there more or less for lyrics for a friends band .......
Hanging here so helplessly,
on this terribly Delicate string...
and it's All The Small Things,
that keep me Dangling...
And I'm all alone here, just hanging
and I'm getting sick of holding on.
It's pointless; as I'm slowing slipping...
Maybe I should just Fall and Be Gone...
thnks for the advice...!
2006-08-28 04:48:28 · 18 answers · asked by me 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
no, im not depressed :). but i do get frustrated sometimes, and i tend to write my feelings out.
and its not really a poem, but lyrics .....
2006-08-28 05:04:15 · update #1
pretty depressing. I sense a central theme here....DESPAIR!!!
if this is what you were shooting for...bullseye!
2006-08-28 04:53:14 · answer #1 · answered by Studmuffin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok a true critique from a true music maker... I think it is dark, and it would work very well in some heavy rock band. It is awesome for that. I have MANY things to this effect written that I cannot use for the style of music I currently do make.
Keep doing what you are doing... this is a great start! Good luck to you!
2006-08-28 04:57:29 · answer #2 · answered by Cutelilminxy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LMAO in elementary terms 8 factors eh? communicate approximately one being under favourite! Ya basically can no longer get any admire in any respect, no longer regardless of a suitable answer. LOL Brightest reward, Raji the eco-friendly Witch
2016-09-30 02:17:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going in the right direction sounds good but you might want to go back and make the words rhyme just a little more..and i mean no disrespect toward you at all..
2006-08-28 04:56:32 · answer #4 · answered by bllnickie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm gonna be brutally honest- I think it's depressing, and not in a very poetic way. It sounds like a Nickelback song and not like poetry. Lots of great poets were seriously depressed, but they decribed their feelings better than this. Sorry, but you did ask for it.
2006-08-28 04:54:04 · answer #5 · answered by Ella S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Beavis, it is fine for lyrics, but it is not poetry, and if it was, I would tell you to stop forcing the rhyme and develop free form, because the actual content has great imagery/emotion.
2006-08-28 05:05:29 · answer #6 · answered by Kiss my Putt! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool
2006-08-28 04:51:51 · answer #7 · answered by EMO cupcake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is really good. You should try entering into a contest or magazine. Poems don't have to rhyme to be poems.
2006-08-28 04:59:06 · answer #8 · answered by scarletts_mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like something that should be put in a poetry book, even if it is depressing...it's very good.
2006-08-28 04:59:17 · answer #9 · answered by pegasus_1174 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad..perhaps a little dark..are there issues in your life?? Do you suffer a little depression? Seek joy and you will find it
2006-08-28 04:55:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting ideas - might be too many words to sing.
It all depends on the melody.
Good luck!
2006-08-28 04:54:56 · answer #11 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋