My in-laws hate me and don't call the house they call his cell phone and they knew I was going away for the day they called the house it was on the caller id and he planned it to go there with my son and lied about where he was going until I called in to see how my son was doing he told me where he was.
2006-08-28 04:59:30 · 15 answers · asked by fungirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
His family is sneeky and nuts. His mother basically cut off her nose to spite her face when it came to my son and totally wrote him off for two months!!! He is only 18 months old I dont want him to have to go through her psychoness again
2006-08-28 05:07:52 · update #1
Ugh!!! Honey, I know how you feel. I have psycho inlaws too that tell me that I stole their baby from them and his little sister hates me because I "stole her best friend"...
Just tell him....YOU are his family now too.....they either have to accept BOTH of you, or none of you....This is what my husband and I told them.....Its all or none and you cant have just one of us.....WE are a family now and thats the way you have to take it.....
Especially if you have a child together.....I have a son as well and they wanted just my husband and son to come over...I said absolutley NOT! Its all or none....and thats the way it should be...
I hope things turn around for you and that they see that they are being idiots!
2006-08-28 05:17:47 · answer #1 · answered by Jenna D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say why your in-laws hate you. But whatever the situation may be, lying is not a good characteristic to have. You need to address this issue with your husband and tell him how much it bothers you. Spouses have the right to visit their blood-related families but also the responsbility to respect their husband/wife if there is something wrong going on. Why don't you want your son to see his father's side of the family? Is there more to the story than what you have written? You have the right to be upset when your spouse lies to you and you have to the right to confront him on it. Ask him what was going through his mind and why did he lie to you? What is he afraid of? I found out last month that sometimes my husband is afraid to tell me certain things because I may blow up in frustration and anger and he doesn't like it. I need to act more like an adult - and I have been working on that. But maybe your husband feels the same way - I don't know. But talk to him about his feelings as well as yours.
2006-08-28 05:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by wonderwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is his family. Sure they may be ***'s and completely wrong in how they treat you but nothing will ever change that they are family. The mommy versus wife war never works out for the wife, sorry honey. Maybe he didn't tell you because he was just trying to keep everyone happy. He is in a tough situation. And unless you son is in any physical danger while he is there, he will eventually resent you for keeping him from his grandparents. Come to a truce, work it out that you dont bad mouth them to your son and they don't talk about you when he is around. Tell your husband you are upset and that you to need to come up with something so that he doesn't feel forced to lie.
2006-08-28 05:07:24 · answer #3 · answered by Jep 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's his family, it's his family. You can't force him to not have anything to do with them. Maybe you should try to make amends with the family so that you all can visit occasionally and your son can see his grandparents and your husband can see his parents without it being behind your back. If you choose not to do that, accept the fact that your husband has every right to visit his family, and since your son is also a part of him, has a right to take him with him. It may not make you happy, and it's not right that he did that behind your back, but it was probably the only option so that you didnt 'allow' him to go or to take your son.
2006-08-28 05:31:22 · answer #4 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one, I myself am in the same situation. My husband's family is the most back-stabbing, two-faced people you will ever meet. He, however, knows it. He has told them all where to go and how fast to get there. I understand your husband's actions, because of course, he still loves his family as my husband does. But, on the other hand, if you have tried to be nice and get along with them and they won't let you, then he has to put his foot down because YOU and the baby are his family now.........Good luck......you are gonna need it.........and by the way, one answer I read says the wife never wins in the mother verses wife battle.......that isn't true.....my husband hasn't spoken with his mother in 2 1/2 half years because she back-stabbed me......so there is hope.
2006-08-28 05:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by dixiegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband isn't helping with the situation at all, it is not fair to you. Tell him how you feel, maybe you guys can figure out why the in laws don't like you (hate is such a harsh word). He souldn't have lied about where he was going but he probably did that so you wouldn't get hurt. I would make it a point to go out of my way to be overly nice to the in-laws. Don't let them have a chance to "hate" you.
2006-08-28 05:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the poor guy a break. He's trying to keep everyone happy. His family is, well, his family, and he loves them. He also loves you and doesn't want to have your feelings hurt by them. He probably feels trapped in the middle of all of you. Not your fault, his family should accept you because he loves you and you are the mother of his child. I feel bad for him. He's just a guy trying to do his best to keep the peace. I hope they will come around eventually. Good Luck to all of you.
2006-08-28 05:05:15 · answer #7 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you care that he wants his son to have a relationship with his parents? It's important for a child to know his grandparents and you shouldn't keep him from having that. If you guys can't get along, that's your problem, not your son's. As for your husband, I don't agree with the lying, but what's he to do?
2006-08-28 05:04:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you say it, just like you asked the question: "Honey, I'm upset because you lied to me about going to your family's house."
Better choose your battles on this one, you might want to focus on the just the lying part to start with, it sounds like the family is a huge can of worms, don't go there unless you're ready to get into that.
2006-08-28 05:03:07 · answer #9 · answered by daisyk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about, "you lied to me, and went to your family's house behind my back." Then tell him how that made you feel. He'll probably have plenty to say to about how that's STILL his family, and that he needs to keep a relationship with them. You don't like them/and them you, so he spared you the indignity of having to see them. Why are so many people afraid of being direct?
2006-08-28 06:09:05 · answer #10 · answered by whudda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋