When she undressess, I am completely and totally turned off by this. I have seriously considered looking elsewhere for sex. I've dropped hints that being grossly overweight is unhealthy, but she refuses to do anything about it. What am I to think other than she doesn't care enough to shape up?
2006-08-28 05:01:30 · 116 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Buddy i'm in the same boat. I have tried everything to get her to loose weight, nothing works. As far as sex goes, it feels the same in the dark, and I think about what she used to look like. I'm not about to leave her for another woman, because I love her. Still there are the thoughts of looking elsewhere. I have found that every woman has her own agenda. She is excited about having another woman's man, or she is looking for a sugardaddy, or she is giving it up in sympathy. Tread lightly there, and leave no footprints in the sand.
2006-08-28 05:12:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK first and foremost when you met her yeah she looked good. Did you expect that she will always and forever look the same? I have changed so much after having 2 kids, but my husband still loves me. My husband has also gained weight and I still love him. The thing is he still look like the same person that I met seven years ago. I just love him more each day. Did you only marry her for her looks?
What if you were to get in a accident that disfigured you some way. And your wife went elsewhere to look for sex how would you feel? Yes your body has changed, but she vowed to be there for you through sickness and health and till death do you part.
But now lets say she stay with you and love you and takes care of you. Because she still see the man she married years before. How would that make you feel?
2006-09-03 20:51:24 · answer #2 · answered by sweetlee725 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well from reading your question it seems that you have already made up your mind. If she refuses to do anything about her weight then there is nothing really that you can do. Maybe she is happy with how she looks. If this is the case then you should be too, if you truely love her, calling her fat is nor going to help, it will infact make matters worse. Try being more supportive of her. And as far as going somewhere else for sex go ahead, then im sure you will loose more weight then both of you need to when you catch AIDS. Sounds like you are the one with a problem, not her. She is apparently happy and content with who she is not what she is. You might want to take some tips from her.
2006-09-01 11:21:47 · answer #3 · answered by iamahotty36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the same problem with me.My wife is fat also.Her weight is 65 kgs while her height is only 155 cm.Her weight for ideal should be 55 kgs maximum.She is smaller now.Last year her weight ws 80 kgs.She has genetic obesity.Her parents and her sisters and brothers are obesity too.Besides that after having a blood test she has a genetic disease a diabetes melitus.Accor-
ding to my family doctor,someone who has a diabetes,wiil havea fat body.Their tastes are very big eating fatty meal such as cake
and coconut milky foods.My wife has a diet but she is still fatter than me.She eats daily medicines to decrease her glucose in her blood.
For your wife you must be patient.You must ask her for consult-
ing to a doctor to know why she has an obesity disease.She should have a diet and make a daily physical exercise for burning her exessive fat..If your wife has also a genetic obesity according
to my doctor,her decreasing weight will be slower than a normal one.You must reconsider your decision for looking other woman elsewhere for sex.You must take care her well because she has served you so many years and maybe you have had children too..Yes I agree with you that being grossly overweight is unhealthy.In order to convince your wife please as soon as possible you both consult to a doctor..Your doctor will give warnings to her a bad effect of obesity such as heart attacks,high blood tension,head ache etc and husband fleeing plus bad look shaping ..
2006-09-04 15:06:32 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really should talk to your wife about it and express to her how you are concerned for her well being. Be willing to help her and support her without making her feel bad or putting her on the defensive. It may be the way you've approached it in the past that she is not "doing anything" even though you've "dropped hints." Weight issues are very sensitive to most people especially women. Take walks with her. Make healthy dinners with her. Support her. Also, consider how you'd feel if she felt the same way about you and how you would like for her to talk to you about it. Losing weight is a completely different experience for men and women and it's approached differently. Most of all, be compassionate. You married her for who she is (hopefully) and maybe if you focus on that you can find some way to help motivate her. Losing weight (or the need to lose weight) is a very very personal issue and it only works best when you have loving support.
2006-08-28 05:11:12 · answer #5 · answered by LeoQT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's depressed because of the way you treat her. Perhaps if you suggested working out with her, and showing her some support and love she will be more likely to want to lose the weight too. But from what I have read, you truly don't love her. If you did, it wouldn't matter what she looked like - you would be more supportive and try helping her to feel confident and not insecure about herself. If you are not happy with her and you're considering going elsewhere to meet your needs, then perhaps you should just separate and get a divorce. Might be a good alternative for her as well.
2006-09-03 04:51:38 · answer #6 · answered by starling_night614 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think she doesn't care about her appearance? She is unhappy about something. I would even think it was related to sex and men in some way. Is she trying to be unattractive on purpose? and maybe she doesn't even realize it? Could it be a hormonal prob.? Is she hiding from her own sexuality for some reason? Does she even really want to have sex, anymore? I seriously doubt that it is just plain laziness. Make her a doctors appointment. Get her the help she needs for herself, so she can be happy.
I was reading some of the other responses and I had to add this to mine....What is a guy supposed to do if his wife doesn't want to be attractive to him anymore? And, yes it is a choice at this point. She obviously has not taken any steps to improve the situation. I do not think you can change what turns you on intentionally...it is what it is! I am not saying that she needs to lose weight to be attractive, just to be attractive to her hubby.
btw...I am a 40 yr old female!
2006-09-03 03:42:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just by the way you talk about your wife ina public forum, I think the reason she gained weight is you. If you dog her about her looks and put her down, she may just decide to show you what really fat is. You aren't her cheerleader, than you are her tormentor. You can't be both. If you love this woman that you made a commitment to, show her. I'm sure you aren't perfect, and maybe making love to you isn't such a turn on for her either. You have some nerve even thinking about cheating on your wife, just because she has gained weight. Remember the vows, "For better or for worse." Don't you think that would apply to this situation. You need to grow up. If you would even consider about cheating because of her weight, you weren't ready to get married in the first place. Sensitivity and compassion go a long way to make a woman want to be attractive for their man. You don't deserve that respect.
2006-08-28 05:25:25 · answer #8 · answered by Rhoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really ticks me off because you are probably no prize yourself. Instead of dropping hints maybe you should be a man about things. Maybe you guys can go for walks together or start eating more healthy. It isn't that she doesn't care about being healthy it is so hard to diet. Some peoples will power is stronger than others.
Before you cheat you need think about the vows you have taken and if it still doesn't matter, then you need to divorce her. Cause cheating is not the way to go.
2006-09-03 06:26:51 · answer #9 · answered by Wahenie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating isn't going to make her lose weight. If anything, if she finds out, she will eat more out of depression and severe betrayal by her husband.
You need to get to the root of WHY she has put on weight. Has she had children? Have you stopped being affectionate? Have you stopped telling her she is beautiful to you? Maybe she has a medical problem ie thyroid, kidney, liver? If she is depressed she needs to see someone to figure out why she is depressed. Have her go to the doctor.
Stop dropping hints and come straight out and tell her how you feel. If she refuses to do anything about her weight, and you really can't get past her appearance and there is no medical reason for her weight gain, then separate and get a divorce.
Who knows, maybe the shock of hearing you suggest a divorce might be just want she needs to jump start her desire to lose weight? If that is the case, stand by her and encourage her.
BTW - Has your appearance not changed since you got married?
2006-08-28 05:13:30 · answer #10 · answered by I love my husband 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋