappy, you are supposed to be her best friend and her partner in life, talk to her about what is making her so unhappy and so insecure then help her find a way to change that. She may not know right away but with some encouragement she'll be able to figure out what is really behind it and until you two figure that out you can't really solve the problem.

If you try this route and it doesn't work then let her know that you tried and that you just won't tolerate it anymore, you wanted to help her but since she insists on just staying miserable thats her choice and you won't allow her to drag you down and make you miserable too. Don't accomodate her insecurities anymore and let her know that she makes you feel like crap when she shows that she thinks so little of you as a person. Tell her that when she wants to figure it out you'll be there to help her all the way but until then she needs to realize that its HER issue, not yours and that you have done nothing wrong so won't be treated like a naughty child anymore. Remember though you can't FIX her, she has to fix her, you can encourage and support and reassure (a little bit) but she has to do the work on herself. Good luck to both of you!

Answer 5

I'm not sure........I worked and now that we have kids I stay home with them.......I think my problem was that I had too much time to think about things and boy did i over think! Now that I am at home with the kids I don't have time to bother with him........I hardly ever call him at work.........but when we didn't have kids I was jealous.......I always thought he would cheat on me and he did anyway.........he left me 2 months after our first child was born cause he thought he had a chance with some whore at work.........so i figure a guy will cheat no matter what.......I am cute and have a great body and he is not so cute but I loved him anyway.......I adored him and would have done anything for him and he threw it away.....People ask him all the time how did he get me cause I am so cute and yet he still cheated on me.......so I guess, just be faithful, honest, always have open communication and don't hide things or lie........even petty little things will get us thinking about a bigger picture whether there is one or not.........and then we start bitching and hounding you and being jealous.

Answer 6

Hmmm...I don't know. I'm not a stay at home wife..but it sounds like she needs to get her own activities and hobbies so she won't be so jealous of you having your own. Now, you're not doing anything to make her feel this way are you? Maybe all she needs from you is more attention. Why not include her in some of your activities? In that way, she won't feel so left out and and would instead feel more involved with you. I know in my marriage we each have our own activities aside from the ones we do together. It keeps the boredom away.

Answer 7

Jealousy has nothing to do with whether your wife works or not.

There is nothing wrong with you having friends, even women friends, and also your wife having her friends even male friends.

Jealousy is an illness, it really is, ask your wife to attend marriage counselling with you, or if she prefers therapy to discuss why she feels so insecure.

The fact that you find her attractive is great!!! Do you tell her every day that she is the most beautiful woman you know, that you love her and she is your world? That sort of thing is really important to women, working or not. Appreciate her for what she is, and tell her you love her because she is who she is and you can't imagine life without her.

Answer 8

She could be feeling more jealous because she is the one staying at home all the time not having that contact with other people a.k.a. opposite sex like you are....

It could also be that you are not spending enough quality time with her. If she is home all of the time and you are going out alot when you aren't working then she is going to feel neglected and it make take the form of jealousy especially if she feels like you doing activities to attract the attention of other women rather than her.

It sounds like you need to be home doing activities with her....being in the garage isn't good enough....you need to spend special time with her and make her feel wanted and needed or the jealousy will most likely continue....

Answer 9

stay at home wives get insecurity because they don't get to go out often, and the husband goes to work usually have affairs with their secretaries. So if the husband doesn't come home for dinner, they know something's up, even if he calls before hand saying he's staying late at work or something, the stay home wives will start to wonder if he's telling the truth. I think you should talk to her, and make her secure by saying there's nothing she should be jelous over, and that she's the one for you.

Answer 10

If i've said it once i've said it a dozen times......., bring back the romance!!! I know you need your own time and space.., we all do, but it's the little things that matter. Like...., calling just to say hi and I love you. Ask about her day.., what she's been doing..., that she is beautiful and incredible!!! It just might spice up your sex life too!! All these things make a woman feel needed and loved. Reinforce your love for her every chance you get.., and remember that sometimes.., actions speak louder than words!! It will ease her jealousy too, if you keep telling her she is the only one...., if she truly is!!

Answer 11

If you honestly are not giving your wife any reason to be jealous(and only you know if you are) then you have a serious problem. Still if you love her you have to exhaust every effort to assure her that you are not.
If all else fails then the problem could be deep seated within herself...in which place you need to get help of counseling or the aid of a professional.

Both of your happiness is at stake.