Gay vs. Bisexuality????

Question

If you knew you were gay as a child, you were still in the closet, did you ever consider coming out as a bisexual to lighten the blow to people/family? I thought it would have been easier to do that but I know now, that there would have been reprocussions from it. Has anyone thought of doing this crazy idea?

I asked my mom this question. She told me my Dad would have kicked my a$$ no matter what, if I didn't all ready move out on my own. She said that it would have been a lot different seeing me grow into something I'm not rather than coming out as a homosexual. It would have been hard but, it was my decision to be true to myself and others.

Answer 1

I wouldn't recommend it. How could you be true to yourself if you lied to everyone else (esp the ones you love)?

You're right it is a crazy idea.

Answer 2

It would create far more problems in the long run. An amazing number of people, including some otherwise intelligent ones, really don't get the whole concept of bisexuality. Conflicted family especially will struggle with it and come up with some, um, interesting theories and interpretations like it's just a phase that you'll leave behind when you meet the right ____ and begin a conventionally reproductive lifestyle.

Better to tell them straight ;-) so that they can (hopefully) come to accept it. Otherwise you'll be explaining to them for decades how it is that you only swing from one side of the plate.

Answer 3

You should not "come out" as bisexual first to lighten the blow because that just makes it harder for real bisexuals to come out as bi. There are many bisexual myths. One being that being bisexual is easier then being lesbian/gay but it's not. Bi people have heat from boths sides sometimes. You know "too straight for the lesbian/gay people and too gay for the straight people." Just come out as your true self if you are ready to come out, if not then stay in the closet until you are.

Read the "Bisexual Myths" by the Human Rights Campaign to learn more about this issue.
http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out_as_Bi&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=32351

Answer 4

People who are genuinely bisexual will tell you that coming out as bisexual can be very difficult, as bisexuals are at odds with both the gay and straight communities. In the straight communities, bisexuals are sometimes thought as being gays in denial, but there are also people who consider it the "lesser of two evils" - hence why you might think it being easier to come out as bisexual.

If you come out as bisexual to some parents, they might say something along the lines of "if you are attracted to both males and females" then why would you choose a male partner over a female one (if you're a male).

Answer 5

I am 50/50 bisexual, and have been all my life, and came out as such to my mom, and was outed as such to my relatives. Let me tell you, it didn't lighten the blow for *anyone*, though it did lead to stupid questions like, "Since you can be with a man, why don't you just do the easy thing and find a man?" Not to mention the lovely cultural assumptions about bi women being disease-ridden, indecisive, confused sluts. (It's not that much nicer for men, either.)

Answer 6

Please believe me when I say being bisexual is harder not easier. Think of it this way monosexual straights think homosexuals are choosing this "lifestyle" homosexuals know they are not but when it comes to being bisexual most monosexuals straight and otherwise think you are either in denial, being greedy or can choose to have these feelings as in being able to choose to ignore half of your basic needs. The inability of some 100% homosexuals to identify as such wanting to live straight causes many homosexuals to think that all bisexuals are really just gay and in denial. This is why many never come out.
I am a bi-g0y and happy about making that identification. But before I identified as g0y I really struggled with being bisexual. I didn't want to come out as bisexual. When I did tell a few people I was bisexual I was told "oh bisexual is just a stop on the way to gayville."
These attitudes are what keep many bisexuals from identifying as such. Being g0y means having trust and being able to have someone to count on but it also means discretion is expected in all things. G0y are not usually out. That is why I don't have this issue about coming out as bi now.

Answer 7

I was just thinking about this earlier, yes I have done this. When I was 17, I came out as a bisexual because it seemed more acceptable to my mother than telling her I was an all-out lesbian. It took 4 years, but I finally clued her in that I wasn't bi, but that I was a lesbian all along. It made things a little bit easier within those 4 years. As long as I was dating guys, liking girls didn't come up as a subject, but it was still hard on her when I finally did come out.

Answer 8

I think you should always be true with yourself, and if that means respecting yourself as gay then be gay--no need to go out on a date with the opposite if its not in you. However I also beleive every person should date both sexes at least once to know for sure where they stand--after all you might just be bisexual.

Answer 9

It is dumb to lie about who you are just because of what others may say, or think. I came out as bi because I am bisexual. There was no blow to lighten. If ppl don't like my sexuality they can kiss my ***.

Answer 10

Didn't think about it. I wouldn't advise either unless you really are. That is one more foot in the door for them to say "it's just a phase, you can still get married and have kids." Tell them when you're ready, but tell them the whole truth

Answer 11

I don't think coming out Bi would soften the blow, because you would still be looked at as someone who like your own sex and females as well. Always be true to yourself.