What should i do?

Question

Today at school, i lost my temper which was up already due to my brother. But this dude pushed me and i got upset. Whenever i get upset i have to do something like, well it used to be cutting but i am trying to stop. So now i scream, or cry. I can't use a rumber band because i snap it hard untill i bleed, i can't have long nails cauSe i will scratch myself till i bleed. So i had to go home so i ditched my last two classes and half way home i broke down. I couldn't stop crying. What should i do? i can't deal with conselors, i can't tell my friends, i don't know what to do...?

i am a yellow belt, i had to stop due to financial problemas. But i can take care of myself. I just don't like to hurt people

i am actually 16

Answer 1

my suggestion, is to learn to calm down. ther'es nothing wrong w/ confrontation, as long as u do it in a rational manner. for example, i would be pissed too if someone pushed me. usually i would get all this attitude and be like, "EXCUSE ME?????" and if he was rude, i'd walk off and say "dumba** mother*****".... not that cussing is good, but i'm just saying.

but cutting or hurting Yourself is NOT the answer... the thing is , u cannot control ANYONE to do what u want, or what u think is right. but u CAN control yourself! so, u can try not to get angry. u can try not to hurt yourself. it's not going to change the fact that yes, someone did push you. but either way, wouldn't u rather handle it in a way where u didn't have to hurt yourself?? =T

talking to a counselor may help you... not because you are crazy or messed up, but because sometimes other people who are trained or went to school, can give u different ideas of how to handle ur stress and frustrations. obviously right now u are not sure of how to handle it on your own..and that's ok. just keep searching and learning HOW to do it in a Positive, Healthy manner for yourself. if that means yelling out "jerk", or "exCuuuuse me!" or complaining to a friend...anything that u can do that will not hurt yourself or anyone else.

remember to seek what is Good, Positive, Healthy and Happy in your life. who cares about that guy that pushed you? he is not ur friend, he is not someone u care about. you need to care about Yourself. put all that energy, emotions that you have, and use it for something Good! :) u can do it. concentrate on increasing ur Happiness, Healthiness, Positivity, instead of the letting the negative hurt, anger and rage get the best of you. there is no good that will come out of it, and u will hate urself even more because u are festering this negativity. if u concentrate on Positive things.. like being calm, not letting things get to u as much, perhaps this guy pushing u will be NOTHING, will not ruin ur day, etc etc. Life is unfair, but that doesnt' mean u have to let it ruin ur life. u Can make a difference in how you see things, in how u act and react to situations. the more proud of urself u are, the more healthy ur life is, the more Happy you are, the better u will be able to cope w/ bad things that happen in life. it's ok, everyone goes thru that crap! but u don't want to be one of those people who can't handle yourself. u want to be a Strong, Confident, Happy woman who can take care of herself, and her brother, family, etc. u want to be a Healthy example for your brother right? take care of urself, and take small steps. if u don't feel comfortable talking to adults or counselors just yet, try to do it on ur own. but remember to surround urself w/ Positive, Good, Healthy, and Happy things; if something makes u upset, angry, annoyed, mad, sad, those are negative things and u have to distance urself. dont' worry, u don't have to always like what is going on in ur life (ie someone pushing u, or making u mad, or injustices), but u CAN control how you REACT to it. good luck and stay positive. life is GReAT if u seek what is Great....the negatives are there, but it's not what's gonna matter in the future.

take care of urself, and stay h ealthy~

Answer 2

I'm just going to try a few guesses for you that might help:

Have you been told that it is wrong to be angry? Well, that is not true. Anger is a valid emotion, and you have the right to feel anger. You do need to be careful of how you express it or you will push people away. At the same time, you need to express your feelings and communicate your boundaries in a reasonable way or else you will be walked on.

Have you been led to believe that you don't matter as much as other people around you? That's what you tell yourself when you hurt yourself the way you do. You also tell that to yourself by not being assertive and sticking up for yourself when you should. Every person is priceless, and that includes YOU. You need to treat yourself like that.

You might have a lot of unresolved anger if you are exploding the way in which you describe. Try to find out where it is coming from. Try not to explode at the person who you discover to be in the wrong (remember are in the wrong too for not sticking up for yourself when you should have). Start setting some boundaries in your life as to how you will/won't let yourself be treated and stick to them. Family members can be the toughest people to train in this, and in order to keep peace you might have to be the bigger person and keep your cool, while sticking to your guns.

Another thing. You sound like a very passionate personality. Do you have a creative outlet for it? It doesn't matter what it is as long as you enjoy it.

Good luck.

Answer 3

It sounds like you have a real problem here. I want you to know, you're not alone. Always remember, you're not alone. I used to be angry much like you. Everyone has to find their own solution for their own problems because everyone is different. For me, sports worked. I enrolled in a Karate class. I was able to work out problems, build my self-esteem, and beat up my classmates in sparring matches. The best part was beating up classmates. I could imagine the people I was mad at, and I could take my frustration out.

If you can't afford a martial arts or boxing class, running helps. Just throw on some tennis shoes and run. I'm in college now, and I can barely afford anything. When I get mad or frustrated, I run. I always feel better when I get home.

You don't have to tell anyone. You don't have to talk about it. But do try something. Life is hard, but worth it if you stick in there.

P.s. long hot baths/showers help too. ; )

Answer 4

i can't say i know exactly where you're coming from - but if it ain't the same house, it's definitely in the same neighborhood. having to lie to my friends and coworkers and husband about getting clawed by my cat was pretty hard.

rage is the top level of sadness and grief - sometimes it's the psyche's first and easiest reaction. it's more acceptable in some cases to be furious and full of rage than to acknowledge feeling weak and powerless. and sometimes it's a combination of sadness, grief, and lousy brain chemistry that makes coping almost impossible.

the only thing i can suggest is something you've already written off - counseling. sometimes it takes a few different counselors; i have had a couple i would never want to see again, not even in a freaking restaurant. and sometimes it might take a while for a counselor to work out what's going on and how to help you.

please please please try to find a counselor you can trust.

and in the meantime you can email these people: [e-mail]. technically they're there to help prevent suicide, but they really helped me when i needed it - they're amazing. totally nonjudgemental, and it's completely anonymous.

i wish i could do more to help.

wishing you peace.

Answer 5

I just have to say first off that NO ONE, male or female, should put their hands on you without your permission. Whether it is sexual harassment or, in your case, physical altercations, you should not allow it. I know telling a teacher about that can seem daunting (believe me, I've been in your shoes!), but do not allow it to happen again. I'm not condoning violence, but the more time you waste not telling anyone about it, the worse it'll be.

That said, I agree with the other posters. It is very brave of you to recognize this, and you need to do something about that. Talk to counselors, your parents, your friends, or even their parents or older siblings. Just don't let yourself get deeper into depression. There are definitely ways to get help, and you are NOT ALONE! There are millions of others who suffer from the same thing, and who I bet are also willing to help you.

Good luck!

Answer 6

You must remember that there is nothing in this world that is worth hurting yourself over. Letting someone into your world is the first step and you have done that by asking this question. It also shows that you realize that you have a problem. Many people will do things that are thoughtless or outright hurtful, but only you can decide how you respond to these hateful people. Your actions show a feeling of powerlessness in your given situation, so try to think back on when you decided that hurting yourself was the proper response to this powerless feeling. You have to make the decision that taking your aggressions out on yourself is wrong.

Answer 7

Most people are going to sugest counseling as am I BUT if you feel you are not ready to talk to anyone in your life about your problem I understand. Try to remain calm at all times. Impossible I know. When you get worked up go in the bathroom at school and chill for about 5 - 10 minutes it will make you late but you wont be ditching totally either. While in the bathroom take several deep slow breaths... think of good things but NOT CUTTING. Picture all the crap flowing out of you as you concentrate on these deep breaths and visualize it going out the bathroom door down the hall and outside. Sounds weird but it works trust me. Bathrooms may be too crowded sneak into the audio visual room anywhere you can be alone for a few minutes to relax. Just remember the same thing can be done with visualation as what you did with cutting you made a hole and let it out. Now just do it in your mind....coupled with the relaxation techniques it can help you...till you are ready to talk to someone, or you can beat it on your own. either way it cant hurt to try

Answer 8

You need to see a doctor.
I'm imagining you're around 13 or 14 because this is right around the time when adolescents are having major hormone changes.
I know its hard to take, but you really need to talk to someone.
If you're afraid to tell your parents, I would see if you can call the Dr's office and try to talk to the Dr over the phone.
I recommend you call today, do not put it off.
You are very normal, but you may need medicine to level your brain chemicals.
Good luck!

Answer 9

Don't do Drugs unless you have a pescription... Try a new hobby or stress release stragety..even TM which is a way to sit and think to relax yourself... research self help methods..I used to kick cans to release my anger..be good to yourself you only have one life and you can control and make it whatever you want it to be..have trust and believe in yourself..the power of your mind may exceed your expectations know what your goals are and don't settler for less.. Take care and good luck.!

Answer 10

You're going to have to talk to someone. You can't solve your problems without help. Try talking with your parents or maybe you can talk to one of your favourite/trusted teachers at school. They'd be more than willing to help you and talk to you. It's probably not the advice you want to hear but it's the best thing to do.

Answer 11

I think you may need professional help with this problem that you will not be able to receive from this forum. Try to talk to your counselors or your parents about getting some real help. Write it down and let them read it if the words won't come out.

Take care and good luck to you.