I forgot our 17th anniversary this year.?

Question

I feel its because i just started a new job, my eldest daughter is turning 18 and starting college, and there has just been so much going on. It will be almost 2 years since my mothers death, which I have still not come to grips with - I truly havent been the same person, and this is NOT like me to forget something so important. He was very hurt, as he should have been, and im riddled with guilt...what can i ever do to make this up to him??????????? He has askerd me for a divorce, not angry....he feels all we have left is our friendship.

Answer 1

Tell him OK if he feels a divorce is what he wants after you forgot your 17Th wedding anniversary than tell him a divorce is what you'll give him.
Sorry to see him go but after 17 years of marriage without a bit of compassion & understanding there really isn't much to salvage now is there.
And I wish YOU Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

Ok, I am a little suprised that you are the wife in this situation. It's usually the Husbands that forget the anniversary, & the wives that get all bent out of shape when it happens.
If my wife forgot our wedding anniversary, & had been through some of what has been going on with you, I would say "OK Honey, you forgot our anniversary, so lets celebrate today instead of yesterday"
Enough excuses, & forget the guilt trip you are on too. If he is making a big deal out of you forgetting the wedding anniversary, then there is far more going on there then a forgetfull moment.
Tell him to suck it up & get over it, and if he can't, try a little marriage councilling.

Answer 3

If he's asking you for a divorce sweetie then there is more to it than this. This was just the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Talk to him. Don't make excuses anymore (what you listed are unfortunately excuses; true even though they are, no judgments there, I do understand that, I'm a very forgetful person simply b/c there's so much going on in my mind. I understand), just apologize and ask him what he wants, what you can do to make it up to him. Ask him if a divorce is what he really wants or if he'll give you another chance. Then go about wooing your husband all over again. Men's egos really are very delicate and it sounds like he doesn't feel important to you and maybe hasn't for a long time. You need to prove to him that he is. IOW, don't talk about it, DO it, you know?

Good luck. It doesn't sound like it's completely over yet, honey. He loves you.

Answer 4

be honest with him. Tell him all that you have been thru. It can happen to all of us, including him. This is just an excuse for him to talk about the divorce. Let's say the last straw? Why don't you surprise him with something nice and show him that you still care even though you forgot the anniversary? We all forget dates, sooner or later. Maybe he's been upset for other things and used the anniversary, as I said, as an excuse. A divorce is something so sad, we only go for it in last case. Good luck.

Answer 5

Excuse me you forgot your 17th anniversary and your the woman. Wow that is different.

Wedding anniversary is most likely the most important day of all. Without it you two might not have been together and your daughter would not be here.

He is hurt and I don't know if it can be repaired.

Everyone has deaths of Mom and Dads. We all have trouble dealing with it but husbands and wives help each other. Seems your so wrapped up into how you are the victim that you stab your husband in the heart one good time.

Your husband has seen this for sometime. You forgetting your 17th anniversary this year was the last straw.

Give him his divorce so he can move on.

Answer 6

Marriage is based on friendship so you still have the basic foundation that starts a relationship anyway. He sould be more understanding of your circumstances. He must not think much of you or your marriage if he can let it go so easily over a forgotten day. You can celebrate your anniversary any day. I get the idea that the two of might not be comminicating very well right now.

Answer 7

It is not you its him that should feel guilty he is just using the excuse to get out of the married, If he wants out let him go. why you would want to be with someone that cannot tell you why he really wants to end the marriage. There is someone more then what he is willing to tell you, move on start a new life maybe its all for the better, and stop holding on to the changes in your life change is good. I do feel for the lost of your mother, but you must move on and let go I do believe she would want you to be happy and not morn for her forever.

Answer 8

Please say that you are kidding. If he is serious about asking for a divorce over such a little thing (and it IS little), then it seems he wants that divorce first and foremost, and was just looking for an excuse.

You need to be deciding whether keeping him is worth all the aggravation. Emotional blackmail is never something ANYONE should have to put up with in a partner.

Answer 9

Therapy.

He's asking for a divorce over forgetting your anniversary? Of course it's a big deal to forget, but not grounds for divorce.

Sounds like things slowly faded.

Seek therapy to work it out.

Answer 10

I think you need to seek therapy. You are dealing with a great amount of stress right now and no one can get through that alone.

First, you need to talk to a professional about the loss of your mother. That is HUGE and if you haven't dealt with it, you need to. You are also dealing with the "loss" of your daughter, the stress of starting a new job, and it sounds like your marriage is suffering. please seek counseling, it will do you a world of good and may save your marriage.