The reason i ask is, one of my best friends is a real womaniser, we go out together usually once a week for a laugh and to really chill out, while we're out he (Not Me) does occasionally chat up other women. My Partner hates these nights out with my mate and this is a source of constant argument between us.
Should i give up these nights out? am i being unreasonable? I really enjoy these nights out, which are nothing more than a chance to relax and unwind, or should i forget the amateur psychology here, adopt the caveman mentality and just slap her into line?
Should women influence men in their choice of friends in order
to ensure a man's loyalty? Do women ever really trust Men or do we really need guidence?
2006-08-28 04:58:07 · 22 answers · asked by Stephen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I trust men until they destroy it.... I know this sounds too simplistic, but if a man is going to cheat then he's going to cheat and there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop it or prevent it.
You do sound like a grown up and capable of making your own desicions, and you shouldn't give up these nights out, this is her problem and not yours and she either has to live with this or move on. No woman should influence who is "allowed" to be friends with her partner.
Personally, I couldn't live my life this way and worry everytime my partner left the house... it would be all consuming.... if my trust is destroyed, then that's it....no second chances.
2006-08-28 05:07:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally will never fully trust a man ever again. I don't feel personally that there is anything wrong with a guy going out with his guy friends and cutting lose and unwinding.......... however if you are doing more then that, and your cheating then yeah, I see a problem. I don't think that women should choose a mans friends however I think alittle guidence never hurt anyone......... women can see things in people that men are obliviouse to........ and where a man thinks "awe its all harmless, and besides its them not me, I am just here for the unwind time", a woman can tell if you can be persueded or not to do something maybe you wouldn't normally do, but would under the right setting and the right circumstances. I do not agree with your cave man option. A woman doesn't need to slapped into line in any way form or fashion and that is just sexist. If you start doing that, then she needs to move on to greener pasters because they exist. blessed be.
2006-08-28 05:08:16 · answer #2 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman trusts a man 2 a certain extent. If he's loyal to her and she knows it then that's 100% trust. Men can do alot 2 chance the trust card and that's why most men can't be trusted. It's true, a man will be a man but at the same time if a woman can come 2 terms with how she feels about the man and how close they are then whether she trusts him will play a major role.
You are not being unreasonable or amateur you are in fact looking for guidance on a woman's trust point of view.
2006-08-28 05:07:48 · answer #3 · answered by Marty Johnson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I trust my fiancé completely - I just know very deep down that he wouldn't let me down. And as far as I'm concerned nights out with friends are a completely normal part of life - it would be abnormal in my opinion not to still have a life of your own. The thought that one person, however much you love them, can provide you with everything you need is just silly. People need friends too.
You don't say if your mate has a girlfriend or not, but if he does then that will be preying on your girlfriend's mind because she'll be wondering if you're doing the same thing to her as he is to his girlfriend. Reassure her that you're not, and make sure she knows that although you love her you need your friends too. Ask her how she would feel if you tried to stop her seeing her friends - it's exactly the same thing.
And if she still doesn't trust you then you have to work on that, because that will be the real issue, not whether you go out with a friend she disapproves of or not.
Good luck with it all.
2006-08-28 05:14:10 · answer #4 · answered by pomme_blanche_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we make sweeping generalizations we completely miss the point. Not ALL women will trust ALL men. not ALL MEN should be trusted, nor women for that matter. However, when you're in a relationship with someone you should both trust one another.
You should not have to give up going out with your friend. Seriously your woman should trust you and if she doesn't there's a problem there... is it that she doesn't trust men in general or that she doesn't trust you. and furthermore if she doesn't trust you- why doesn't she trust you. And do you want to be with a woman who doesn't trust you.
Bottom line- you need to talk to her. You should talk sooner rather than later. and have an honest conversation.
good luck!
2006-08-28 05:07:01 · answer #5 · answered by rachel o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to have a heck of a lot more faith in you, just because your friend is a womaniser that doesn't make you the same does it, one of my best friends is divorced, but I'm not going to do that myself just so were alike, were there is no trust there is no love and were there is no love what is the point, we all need our 'chill out' time and if your partner can't accept that of you, well, think you have your answer don't you.
2006-08-28 05:33:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women do trust me-if he proves himself worthy of that trust. In this case I'd say do whatever makes u feel comfortable, if ur not comfortable takin the same actions as your friend with regards to chattin up the ladies then give it up.
Your partner is just afraid that you may succumb to your friends wild ways. Giving up something u like becoz of someone else will only breath resentment in the relationship.
Most women lose trust in men becoz of bad relationships in the past.
2006-08-28 05:26:43 · answer #7 · answered by Rogue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody wants to be told what 2 do so don't become ur woman's toy but also don't use her trust too much cause any trust has its end. Anyway I think women do really trust men 100% but that's a rare fact and lucky those who do; respect from me.
2006-08-28 05:12:47 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT EVER SLAP ANYONE INTO LINE!! No, you're not being unreasonable but your partner may have previous experience of being dumped on. All you can do is show how important your partner is to you by re-assuring them and then continue seeing your friend. No person has the right to make someone stop seeing their friends.
2006-08-28 05:12:41 · answer #9 · answered by Pixxxie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women believe that a man is as faithful as the opportunities presented to him.
She may just think that your friend may bring you over to his way of thinking. I suggest reassuring her. You're not unreasonable to take this guys night out. Let her know that you care about her, and that you won't do anything to disrespect her. Let her know that she can trust you.
2006-08-28 05:05:54 · answer #10 · answered by ncladams 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋