DID I make a horrible mistake, leaving on my first trip without my baby, 10 DAYS!??!?

Question

I am flipping out, I am going all the way accross the country and leaving my baby for 10 days. He is 9 months on the day I leave and I am flying my mom here to watch him so I know he will be in good hands. I just am a mess! I leave in less than a week and have never spent more than 12 hours away from him. I made the decision to leave him here because we will be hiking and going to bachelorette/bachelor parties - o going for a wedding - DID i mess up, am I even going to be able to enjoy myself?? What can I do to ease the worry and seperation anxiety for both of us???? :(

Wow some of you guys are really really harsh and mean! I know it's ok to leave the baby, Im just scared of missing him too much. I did make a decision to be in the wedding and it was a lot of $ to get tickets. I offered my mom to fly with us, she wanted to come here instead because he will be more comfortable and she gets to see my brother this way. Thanks for the people who are answering the questions I was asking! Wow some of you really made my stomache ache with your answers, MEAN MEAN MEAN!

Answer 1

Girl, nothing you do will ease the anxiety of leaving your baby behind. Even I, (a dad), couldn't help it when we left our 1 y/o behind while at Disney, my wife was a wreck. We left him with my wife's mom. And there is no doubt she could take care of him even better than we, she raised 4 kids. And what were we to do with him at Disney?, nothing. He wasn't going to enjoy the heat and we weren't going to enjoy the whining.

If your mom will take care of him, physically there is nothing to be worried about, she raised you, and your ok... right?

But emotionally, if your baby doesn't know her, and he's very attached to you, your baby might feel stressed and miss you very badly. And there are other things to take in consideration. Do you breast feed him? Do you carry him all day? Do you play and sing to him at all times? It will help if you work and he's accustomed to be without you certain hours of the day. Of course, they are smart and he will start crying when the hour comes and he expects you but you don't show up.

This is not to hit you hard besides the comment that some gave you. You are doing fine with leaving your baby with your mom. You are taking some days for yourself after months of extreme motherhood. You need it.

And you prove you are a GOOD mother when you say you are already a mess and you haven't left yet.

Of course, the nature of you being a good mom will undenialbly withhold the complete fun you could have at this vacation your taking.

After the first two days of our vacations, my wife, after hours of long conversations with her mom eased a bit her worries and she got to enjoy (and me attached to that) our vacations. It was good because after all, her motherhood was very stressfull and she got a chance to recharge.

I'm sure you will too.

So have a good one, stay in contact and enjoy.

Answer 2

Though I have no children myself I understand the bond that has formed with your child and am happy to see you take your responsiblities seriously. With your mother watching him I am sure "grandma" will spoil the child with attention more than what you did with your first 10 days after birth. After all she raised you so she is experianced. Treat this time as a vacation or break which everyone needs from time to time. My guess is you have thought about a vacation this past nine months so try to get to that mind frame once again. Though you still will worry and have seperation anxiety, which isn't bad, try to set a time each day to call your mother and check up. Maybe even go shopping for your child and get him something from the area. Something like a shirt that says "My mother went to...and all I got was this shirt!" Laugh it was a joke! Plan with your mother when you want to call and leave numbers of how you can be contacted. Tell your husband how you feel and hint for him to do something to make you relax and take your mind off the situation. He should know you best!

Answer 3

I don't think you made a mistake at all. I think that it's great you could get to go to the wedding and you baby will be taken care of. Plus you are giving your Mom a great gift letting her spend uninterrupted time with your child. Sounds to me like you are a normal Mom worrying about your baby. Go and have a good time, let your Mom and the baby have a good time. I think you made a great decision!!!! Remember to call every other day, leave an emergency number just in case and don't forget to leave a dated and signed permission letter for your Mom to take care of the baby. I have my grandson off and on for a month or two at a time and always have a letter signed by my son. Legally it helps in an emergency or if he gets the sniffles and needs to see the doctor. We get the letter on the net...search free legal forms.

Answer 4

It's only a horrible mistake if you choose to think of it in that way. You need to stop stressing, sweetie, you have to do things for yourself at times, and this is one of those times. After all, who knows when your next opportunity for a break like this will arise? Don't get me wrong, I think that moms should stay with their children, but I also think that it's healthy to have some time away from them too. You won't be the first person to have ever left their baby in the hands of another, and all those other moms returned home to find their children safe and sound.
Stop worrying and enjoy your time away. Everything will be fine, and you can always call home everyday to speak to your son.
And if you miss him too much, you can always return home early.
You'll enjoy yourself if you let yourself lighten up and have fun. Make the most of this break, come home refreshed and ready to be the best mom you can be.

Answer 5

calm down.....it'll be o.k.

you have 2 coices:
-go
-don't go

o.k., you're going for a wedding....that's nice. are you in the wedding?? if so, and you already committed, then i would either still go or make the choice to stay RIGHT AWAY so you can give the bride as much notice as possible.

now, since you are flying mom there to watch the baby....why can't you fly her to the trip location to nanny for you??? that way you are still with the baby, but when you are doing "adult" things she can keep the baby!
i don't know if this is an option or not....

now, if you choose to go, think about it, b/c you are already upset...most likely that feeling won't be going away. so, you'll probably be out there having a not-so-great time. unless, you can calm yourself and remind yourself that your mom raised you just fine and she'll be just fine with your little bird.
if you think you can seperate yourself enough, then go and enjoy the time you have with your husband!

there is nothing wrong with going on your trip. your baby will be fine with your mom.

another option...shorten the trip to maybe 4 days.....fly out fly back (2 days) and 2 days for fun and wedding.

the choice is yours....just be calm and don't freak out too much if you do go....your baby will be o.k.

take care.

Answer 6

Sounds to me that you made the best decision that you can. Your mother needs time alone to bond with the baby, and if you have not gotten away with your husband than go have fun be crazy again. You all need it. Believe me if something goes wrong your mom will get ahold of you. She raised you didn't she. The baby will never ajust well to anyone if you don't spend some time away every now and then.

Answer 7

Relax! You are allowed to leave your child for a couple days for a wedding. As long as you left your child with someone reliable you can enjoy yourself. You should enjoy the time away from your son and enjoy being with adults. Believe me, you will soon yearn for time away from Barney and Tellitubbies just to have an adult conversation with other people. you are not a bad mommy. Your son would be miserable if he was surrounded by tons of people at a wedding or stuck in a hotel room. Believe me he is more comfortable at home in his environment!

Answer 8

I think it's fine, I agree with the people who are saying that as long as he's with somebody trustworthy (and your mother definitely has experience raising kids!), he'll be just fine.

Maybe you could take an overnight trip somewhere first, and leave your son with your mother or someone else you trust, as kind of a trial run, and see how you feel, just for a day or so? That might give you a better idea of how you'll handle it.

Answer 9

You didn't do anything wrong by leaving your baby with your mother while you go on a trip, parents need time away and grandparents need time with grandkids, let her love on your baby for that week and a half. Call her daily to check up, but don't stress aout anythingm your baby will be in capable hands....I mean, she raised you just fine!

Good luck and have fun on your trip!

Answer 10

You should have considered flying your mom and baby with you so you could be with him between the partying and ditch the guilt. But, no, everything will be fine you may not leave again soon if you feel this bad afterwards though. Good luck and have fun