I'm about a year or so out of a 10 year marriage. My previous marriage ended in an affair (my wife met someone else). I currently have a live-in GF, who I love dearly, and who would like for me to propose. We've been living together for 3 months. Thus far, things are wonderful, but I still feel a bit hurt by the previous break up, and I'm not really ready to "jump in" again. How long should I give myself to "recover" from this sense of betrayal? I really don't want my GF to feel like she's waiting in vain...
Thnx in advance - SF
2006-08-28 05:00:22 · 11 answers · asked by sandspur_321 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only you can know. You have had a cooling period, and you have found happiness again. If you are a loving person, and have loved, it is easier to find love again. SOme people fall in love easier than others and are better in relationships. My Grandparents were married for 51 years, very happily. My Grandma died and my Grandpa was devastated. He met a woman in his grief group and he remarried within a year. He loves being in love and having someone to come home to. If she makes you happy and you see a future, why not??
2006-08-28 05:07:23 · answer #1 · answered by Smilingcheek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you should have never moved in together and second why do you want to do this again? You should stay single for very long times enjoy life being on your own its all right to be alone. I have been married for 26 years and if anything ever happen to our marriage, I know that I would like to spend some time alone without a partner. Moreover, do the things that I could not do when I was with him. I think you should tell her to move out you need your space and that you need some time to heal on your own its only obvious that you are just not ready for a serious commitment do this now before you make any other mistakes with her.
2006-08-28 06:06:17 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will know when it is time to remarry. As you know, marriage is a HUGE deal and if you're not sure, don't do it yet. It'll just lead to more heartache later. If your gf is as wonderful as you say she is, she will understand it when you tell her that you do love her, but you are not ready yet. If you feel you will be ready in the future, tell her. It's only been a year and it'll take some time to deal with it especially if you haven't dealt with it previously (like ignored it and jumped into another relationship). Just be straight with her. Any compassionate woman will understand. Just don't make her any promises you are not sure you can keep. Then it's not fair to her.
2006-08-28 05:08:11 · answer #3 · answered by T.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should wait until you are ready because if your not your gf will end up getting hurt. Talk to your gf and let her know that you still need time to heal so that you can be a better man for her.You know in your heart that it takes time to heal from a divorce.I hope that your gf will understand and if she does not then she really don't love you.Some people are in love with the ideal of being married and not willing to put in the effort to keep it.
2006-08-28 05:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by missmadhatter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It funny how we usually answer our own questions. "not ready to jump in again, a bit hurt over the last relationship and I'm really not ready." When you no longer feel any of these feelings, you'll then be ready. Don't let anybody hurry the process up. It take time.
2006-08-28 05:07:40 · answer #5 · answered by Ellen J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt get remarried, why get married again after the experience from the first marriage? But if you think that this next person is the one for sure than yeah get remarried, but keep in mind from the experiences in the last marriage!
2006-08-28 05:41:04 · answer #6 · answered by smile114 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think that 3 months is long enough to know someone well enough to marry them. You should give it a little longer. Not only to get over your ex, but to get it a little more time with the new girl. Good Luck, you're braver than I am, I never want to remarry!
2006-08-28 05:05:01 · answer #7 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorces are rough. Talk to her and let her know how much she means to you. Let her know your fears about remarrying. Talking can open new doors. DO NOT set period goals. Don't say "Lets get married in 4 years".
2006-08-28 05:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the easiest way to forget your past is forgiveness once you forgive your ex you'll feel better.u feel like you're not ready coz u still have hatred in your hearts.but once you let it go then you'll be ready for your new life with your girlfriend....it's time for you to move on forget your past and face the future
2006-08-28 05:09:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone heals differently. When you are ready you will know. If she is not willing to accept this then maybe it is not meant to be.
2006-08-28 05:07:04 · answer #10 · answered by not meant to be tamed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋