My friend has been dating this one guy for 2 months now. He is friends with my boyfriend and we (without her) went to check a hog trap and he said that their relationship might not last very long. He was thinking of ending it with her. So i spent the next few days trying to convince her to break up with him. She wanted to work it out. So finally i told her the whole story. She broke up with him and has been in a depression ever since. She is on zoloft already, and it obviously isn't worknin. And she turns the smallest little things into a big deal. She saw him driving down the road (they live down the street from each other) and she freaked. How can i help her to get over him and to get over the drama queen act. I can't totally express how dramatic she is over the internet, you just have to meet her to know how bad it is. It is really bad. I am getting so frusterated and i don't know what to do. All she wants to do is get drunk. I don't like drinking that much. How can i help her?
2006-08-28 05:40:32 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I wish it was as simple as another guy, but i forgot to add, she tends to scare them off. She talks about her ex's too much. She talks about depressing things. Guys don't really like her, and she is not that attractive. She eats all the time but does not gain an ounce. She is all bones. its kinda gross. But she is my best and only friend pretty much, so i really want to help her with this problem and her attitude. She is a senior in high school and hates it. I am graduated and i hate it when she brings her high school drama to my apartment. I really don't care who she sits by and the reason she don't like that person. I am over all that and she acts as though she is a freshman in high school (no offense to the little fish) I am going to tell her today what is on my mind and i can only hope that it helps her in some way. My mom even feels like this too. My mother thinks she needs help too. How do i tell her how i feel without being rude. Or should i be rude. We have been friends for 5yr
2006-08-28 05:52:59 · update #1
I'm going to be an @$$ and say that it was a mistake to tell her to break up with him. But now that it's done, you have to do something, if at least to make up for your mistake.
You have to find her a guy who will sweep her off her feet. Literally. He has to be such an amazing and fun guy that she would have left her ex in a heartbeat to be with him. And he has to be willing to put up with her drama until she decides of her own accord that it isn't the right thing for her. He also has to be willing to stay with her for as long as she's happy with him.
I'm sorry if a guy like that is hard to find, but your friend is in a really bad place. If she's already resorted to drinking and drugs (prescription or otherwise) she's only going to get worse.
Of course, you could also try to convince her ex to come back to her, although I think you have better chances of finding the perfect guy.
It was a mistake to tell her to break up with him. It's too long to explain, but you have to trust me on this. If a guy talks about wanting to break up with the girl when she's not around, you have to act as if he didn't say anything. If the breakup happens, he has to be the one to do it.
I recommend you let your friend go for a while. Don't go drinking with her. Invite her to do some recreational activities like sports or a nature hike, far from other guys and places where her ex might be. If she says no, then let her do her own thing. If you go drinking with her, or keep her company in her wallowing, you encourage her to keep doing it and you slow down the process of her recovery. You have to be strong and willing to say no. You really have to.
I wish you the best of luck with your friend. I hope she gets better soon :)
2006-08-28 05:54:03 · answer #1 · answered by Magina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off you need to sit down with friend and let her know how you feel. To be honest there isn't an nice way of saying "Get over it". Be honest with her and tell her how you feel
As far as the ex-boyfriend, she's in high school and that's normal. Break ups are hard, especially if you have feels for the person you were with. She needs to understand that there are other people out there and that he isn't the one. It takes a bit of time to get over it and the best way to do it is go out and have fun. Drinking isn't the answer for fun. Go out to the movies, check guys, shopping, just hanging with your friends. You two are friends and you two can help one another. But you have to talk it out first. Sit her down and get things in the open.
2006-08-28 07:29:15 · answer #2 · answered by shinuyugi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she needs to learn to love her and know that she can take care of herself without him. Have her say the things that she likes to herself and go to a 'special place' in her mind. In this place she says her self appreciations and then touch something in that place, i.e. rock, sand, something that she can really feel. That will help it to make a connection in her brain. If she doesn't believe what she tells herself at first--it may take some time--she will after awhile. As for her being a 'drama queen', these are her feelings, imagine how you'd feel--she will be dramatic for awhile until she gets over him.
Good luck!! Drinking is a depressant and is doing her no good--tell her this.
2006-08-28 05:47:02 · answer #3 · answered by Elizabeth S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have stayed out of it from the beginning. It was not your place to tell her what her ex boyfriend was planning. That was something that the two of them had to deal with. Had she come to you after the fact then you could have been there for her. But now I think it is something that she has to deal with. Just be a good friend and listen to her when she feels like talking. Don't give advice, comments or judgement. Your mom needs to keep her comments to herself as well.
2006-08-28 06:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by gemone523 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she needs professional help. That is a situation I would rather stay out of.
2006-08-28 05:47:08 · answer #5 · answered by smoke 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a really difficult situation to be in. Wanting to do something for a friend, n not knowing what to do. : (
I'm in the same situation.
Maybe you should ask someone that's qualified and knows what he/she's talking about.
Don't worry. Pray for her, n things will improve.
2006-08-28 05:44:58 · answer #6 · answered by Honey 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Find her another guy....you messed her up anyway!! But seriously get her to talk with the guy for him to explain himself well to her..so that her feeling are assuaged !! But find her a date quick!!!
2006-08-28 05:49:15 · answer #7 · answered by kydexa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were honest about her boyfriend, you can be honest about how YOU feel. Tell her exactly what your thoughts are, and make her listen to you. Besides, it was only two months!!
2006-08-28 05:44:13 · answer #8 · answered by Short and sweet 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is drinking and taking zoloft she is just going to get more deprest.
2006-08-28 05:44:41 · answer #9 · answered by amanda 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
friends are wonderful to have but if it were me i would stay out of it. the only thing you are doing is putting yourself in the middle.
if it doesn't work out between them then it doesn't work out. it's not like he is the only male out there
2006-08-28 05:48:15 · answer #10 · answered by Remona R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋