To make matters worse, he won't even compromise or meet you half way.
2006-08-28 06:21:49 · 15 answers · asked by hrmom02 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm more than qualified to answer this one because my spouse and I have never, NEVER been on the same page about anything. We couldn't have a casual conversation without her turning it into an argument. I think it's time for you and he to part ways. Hopefully, there are no kids involved, like in my case. I now live 400 miles away from her. I stayed in the picture for almost 30 years because I wanted my kids to have both parents. I tried to be civil whenever possible and never confront or disrespect her in front of the kids...even though she always (and still does) try to provoke me whenever they're around.
Life is too short and one way to stay with someone who makes you miserable. You don't need help to be miserable. Take the reins and enjoy your life with or without him.
2006-08-28 06:33:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Share common goals? WOW common goals. Each one of in life have goals but they are not anyone Else's goal. Sometimes we have family goals and those are shared.
Would be nice if you told us what those goals are. If you had a goal to have breast implants he might not want the same goal as you.
Little more info would be good. Also sounds like you don't want to compromise either.
2006-08-28 13:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A start is to sit down and have a conversation where you both understand what life goals are important to each of you. Then, you can both start to decide how to get each of you to those goals.
Of course, before you engage him in this kind of thing... you need to evaluate your own position. So you don't get into a power struggle over who's right, make sure you know what it is you're wanting AND WHY you want it.
The real question is how do you reach those goals together.
2006-08-28 13:36:36 · answer #3 · answered by Shaman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you would really need sometime to get together and talk about it. Having common life goals is something that holds your marriage together (along with the same love for god). I would try to talk it out together. Maybe handle on issue a week, if that does not work maybe some counseling.
2006-08-28 13:25:36 · answer #4 · answered by Tazaor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Compromise goes both ways, but when it come to issues like kids vs. no kids, there is very little you can do to please both parties if their opinions differ--not like you can have half a kid or something. Common "life goals" usually apply to a topic like children. Bottom line: if the issue is children, neither of you is giving in to the other's opinion, so he probably feels just as indignant.
2006-08-28 13:31:47 · answer #5 · answered by djm3452004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is when you sit down, and take his hand, and say, "Honey, I desperately need you to talk with me, and listen to me. I am afraid I am losing you, and I want to know what to do? I am scared." Men like to rescue women, so need rescuing!!!! Almost every marriage has this problem sooner or later. Are you just trying to find a way out? If not, then you really MUST communicate with him. Do you really want him to meet you half way? Then, you need to meet HIM half way, too. Start talking, girl.
2006-08-28 13:27:01 · answer #6 · answered by lcamel2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with others who have said to try counseling. I have also heard counselors say that even if one spouse will not go to counseling, it often helps when one goes. So you might try that if he's not willing to go. (I'm just going on a hunch that if he won't meet you half-way on making goals, he probably won't be willing to go to counseling. I hope I'm wrong.) Good luck.
2006-08-28 13:30:16 · answer #7 · answered by cldb730 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't give enough information. However, IMHO
1. you can't change your spouse, and if you can convince them to change it will take a while
2. Having common goals is only a big deal if you make it one; ask yourself how important this really is to you.
2006-08-28 13:27:18 · answer #8 · answered by Fat Daddy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is 50/50.......and we all have different goals in life, but, on the other hand if he isn't supportive of your goals, and I am going to assume you are of his, then it is time for a reality check. If you are not supporting him on the other hand, then you can't really expect much of him either.
2006-08-28 13:27:42 · answer #9 · answered by dixiegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe set some new goals ones you can get to together. after all you are a team
2006-08-28 13:33:45 · answer #10 · answered by ms01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋