he is never controlling and he doesnt ever tell me what i can and cant do, BUt I have this friend whos a mess. She just broke up with her boyfriend and has been sleeping around (a lot) and she started becoming bulemic and cutting herself. Shes like ,"Look at me! LOOK AT MEEEEE!" Like an attention getter. I think she will get over it soon if im there for her. I dunno. But she has been my friend for 7 years. But my husband says she is trouble for me now. We are supposed to go to the beach over night this weekend and hes b1tching about it. i cant goagainst my husbands wishes like that because i see it really bothers him. What do u think?
2006-08-28 05:22:47 · 36 answers · asked by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
OH, AND SHE DRINKS AND PARTIES HEAVILY 7 DAYS A WEEK.
2006-08-28 05:24:25 · update #1
No, he doesnt like her (GEEZE...) Shes not good looking! (sorry)
2006-08-28 05:27:20 · update #2
He cares about you and doesn't want you around any trouble she might attract or possibly draw you into.
I've known people like this. They're users. You want to "be there" for her. She sees you as cheap therapy - someone to unload her problems on and someone who will give her the sympathy she needs. Don't fall for it. As soon as you she wears you out, she'll look for another friend (read free therapist / enabler).
Try this and see if I'm right. Confront her and tell her she needs to be in therapy and that you won't hang around with her unless she gets some help. She'll drop you like a bad habbit.
I really hope the best for you.
2006-08-28 05:25:24 · answer #1 · answered by Salami and Orange Juice 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well it seems like she is putting stress on your husband and he is afraid that her selfish ways will somehow get you involved in doing something that you might regret. It sounds like your husband has a good head on his shoulders and is only looking out for your interest. What you have to ask yourself at the end of the day is this. Who am I sleeping with and who will utlimatly have my back. That will answer any question you might have on the subject. Your friend sounds like she is in a place right now that deserves some professional attention. Be supportive but at the same time run like hell!
2006-08-28 05:30:38 · answer #2 · answered by Karrien Sim Peters 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never go against your man's wishes. Just let your friend know that if she needs comforting that you will be there for her. But you have settled down now and you need to be with your family as well. Tell her you can't go party with her, but if she needs a shoulder that she can always lean on yours. Good luck and i know what you are going through. My friend is in the same position right now. Only, she don't cut or sleep around. (amazingly, she is still a virgin, So she just "messes" around)
2006-08-28 05:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's your husband, and so should have a pretty clear idea to what constitutes a threat to the peace or a waste of time. Attention seekers never let up or get over it, the best you can do is to say that she has to get over it, and before then you won't be seeing her. Someone did this to me. It made me realize that I had to get a life.
Hubby probably doesn't want you to pick up any bad habits either, so do what the man says.
2006-08-28 05:28:18 · answer #4 · answered by kruiskryger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs your help, but has to want the help. If she doesn't want to move on with life then you can't help her. Give her some time. Your husband is right, but going about it wrong. He needs to be patient with you and understand why you feel the way you do about your friend. But you need to understand that your husband doesn't want your friend's problems taking a toll on your marriage and specifically you. He doesn't want your friend to drag down you with her. That will hurt you and eventually your marriage. Try to limit your time helping your friend. But eventually you may have to leave her alone and make her find solutions for herself. One last I must tell you. If booze is in the mix there is always a high chance for trouble.
2006-08-28 05:35:49 · answer #5 · answered by jesus_lover1962 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U seem to be knowing the answer already n i.e. to stop hanging with the girl..that girl is ur friend for 7 years but if u really luv ur hubby n wanna spend ur rest of ur life with hin then these seven years r nothing...u can make 17 better years with ur loving husband
2006-08-28 05:32:45 · answer #6 · answered by homosapien 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing a long time friend in trouble and powerless to help is very difficult, however its really up to her to come to term with herself in order for her to get better.
From what you had described her behavior, she seems like an unstable gal at the moment and I have to support your husband's decision. It seems like hanging out with her at this time might get you in trouble too.
Your friend need a good counseling or a good friend talk instead of partying like crazy and having night beach runs, if you want to really be a good friend then you should sit her down and set her straight. Hanging out with her is not going to help her in any way.
Your husband is worry about your safety instead of disliking your friend. Your husband loves and concern about you, you should listen to him in this case.
2006-08-28 05:44:21 · answer #7 · answered by thsiung 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you friend need more then just a Friend she need professional help you should convince her to see a counselor or some other doctor. Maybe your husbands right you shouldn't go overnight (but maybe a day trip) you don't want to wake-up the next morning wondering and worrying about your Friend whom might not wake up in the same room as you.
2006-08-28 05:30:02 · answer #8 · answered by angie1412 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to be more proactive in this friendship. Instead of just "being there" for her, get her some help. She may need to go into rehab if she drinks herself into a stupor every night. She also needs counseling and possibly medication to deal Whit the bulimia and cutting. Don't go on a overnighter with her, she will just get drunk again, and you will have to clean up the mess.
2006-08-28 05:27:13 · answer #9 · answered by parental unit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to respect your husbands wishes in this matter. He is obviously concerned for you and it bothers him. Invite her over to your house and try to help her that way. If you are married you shouldnt be going out with a single person that drinks and parties so much.
2006-08-28 05:28:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋