I have question question about the Ferber method?

Question

My little boy is 11months old. Four days ago we started using the Ferber method. We were not sure about it but he has not slept a whole night once yet he has always gotten up at least twice a night. Well I guess that I didn't read up enough on it because while I was in the same room (he didn't realize it though) I just let him cry it out I never actually went to him in interverls to sooth him. I could see him so i knew that he was okay and not hurt making himself sick. After three nights of him crying for about 1hr & 10 min he slept through the night without a peep . Each morning he woke up happy and laughing. Since I never actually "soothed" him personally will this hurt if that i just let him cry. I AM WORRIED PLZ HELP...... THANK YOU

Answer 1

It probably didn't "hurt" him, but even Dr. Ferber has recently stated that his method has been misused and that he never intended for people to let their kids cry for long periods of time. I have a 15 month old, and I do let him go to sleep on his own, but if he fusses or cries for more than about 20 minutes, I try something else. He usually goes to sleep on his own after less than 5 minutes of not really crying but fussing a bit. I just always thought that I would not want to cry myself to sleep every night, so I didn't want my babies to either. You should definitely soothe him some, and I am shocked that you just let him cry that long without doing that on your own. Don't just blindly follow a book: do what feels right to you and you won't have to feel guilty about it.

Answer 2

There is so much guilt with parenting isn't there? Your little boy is going to be fine. The important thing is you knew he was safe, and he's learning that he doesn't always need you to soothe himself. It takes time, and there will be nights where it feels like you're taking steps backwards. I personally don't put a lot of stock in what the "experts" say, I go by instinct. You obviously did alright because he's sleeping through the night, and he's happy.

Answer 3

You're fine....I've used the Ferber Method all along and there's nothing wrong with my 7-month old. However, some children do better when they can see you, some do better when they can only hear you, and some do better with it when they can't see or hear you(my son)....try each one of these to see what works best....though from the sounds of things, it seems like your son is fine now and you need not worry....if he cries in the middle of the night, just poke your head in and don't say or do anything--just make sure he is not caught in the bars of his crib or something.

Answer 4

This is not an exact science- the Ferber method is one guy's opinion. If your child is happy and sleeping well, that is what counts. Congratulations on your whole nights of sleep!

Answer 5

i did that with my son too, i never went in there to sooth him because i did it the first week or so and he would get even more mad, so i just let him be. but before i did this i made sure he ate had a clean diaper, wasnt teething or sick. he will be fine it just takes alot of time and patients good luck

Answer 6

When he wakes up and starts crying then walk into his room and stand next to his crib and gently rub his back and softly talk to him. He needs to learn how to soothe himself to sleep and picking him up won't help that. It's fine if you let him cry, but it's also fine to sing/talk to them softly or rub their backs to help soothe them. Good luck.

Answer 7

not it wont hurt but dont let him cry so much it will make him sick