What gets you through the rocky times in a marriage?

Question

Even the best marriages have their rough periods. What are the keys to keeping a marriage together.

For me and my husband, it's commitment. Sometimes we are so angry at one another that love can fade, but because we are committed to one another and our marriage we realize we need to work out problems, and then love returns.

What gets you through the rocky times in a marriage?

Answer 1

In 15yrs we have never even considered not being married as an option. Anger has never made love fade, love has made the anger fade.
Mature people realize that you won't always see eye to eye and there will be arguments. It's how you conduct yourself when your angry that shows your commitment and maturity. Unfortunatley there are those whose own pride is more important and stronger than any love they supposedly felt for the other.
We don't have to make an effort to keep it together, love keeps it from falling apart.

Answer 2

There are lots of survival strategies. I have found the best ones to be maintain a separate checking account. Don't be wasteful with money or jeopardize your relationship with too much debt, too many kids or too much verbal abuse. Learn when to walk out of the house and calm your nerves so you can evaluate your behaviour, your spouses and the situation objectively. Don't be afraid to admit when you are wrong. You can be redeemed by coming up with a brilliant solution. Channel all that energy into construction rather than destruction. And best of all know the person you are marrying. If you disagree on large matters such as religion, how many children or how finances are managed, you are being forewarned about major red flags. Most important keep God in your life.Try to always do the right thing and somehow he makes it all come out all right. Maintain some autonomy. Know your priorities. For instance, If you have kids plan on raising them. You are going to make lots of mistakes but you are still learning.That makes you more interesting, happy in your skin and you love yourself. Who can resist a person like that!

Answer 3

The love and respect between my husband and I is so great that even when we are upset with each other the communication is there. Communication is the cornerstone to any good/solid/lasting relationship. When we get to the point of raised voices, it's almost comical. The look he gets on his face is so out of the ordinary that I smile, then he smiles, we kiss & whatever it might have been we were going to argue about....just fades away. Ultimately though COMMUNICATION is the most important in a relationship, with respect coming in a close second.

Answer 4

EVERY marriage has its rough times but the best thing to do is to think about the good times when you are going through the bad.. That really helps.. I know that it is hard to think about it sometimes . What helps is to sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and write out the good things and that way you are not only thinking about them you are actually documenting them and you can always go back and read them.

Answer 5

Dedication to one another and the desire that comes with love for each member to have the other persons best interest at heart equally and at the same time. Doing the work required comes as a result of people changing ( as they do) and trying to focus on the changes as challenges rather than obstacles. Trying to make a puzzle fit together so to speak rather than boxing it up or ignoring it because it is too hard

Marriages break off like ice bergs when one person decides that they no longer want to be a part of a whole but a whole unto themselves. As in cheating, money problems, or a desire to just be alone or to want to become a part of something else. People change and their goals and views change too. Now days people are not as dedicated to the ideal of marriage, most people are more focused on self. I mean look at some of the completely clueless relationship questions on here alone.

I have been divorced 3 times and with each relationship... I KNEW the day we hooked up and called ourselves a couple, that it was not the truth. We try though to fit ourselves into expectations and molds. Both participants have to want it both for themselves and for the other person... not just one trying and the other just toddling around trying to make something out of nothing, just because. Be Honest! and looking back on all your past mistakes, you can honestly tell yourself... You knew, but did it anyway. It is called retrospect... learning to flip it into hindsight is a valuable tool in life.

One woman was (supposedly) here on yahoo while her husband was out trying to kill himself... What kind of dedication is in that relationship? People have their priorities so screwed these days and forget that a union, a marriage is a choice to stick it out and make it work regardless of the challenges and it should be rethought from its inception as if you can actually see yourself with this person that far down the line. BEFORE you commit.

You guys sounds like you have it all together... Good luck always!

Answer 6

Commitment. When i get to a point in our 8yr relationship when i feel as tho i can't stand the sight of him or the sound of his voice(we r both medically retired at 40&spend way 2much time 2gether)I take a breather. I visit family or friends spend the night, laugh,relax,get caught up. We r like night and day so we tend to clash on a lot of issues. I have learned to just ignore alot of things. I try 2c his point of view and respect it no matter how childish it may seem.

Answer 7

We live happily together for already more than 40 years. Every time, I immediately realize that I am wrong, and I make apology first. If my spouse does not accept it, I try to do something to prove that my apology is sincere. If I still fail, I seek advice from our parents.
That was my plan. But I had never had to reach the second and the third steps.

Answer 8

That sense of commitment is what keeps us together.

I remember a silly fight we had once. We got off to a late start on a trip, and my wife wouldn't speak to me for an hour or so. Finally, I said, "In two hours, we'll be there, but in forty years, we'll still be married." It's a little more motivation to keep things right. If you think of divorce as an option, then you'll take it when things get bad.

Answer 9

Commitment. We are committed to making it work. Communication - honestly tell him what's bothering you. It took me a long time, but guess what? I realized that men and women are different and sometimes they just really don't know what they did to tick you off!! And men - women ARE emotional, it is who we are.

The best book I ever read on relationships was "The Five Love Languages" by Dr Gary Chapman. It does have a religious twist to it, but it helps to know what your love language is and what your spouces is, that way you know how to fill their tank!

Once we figured those out, it helps keep things fresh.

Answer 10

what gets me and my husband through rough times is knowing the problem and trying to come up with a solution together if that doesn't work than we agree to find the answer in our own way and learn to accept each others differences. but the best thing to remember is communacation is the key in every relationship!!!