how to let someone go?

Question

i'll first explain my situation, my 'mum'(if I can call her still that) left my dad and my 3 brothers for another family, not just another husband, but also someone with 4 children. she just left us, but first taking all the money of us(5 years ago, she planned it) and left my dad, my grandmother(her mother) always said and wanted us to study and she had the money for it and she wanted to be used for that, so when she died, my mother got it and she always said, you'll be able to study and when you leave the house, you'll get a financial start, now she's gone, with all the money, of my grandmother and she gives her 'new' children all that money, we hear from friends that those children who weren't so rich before, are now spoiled, have the most expensive clothes there are, etc. well, now there's a 'divorce trial'(or who do you want to name it) and she postponing it in her advantage. I'll tell some of the things she did: she never worked, my father worked and we had a cleaning lady,

sometimes clothes dissapeared, and we suspected the cleaning ladies, but never said anything because we weren't sure of it, now when she was away for a month, my brother saw one of those children walking with one of his nice sweater that was 'stolen', that's one example of the things she did, she's rich I must say and she's spending all that money to her new children, all the money of my grandmother that was destined for us, for studying, now my father works from morning till evening to let us study, she's also saying we should pay our own studies now, well I can't let it go, the whole situation is so freaking annoying, my dad tries his best, but isn't much home because he works so much, I always get frustrated when I talk and think about it, and I think all my emotions will burst out someday and it won't be a good experience, my question is who to let those emotions go, how to let them free, I feel all kinds of things, I feel sad, angry, I feel frustrated, but how to let them go...?

I must say, it's not about the money, it's about the fact my grandmother, who died btw, wanted it to be ours to study and to give us a 'start' later, now she's giving it to those children who's mother also left them years ago

and we can't tell her much about we feel because all the things we do, or say, she uses against us

she's more hated here then anything else, it's just I'm so angry and frustrated that one day I'll burst out and I'll probably hurt someone

Answer 1

Well, first of all if you have a cleaning lady you are already ahead of the game not too many people have that luxury. Second, is understood that your mother has issues and that you can not change her so wash your hands of her. Third, that was rather grimmey of her so if I were you I would make sure I gave my input if it mean testifying or whatever! Lastly, don't depend on anyone to do anything for you. Enroll in school get a job and claim independence and apply for grants I grantee you will make it through school, oh and fire the cleaning lady her salary will help to pay for school or some other luxury! Note: It's not right but women like your mother is and everyday tragedy just don't let her decisions hinder your ambitions! Since she hurt you the only way I say to take out your frustrtations is to go to court and divorce her of being your parent and when ever you get achance write her a letter and mail it to her with all the things you feel or want to say to her!

Answer 2

I understand exactly how you feel right now from my cousin's past experience, except her situation was slightly different from yours although it sounds very similar. Her mom (my aunt) did exactly the same thing as your mom, except she did work and the a** that she followed had only two children. During those times, my cousin was very depressed and she came to ask for my help and advice. Never have I seen her so emotionally down before and she told me she was going to commit suicide. I didn't know what to do so I discussed with my boyfriend about the situation. But now she thought it over and she's recovering from the emotional torment since she figured that her "mom" and that a** wouldn't care about how she feels anyway, and instead, they would be enjoying life while she was going through all of the depression. So she thought it over and decided that why should she be the one who has to torture herself with sadness when the wrongdoers were the ones who were wrong all along and are currently enjoying life?

Answer 3

First of all you need to let it go. There is one thing you can count on. When the money runs out she will be back and need you and your family. When this happens and it WILL then you can decide for yourself how much of a mother she has been to you and the rest of your family.

Answer 4

It was your mother's choice to leave, so don't blame yourself. As far as the money goes, let it go, your mom will probably hold it over her "new" families head somewhere down the line. As for yourself, work hard, be true to your father and family ,and you will be successful. Your mom sounds like a spoiled selfish child.

Answer 5

That's not normal behavior for a person, especially a mom. There's a good chance that there is something psychologically wrong with her. Maybe you could sue her for the money. You grandma did say it was for you. Find a lawyer, I think you have a chance. In the mean time, I'm sorry.

Answer 6

well,you have to accept the fact that you cannot hold on to someone when someone doesnt want to be there with you guys,you cannot force anyone,including your mom and about the money,its hers,theres nothing much you can do about the way she spends it.....you should not blame her because its somthing between your parents that caused seperation....m sure she has her part too!!so just relax and try to be happy !!

Answer 7

write out all your feelings in a journal/diary addressed to your mother, when you feel you've written all you can write, mail it to her, along with a goodbye.

Answer 8

just let go