Do you think it would be ok to not have a labor coach?

Question

My husband and I split in my 4th month. He is still involved with my preganacy and wants to be my coach. But, I just don't feel comfortable with him anymore. I don't want to be even more tense in the labor room than I have to be. I won't be able to relax if he is the one taking care of me because, there is just too much resentment there. So, my delima is I have no one else. I have been thinking about not have a coach at all. Has anyone out there ever done that before?

Answer 1

I had someone in my delivery room that I did not want there. I will ALWAYS regret it. My husband and I are planning to get pregnant again in spring and when I deliver it will just be him and I. You need to do what is best for YOU. Worry about YOUR feelings, no one else. If you don't want him in the room that is your choice and it's perfectly fine. He can come see the baby after you and the baby get cleaned up. The nurses and hospital staff will be there to help you and take care of you every step of the way...that is what they are there for. Good luck!!

Answer 2

The most important thing is for you to feel comfortable while having your baby. If you won't be comfortable with your ex there, then tell him just that. In my experience, labor-and-delivery nurses are very empathetic and will be able to help you through your labor. You may want to consider bringing a friend with you for support, though. Maybe ask a female relative, or a close friend- especially someone who has already given birth. Whatever you decide, good luck and congratulations on your baby!

Answer 3

It is perfectly alright not to have a coach. I didn't with my first baby at all the nurses are there to help you all the way. If you let them know that you need help when you get there, they will be more than willing to help you. However as hard as it may be to have your ex there, I would let him be at the hospital (in the waiting room) while you give birth. It will mean a lot to him and it will mean a lot to your child when the baby grows up. You can do it girl...(If you can, get the epidural...I was able to enjoy the whole labor process because I wasn't in so much pain...)

Answer 4

I am so sad for you. Yes, it will be okay, because the nurses in the birthing center are so helpful. I have had four children and the nurses are fabulous. My husband was there and I needed him (of course, then he left when the last one was five months old). If this isn't your first then just ignore this b/c you already know that once you get in there, you could care less who is in there with you. The baby is coming and you are excited and hurting and that is all that matters so you might consider letting him come, but if you don't want to, then don't. Good luck

Answer 5

Sounds like a hard decision. Personally I wouldn't try to go through labor without someone there to support me. But I definitely wouldn't want someone who made the labor worse and more stressful. If you are thinking of going natural it almost seems impossible with no one there, but if you are going to have an epideral anyway it might be possible with the help of the nurses and hospital staff. It also depends on who your health care professional is, if you have a doctor they'll probably just want to show up for the delivery only. But if you have a midwife especially one with an assistant they may be be able to be present throughout the labor to give you support as well as deliver the baby. You may want to consider calling the labor and delivery nurses at the hospital you will be going to and asking them, they may be able to provide someone to stay with you during your labor like a CNA or Medical Assistant. But without someone to support you you are more likely to have complications leading to a C-Section.

Answer 6

This all depends on how you handle stress. I am fortunate that my husband and I are together. Though I love him dearly, there are somethings I didn't need him right there for. He wanted to be, to help me through, but it was enough for me that he was sitting on the couch. I handle physical pain much better on my own if I can focus on what I need to without other distractions. If you feel you need someone there, not necessarily as a coach, but just as an emotional support, I would ask a family member/girl friend to be there. Ultimately, it is your decision. All you have to do is tell the hospital staff and they will reinforce your decision. Good luck.

Answer 7

If you are taking the birthing classes or are going to take them you do not have to use your husband as your coach. Ask your instructor if she knows any one who would volunteer to be your coach. A friend or relative can be your coach. I was my daughters coach. Her husband was a wuss. Tell your husband you don't want him in the room. You are the one doing the labor so do whatever makes you the most comfortable.

Answer 8

My husband was there for delivery, but really didn't do a lot of "coaching." I had an epidural and knowledgeable doctors, so everything went smoothly without a need for a coach.
If you're nervous about not having a coach, you can hire a doula who will make sure you're taken care of before and after delivery.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Having a baby is one of the most stressful things you can go through, and you really ought to have someone in your corner -- someone you trust implicitly and feel at ease with. Is there really no one you can ask -- your mother, a best (girl) friend, older sister who's been there before? If not, I'd go with the other recommendation of a doula. Certainly you can go it alone, but know that you don't have to.....

Answer 10

You don't really need a coach that is what the Nurses and Doctor is there for. However it would be nice to have someone there for you when you give birth, I know you and him have split but don't you think he should be there for the birth of your child? Where do you live, i will be there for you. :)