I asked a question last week about whether I should get a job or go to school. Well, I got a job at a local Wal-Mart and will be making good money. Thanks to all of you who answered. Anyway, now I have another problem. I do love my husband and we just broke up at the beginning of August. I want to go to marriage counseling and try to work things out with him. But he keeps going back and forth with what he wants to do. Yesterday he told me that he did love me but that part of him doesn't want to get back together. So I asked him why he doesn't want to get back together and he had a list of reasons. Then I asked him why he did want to get back together and he said, "Because I love you and the kids." Then I asked him what he loved about me and he couldn't answer me. It broke my heart when I saw that he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. So does that mean that he just wants to get back together for the kids? Should I just give up or should I give him time? I am so confused right now.
2006-08-28 08:37:38 · 12 answers · asked by Amanda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It looks like your husband needs to do some deep soul searching and get his priorities in order before he looses everything. He has some unknown personal items to deal with before he can settle down.He definitely doesnt know what he wants. He does want you and the kids but not the responsibility or committment that comes with you guys.He wants the ability to "visit" you, then walk away from it all. His wedding ring represents his responsibilities and currently scares him so he takes it off, but he does truly love you guys. You need to be patient and give him some time and see if things start to change. How much time depends on you and when the point of enough is enough comes and you just cant handle it anymore. Wish I could give you a better answer but woithout more details and not knowing him, its not worth guessing, but if I can be of anymore help email me. Good luck
2006-08-28 09:05:14 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes two and if he is flip flopping back forth then he may not know how to tell you that he wants out. You can't have a relationship by yourself and getting back together just for the kids is not the answer. It could make things worse. It sounds to me like the marriage is over.
2006-08-28 08:42:38 · answer #2 · answered by buttafli 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation beginning of this year. My husband wasn't sure if he want it to be with me and our son or living his free life ("living la vida loca"). So, we were trying back and forward, because of these. One night, I ask him why you came back, and he said, I miss my things, I feel comfortable in my house but he didn't mention me. So, that night I thought that wasn't anymore the choice for him to stay or leave. IT WAS MY CHOICE, I love him deeply because he was my first love and father of my child but was enough for me. I took a deep breath and told him that I didn't want him to come back. Yes, I cried that week but six month later I'm thankful for that moment. Because I understood that he never love me the way I was supposed to be love or the same way that I love him.
Forget about the kids for a moment, when you two got married it was only the two of you, if that is gone, that feeling (doesn't matter if you or him lost it, just one is more that enough to doesn't work), just let him go. It's not fare to you.
2006-08-28 08:52:10 · answer #3 · answered by success532 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not wearing the ring is only telling females that he is available and of course by him not living with you he isn't going to tell any one he is married, if he cant tell you what it is he loves about you then its a waste of time for you to try and get back with him he should of had a list of answers for that ?,don't take him back for the kids sake that will just make things worst he will cheat and lie and you don't need that you have to be strong for your babies sake he wants to move on let him your working making your own $ now save $ continue to work and focus on the kids and getting yourself together and tell him take care of the kids that's all you want form him and a divorce
2006-08-28 08:46:15 · answer #4 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are the reason why he doesn't want to stay in the marriage? Are they fixable? does he want to explore other relationships? or has something changed in the relationship between you two and you've grown apart? there are some questions still that you need to ask of him and there is never 1 right answer...just continue to communicate with him and see where it leads you. It's a big sign if he's taken off his wedding band. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
2006-08-28 08:48:35 · answer #5 · answered by MissyMoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on the great career move of working at Wal-Mart. Maybe he doesn't want to deal with a loser wife with a bunch of brats. Get your cr*p together and let him see what he is missing. He will come back or you can find a better one.
2006-08-28 09:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by BadAdvice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't tell you what he loves about you and he is not wearing his wedding ring......, then I smell a rat! He may be getting the attention of someone else who is making him feel like the man he wants to be right now. I would ask him point blank.., in a nice civil way.., if there is someone else. My prayers are with you!!
2006-08-28 08:45:38 · answer #7 · answered by scarlett11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men show their love not speak it. Women are more vocal. My husband works 50 hrs a week, on the school board, volunteers on the ambulance and is going to school. I know that he loves me. He stated he loved you, does his actions speak to you, you can ak him to show it more. Then you can tell. The little things in life are spoken more than the large ones. My husband goes and gets me coffee in the morning before he goes to work. I know its not a lot but when he doesn't have time, he calls and apologizes a couple hours later.
2006-08-28 08:42:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he feels guilty and is contemplating whether to get back with you for for the kids......I know you love him and want to work things out but you can not force these things.........its best you just split up and try to move on..........it will be better for the kids in the long run.........kids are not dumb and they know when something is going on between you guys and it will just be horrible for them if you guys get back together and then split up again,,,,,,,,
2006-08-28 08:42:24 · answer #9 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry for your pain! Please give up on him! Dont ask any questions to him anymore its too painful.What u dont know cant hurt you.Yes move on and do well at your new job.You will find a love again!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-28 08:41:31 · answer #10 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋