This person seems to make a point of not giving me what I want, has shown a certain propensity for self-centeredness and is hypersensitive to my disagreements. She has also put me on the spot when I am in the more vulnerable position in order to punish me for my disagreement (a disagreement in which I had the better argument, meaning that she couldn't refute it intellectually). But here's the thing. She shows some discomfort when doing it, like she's unable to face me directly when doing it. For example, if we were in the same room, she'd have to go do something on the end opposite to me right after putting me on the spot. It is easier for her to be cold and mean over the phone or in a social setting where she's in control and there are other people. In a more personal plane she can be nasty but when I react by leaving she tries to make amends. We had an educational relationship and she was never unfair grades-wise but she played some mean waiting games. I don't know what to think.
2006-08-28 06:28:56 · 17 answers · asked by nogallina 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
No, that's not narcissm,where in somebody loves and cares for herself literally. She's just being , selfish, self-centered,stubborn in her beliefs, cold, mean, and a control freak. So look for another friend who will be more considerate and kind; and open to new ideas.
2006-08-28 07:08:42 · answer #1 · answered by rosieC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you have it pretty much sewn up no matter what anyone has to say either way... That's a pretty elaborate supposition you've got there...
Personally, I don't believe that there is anything wrong with this dynamic if you are the more intelligent one and don't drag it into a name calling, blame game, shouting match to establish dominant positions over nothing for no good reason.
We alleviate the inner stress triggers in each other by play, as in interaction between people. Maybe she does it to you because you made her feel safe in that she CAN do it with you? Maybe the backing off is recognition of guilt? There are hundreds of ways to pick apart a chicken, but its still a chicken...
It is the way of the world and it is how we relate to one another... From your description, I can see how you also have these narcissistic tendencies and we all come into contact in life with those we most need learn from of our OWN conditions through our observations of it in others.
You seem okay and maybe she isn't. Do it back to her but do it respectfully and tactfully. That'll teach her and THAT... is the point.
2006-08-28 06:41:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This person was your teacher or prof and no longer is, but you're still hanging around and taking her apparent abuse... I don't get it. I think you enjoy the arguments but you want her to admit when you're right without getting huffy. That won't happen. It doesn't make her narcissistic, just a typical educated person who is supposed to be of higher status than you and is not ego free. I suggest you either quit arguing with her or quit complaining.
2006-08-28 06:41:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being so analitical about people most people are pessimistic because they expect the worse and hope for the best in people because people let us down all the time.
2006-08-28 06:34:14 · answer #4 · answered by la ruesh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a manipulative bee-atch. Let her go, and find someone who is kind and respectful of you! You deserve better!
2006-08-28 06:32:26 · answer #5 · answered by ndtaya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
narcissism is a character flaw so u should look up what traits those people have. She might just be immature and or insecure.
2006-08-28 06:32:20 · answer #6 · answered by K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, BUT YOU ARE FOR REFUSING TO SEE BEYOND YOUR OWN PERSPECTIVE.
YOU ARE CHOOSING TO FEEL LIKE A VICTIM OF HER ABUSE, AND YOU ACT LIKE THE WORLD SHOULD CATER TO YOU.
YOU ARE COMPALINING BECAUSE YOU FEEL PERSECUTED. GROW UP. THAT IS NARCISSISTIC.
TRY SHOWING SOME EMPATHY. SHOW CONSIDERATION FOR HER PERSPECTIVE, AND SHOW ACCEPTANCE FOR HER PERCEPTION.
NOT EVERYONE THINKS JUST LIKE YOU DO. DEAL WITH IT.
2006-08-28 07:45:47 · answer #7 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who gives a **** if she's narcissistic. you are co-dependant if you are going to put up w/ all that. It doesn't always have to be so much work. go find a fun chick. they are everywhere.
2006-08-28 06:37:50 · answer #8 · answered by nobudE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow...you know alot about this persons wicked side...
if you are that uncomfy- start making plans to step back now.
if you accept this person good bad and UGLY- then accept it and learn to love it- I guess...
Good luck with all that!
:-)
2006-08-28 06:34:43 · answer #9 · answered by wutta-croc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she's just a ______.
Put what ever you feel suits her best in the blank!
2006-08-28 07:21:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋