what does everyone think of this?

Question

I am going through a divorce- my soon to be x- likes to be diffucult- I sent my kids off with my ex last night and before they left I gave them each a lolipop- no big deal, and he has never had a problem with candy in the past, but he is seeing this new girl, and I think she has a major problem with me- which is stupid because I would never take him back in a million years, but since she has been in his life he has tried to prove me unfit- he called DCF on me, and he is stupid about absolutly EVERYTHING- basically everything he has wanted or tried to prove against me (an unfit mother) has failed and so now he just want's to cause trouble- and it's really funny because he has joined the mormon religion (for this girl) anyways back to the question- I got this e-mail from him today after sending kids w/ lolipops- including his girlfriends kid- I got one for her as well- and this is the e-mail I get

Just to let you know.....it was a nice gesture of you to send the kids
home
with candy last night. However, due to their behavior after consuming
artificial colors and flavors, I severely limit their intake of those
types
of foods. On special occasions, I give them treats like that. But, I
have
found alternative snacks and treats that do not have that affect on
them.
I just wanted you to know, because they did not eat the candy. If you
like, I can give it back to you.

is that not loony- and wouldn't most people just say hey- please dont give the kids candy anymore- it makes them hyper-

what do you think?
I got a laugh- i feel really bad for my children

Answer 1

you feel really bad for your children, and i feel really bad for you. is obvious that this new beau of his is the one trying to enforce these rules, and either he is to scared to counter argue with her or he just doesnt care what she does. but i guess as long as their home doesnt pose a threat for your kids, there isnt much that you can do about it. those are rules he wants to enforce in his home. all you can do is kill them with kindness and also let him know that those rules can apply at his house but when the kids are with you they will be under your care and rules. it sucks how people like to change once they get in a another relationship after all the time the kids were use to doing a certain thing, then they have to change up because of his new toy.
keep your head up, it'll get better.

Answer 2

Just keep being the best Mom that you can be to the kids. If something like this simple thing cause a problem, laugh and keep it to yourself. Never say bad things to the kids about their Dad or his girlfriend. Trust me, they will about you, but when the kids get older it will pay you dividends. Now that my kids are older, the are always bring up the little things that we did that were so simple and also so cheap. Like buying a bag of rubber bands and hooking them all together so much that they stretched it out for 2 city blocks, or when they found 2 old waterbed boards in a trash bin and came home with the (40 feet). We ended up making a "new" kitchen table out of the wood and they had a blast. It's amazing what they remember. What really came to light as they grew older were the things they said that their Mom said about me. What they heard and what they saw in reality were 2 different things. Kids are NOT stupid. Appease the guy withinn reason. Should he try and become to much of a control freak, put your foot down. Ask for a meeting with him and his minister. It will scare him. Let him know that you know how much he values the ministers opinion that you want to discuss the kids issues in front of him for some input from the minister on how the "2" of you should handle the problem. This alone should slow down his stupid issues. The best to you and chin up!!! Gary T.

Answer 3

You're not being difficult but when they head to the ex's just don't go that route, respect their wishes and hopefully they're mature enought to do the same. If he's tried everything in the book to make you look bad, then he's just trying other avenues to tick you off. Don't let it show. Be the bigger person but don't lay down so they can walk all over you. Stay firm but when the kids go with him, forget the lollypops until they return. But it was really great of you to give on to the daughter as well. Maybe next time you can ask what the "deem" suitable for their religon. Otherwise just drop it.

Good Luck, sounds like they have a great mama.

Answer 4

I think his email was polite, to the point and honored you. You are being over sensitive. That is understandable under the circumstances. I am just giving you the honest opinion of someone outside the situation. Plenty of women would have done the same as he did if the dad sent the kids with candy and they thought it was a problem. Lighten up a little. You are going to need to learn to chill. I know it is hard. But I think you are good woman and wise. Please take my advice. You will be glad you did.

Answer 5

He's stupid. He's got to understand that u are the children's mom & always will be. His other girlfriend will never love those kids as much as u. Children need both a mother & a father. If he's in it for the longhaul, then he should be glad that the kids have a real mother who is in it for the longhaul too. But maybe in time he'll get smarter.

Answer 6

Oh ! She is on a natural kick! I would just write back and say Oh Im sorry Ill make sure there is no candy next time.Thanx for letting me know! This nipps it cause she wants some control it sounds like .She is hopeing to fight with u over it.Be mature dont fall into it ever with her just stay clear of her wierd ways....Oh and tht wont be the last crap u will get so be ready!

Answer 7

Lord have mercy..what a loony. She is just trying to prove something..what, I don't really know. Unless her kid has some medical condition that prohibits sugar, then she should just let it go. I am sorry you have to deal with this nitwit. Good luck.

I won't even go into the Mormon thing..I am not trying to judge, but all I know is that my mom went to their church ONCE when I was about 5 years old..well, I am 28 now and they never stopped contacting her. Despite repeated attempts on her part to tell them to leave her the hell alone..they are very persistent.

Answer 8

I am sure it is tough to go through this type of transition with your kids. Unless you and the new girl can become friends there will always be friction. When it comes to eating candy or even eating between meals my wife and I always disagreed when the kids were younger (in 20's now). She would think it was okay to have candy and eat between meals. I always thought that was a mistake. Is she trying to be nice or is she trying to talk down to you, do you think?

Answer 9

You should tell her you are very sorry for giving them the candy, and that you did not realize it bothered her so much. Assure her that you will never send candy with them again. Then right before they go next time. Let them eat all the candy they can handle and send them off. That houch needs a reallity check. Kids are usually hiper without the candy. I have four myself.

Answer 10

Don't let him know that whatever he does bothers you. Don't reply to the e-mail, don't send them to him with anything. In other words, don't give him a chance to have anything to say against you in front of the kids. When he comes to get them, just be sure they are neatly dressed, and everything is clean. Talk to him as little as possible, give him no ammunition against you. Good luck.... he's a jerk.