I have a friend-What do I do? (Updated)?

Question

I have a friend who is really awesome, we hang out together and stuff but I have come to the conclusion that he is using me. Let me explain a lil' bit... One time he called me up and asked to hang out & told me call him later n if he didn't answer 2 come to his house. I called twice with a time period of 20 min. in between each call, then i called a third time and his cell was shut off. So I went up to his house and knocked on his bedroom door, opened it and here he is with his brother and tells me, "Go away! We're playing a game you don't like." So I did and I felt hurt! He's ditched me a few times too to go hang with other ppl 2... like we'll be half way through a movie or sumthin & sum1 will call and he'll leave right away. And one week I'll be his 'best' friend and then the next whole month he'll not tlak to me. What do you think I should do? I don't wan2 keep gettin hurt but I cave in when he wants to hang...Giv me some advice! Thanx! ;)

See... I wanted to try to talk to him but I'm afraid of what he'll say. See I'm 19 and hes 24 and we have fun but it's just the way I'm treated. Here's another example of what happen about a week ago... I tried to call him and he didn't answer his cell phone then 20 minutes later I txted him telling him that I was going Jet-Sking in about 20 minutes thats why i called... And he calls like 30 seconds later... I think he's just using me... I dont understand why he does that, if there is something in it for him He'll do it-thats what i think. And becasue of all the crap he's put me throug i've developed an eating disorder (which is gone now), was stressed, and was a lil' depressed because I didnt understand why I was treated like this.. and why i still am being treated liek this.... is just so hard not to cave in when he calls me and wants to hang out!

MORE DETAILS-One time my friend Jessica asked him why he's such a jerk to me... he said, "Well sometimes I just find it funny or other times I just wanna be alone... cuz I know he'll come back!' What do you think of this... I don't know what to think!!!

Answer 1

To be quite frank, your friend cannot be that "awesome" if he treats you like crud. The way it sounds, if he is 24, he is certainly NOT acting his age. I have had my share of people try to run my life (tell me what to do and/or use me for their own benefit) and I found it quite liberating just to let the friendship go. As friends, neither party should EVER feel used or get hurt over stupid stuff such as what you described. As far as what he told your friend Jessica, a true friend would not make a comment like that.

I would say to try to talk it out with him, and based on his response you will know what to do. Don't let him deny that certain things are happening, and certainly do NOT let him make you feel bad for bringing it up. Friends try to work things out together, they don't put the other down for being hurt or offended. Understandably, it will be an uncomfortable topic for both of you, and both of you will react differently to the overall discussion, but what you're feeling makes this conversation with him unavoidable.

However, if you are really uncomfortable bringing it up - I mean, to the point where you feel that it would be better not to - then this friendship should go. Just kind of let it go slowly. Don't call him for one - he doesn't answer anyway! If he calls, go ahead and answer (you don't want to sink to his level), but keep the convo short and sweet - think of something that you need to do that you need to get off the phone for. If he never calls, fine, you were going through TOO MUCH stress for this friendship to work.

Answer 2

Hey kiddo, get rid of this jerk. He should be lucky to have a friend like you who forgives and keeps coming back for more. Don't do that to yourself. Count yourself lucky if he doesn't come back. And if he does, you push him away, not the other way around. Face it, you are a nice guy, or he wouldn't be hanging around. But, he is a jerk. He's older, yes and should know better, but obviously not. Get out there and find new friends. Theres alot of really nice people out there that would love to have a loyal friend such as yourself. Drop his crowd too, they sound just like him. Good luck and have fun making new friends....

Answer 3

Sorry bout your friend. But i think you know as well as the rest of us that you're better than that. You need respect and you need him to treat you like a friend not a door mat. Hey let him go and when the favours run out he'll see that all thats left is the lost friendship underneath.
Don't know if you're getting what i'm trying to say but just do yourself a favour and let him go. he's not worth it. You'll have better friends and people who will love you and treat you right. Hope i helped.

Answer 4

i think that he is using u and u already know this unless u like to be hurt then stop taking his calls and don't let people take advantage of u thats not fair to u find some friends wha=o value u as a person and not as something they can get things out of good luck

Answer 5

if i were you i would forget that yall have fun sometimes because neone who treats you like that doesnt deserve any friends. start hanging out with other people and dont be clingy if he apoligizes, give it a try but dont let him run your life.
p.s. please eat its reallllly bad for you and he is not a reason to hurt yourself maybe you should like spend a week where you are away from him and his influences and crap! good luck with your relationship i know how it feels but it will get better once you realize that you are better than that.

Answer 6

Well, why don't you find another friends. Let me tell you something in this world people are not easy to trust, especially the person that you don't even know.
My suggestion to you is to leave him alone, and don't call him, even if he calls you.

Answer 7

ditch him! Who needs friends like that. Go find another friend who actually wants to hang out.

I say just become as unavailable as you can, dont answer his calls, dont call him.

Answer 8

sorry to say he is not a real friend , he is what you would call an associate. let him be who he is without you being a part of it stop answering his calls and jumping everytime he tells you to . do you really need a friend like this from my guess no.,

Answer 9

DUDE DON'T BE HANGING OUT W/ PEOPLE THAT TREAT YOU LIKE THAT! YOU KNOW BETTER! DON'T LET ANYONE TREAT YOU THAT WAY NO M ATTER WHO THEY ARE: YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, LOVERS, DOESN'T MATTER! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST, SET BOUNDARIES WITH PEOPLE AND STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. IF YOU'RE TOO SCARED THAT THIS GUYS GONNA BE MEAN TO YOU JUST SIMPLY STOP CALLING HIM. YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT HUN!

Answer 10

Why is it so important to you to be friends with this guy? He obviously don't care about your friendship. You should find a friend who will not blow you off like. Someone who wants to spend time with you.