3 years of a serious relationship, we were getting engaged this summer, he suddently became very cold. After many discussions we splitted up becasuse he said i was too possessive and that we were like married. I was blaming myself and ask forgiveness but he never came back. 3 days after i have been told that he was cheating with another girl when we were together. He doesn`t know that i know. But he will tell me that it was my fault cos i pushed him to do that (because in his opinion we were seeing each-other too much and he got bored). Was it my fault that we had smth serious and we did things together? Why didn`t i get bored with him? Is a mistake to wanna hold the one you love?
2006-08-28 04:35:57 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Not one bit your fault. It wasnt ment to be! You are better off without a lier and a cheater!
But, advice for the next relationship... Know who you are first. Then take time getting to know the other person. Dont always spend every waking hour together (you need that missed feeling). Once you know its right move to the next level.
2006-08-28 04:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by MsLysa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not your fault. That is just the typical excuse that men give when they are ready to break it off. He's obviously not into the relationship any more. Don't count this as time lost but as a learning experience. You didn't get tired of him b/c you were in love and his feelings just weren't the same. Just be glad that it ended now and not later. If he says you all saw each other too much, how was he going to marry you? Isn't that seeing each other 24/7? Why did you ask him for forgiveness? He is really doing some reverse psychology on you. Don't put yourself through the if I would have done this or I shouldn't have done that stuff..........Shake Yourself. Find something to fill that void and move on with your life. I've been there, the only difference was that I was engaged and had to end the engagement due to unfaithfulness. I am so very glad that I found out when I did; I dealt with it, it was tough but I endured and let go and I suggest that you do the same.
2006-08-28 11:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by DaddysGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes Some people are not meant to be. You can force them to come back and love you the same.
He cheated on you. And it's seems like you are taking it pretty well. And he doesn't have the right to blame it on you and sya it's your fault. My bf does that too. But we aren't enganged to get married or anything. He has never cheated on me though.
Because we have a very open and honest relationship. And if he were to ever cheat on me. It would be over for good. no matter how much I love it. I'll let it all go. no worth it. I never forget. It just wouldn; be the same. I would feel so betrayed.
And if your smart...You will stop trying to make things right.
I mean a break up is like a broken mirror. Just let it go, instead of trying to hurt yourself putting it back together.
He said that you were bveing possesive. It seems more like he wasn't ready to commit. Guys will always use you as an excuse. If he loved you he wouldn't have ever cheated on you.
You supposed to be there for eachother during rough times. Or just talk it through. You didn't tell him: "go cheat on me".
He the one that got his d!ck up and put it in her. You didn't make him do sh!t. That was all him! he knew what he was doing. he just didnt care. fcuk him and move on hun!
2006-08-28 11:47:14 · answer #3 · answered by blah blah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 yrs relationship is not easy to handle up....all aches and tears have passed you by,through happiness and loneliness....loving one another and being loyal and trusting is the most between a relationship.there;s nothing wrong about what you have really felt about him,being possesive is only showing that you dont want another to get his attention,coz you fall out of him!some guys may be stick on you some are not!even the relationship is strong there will be the time that it will be broke......for some reason!in your case,i didnt see anything wrong,to love someone is not bad,become faithful and dreaming of him for so long,but he become selfish maybe coz he never let you know why he become so cold....when you can arrange and save your relationship you must talk with him.......and tell him what you really felt coz its really un fair for your side!we are just a woman crying after all the heartaches!wish you will be strong and can move on what ever will happen!
2006-08-28 11:52:53 · answer #4 · answered by grace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your fault, he had to think about cheating before he did it.Don't blame yourself for what he did that was all on him.You didn't get bored because you gave your whole heart to the relationship and he did not.Let him go work on you and the right one will come along.I know it maybe hard to let go but you have to.Don't stay and continue to get hurt. This time in your relationship don't put a man first,always do things that make you happy.
2006-08-28 11:45:34 · answer #5 · answered by missmadhatter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step back and look at the history of your relationship. Were you the one that was giving all the time? Right now it is too soon to really figure it all out. Sorry you had to go through this. Don't blame yourself for it.
2006-08-28 11:40:44 · answer #6 · answered by Snuffy Smith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is most certainly not your fault. It's nobody's fault but his. What you described is the definition of a real relationship. He was too afraid to commit to this relatoinship so he got scared and went to another. It's wront to not wanna hold on the the one you love, not the opposite. Don't blame yourself, AND DON'T GO BACK TO HIM!
2006-08-28 11:39:20 · answer #7 · answered by hotgman2z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was cheated on. Move on. It seems really hard now, but if you don't he will learn it is okay for him to be with you and with others. Don't ask him back you're better off without.
You did nothing wrong. He did. He violated your trust and betrayed you. He should be the one begging you back. He should be the one apologizing. He sounds very manipulative and controlling.
2006-08-28 11:44:58 · answer #8 · answered by Lisamichelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a mistake, and don't blame yourself you can't know anything he doesn't tell you. I would suggest that it is time to move on, I know that its easier said than done. You really shouldn't accept him if he comes crawing back, be the bigger person and tell him to go mess up someone elses life.
2006-08-28 11:41:22 · answer #9 · answered by spiritofpalomino 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up girl. Ive been down this road. This guy is a looser. your better of without him. His blaming you is a way for him to feel good about his self. It is a big mistake to try to hold on to him.
2006-08-28 11:40:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋