Here's the details: She's my BF's sister, she has been with this guy for 8 years, he's 26 she's 36. They have a 6 month old baby, but are not married. She is physically disabled, and unable to walk, or take care of herself, let alone the baby. She has been suspicous of him and a particular mutual friend of theirs, asked him if they are involved, and he will just not answer the question. Just yesterday, he confirmed those suspicions to my BF, and says he plans to stick around with her for 2 more years, until he finishes nursing school, and does not need for her governemnt money and the nice SUV that the government paid for since she is diabled. She really has no where to go if he leaves her, and will lose her child, her independence (she will have to go to an assisted living home), and all the financials they have together in his name. So, do I tell her that he really is cheating on her, and his plan to use her for two more years, or not tell her?
2006-08-28 02:50:30 · 17 answers · asked by Olive Green Eyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The right thing is to tell your boyfriend's sister exactly what you know. This guy is a deadbeat. In the end, she will be very hurt. But it's better she hears it from you now, versus her finding out you knew about this and did not tell her. Good luck, this is not an easy position to be in.
2006-08-28 02:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by tannedknight45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I would tell her. But instead of just telling her maybe help her so that she dosen't loose her child or Independence. He is "planning" to leave her anyway so It might as well be now. That way she has a heads up and can start making plans for her future. Then when she feels she is set then she can drop the bomb shell on him. Guys like this should be strangled!
2006-08-28 02:56:27 · answer #2 · answered by Wally 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the guy and tell him he needs to be man enough to tell her the truth now and quit wasting her time and her future. He is spending her funds to get himself better life and then just plan on leaving her in the cold, not a nice person at all.
2006-08-28 02:56:47 · answer #3 · answered by 51ain'tbad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her now. She will be worse off having the breakup sprung on her at the last minute. Tell her now while she is able to make arrangements for leaving him when it best suits her. She will really be out in the cold if he drops her unaware one day. You, as her friend should help her explore other possibilities as far as her child and housing are concerned. Best of luck:)
2006-08-28 02:56:43 · answer #4 · answered by Amazon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you care about her at all you will regret not telling her. I had to tell my friend and she was angry with me over him at first but I just kept letting her know that I told her because I cared a real friend will take the heat if you really care. All these other suckers that say mind your biz, those are the kind you don't want in your life.
2006-08-28 02:57:00 · answer #5 · answered by QueenOfHearts 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you guys really should do is tell her ...and then help her do not let her lose her child ...maybe she can make arrangments for you guys to take the kid and let her see the kid anytime she wants and there are home health care people that can help if she gets government money it should cover the cost....
2006-08-28 04:53:20 · answer #6 · answered by michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is getting Government money why can't she pay someone to come in and take care of her? There are many state programs that take care of people in her situation.
I say tell her, and help her find someone to come in and take care of her, and then kick him to the curb after she has everything in place. Surprise him, he is no good anyways. But I would get everything in order first without him knowing it.
Good Luck and God Bless
2006-08-28 03:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is your boyfriend's sister - he should be the one to deal with it. After all - it is his sister, if he lets this loser treat his sister that way and even talks to the jerk openly about it - your boyfriend is no better than the creep dating his sister.
Bottom line: The truth, it is sometimes painful, but it is the only answer. The only real problem, is to ask yourself if it is your place or not.
2006-08-28 03:17:39 · answer #8 · answered by Forgiven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my god - such a slime ball! What does your BF think? I mean, you have to consider your relationship with him, and how your saying anything could affect that - if it matters. I would be careful. I think you and your BF should have a heart to heart chat with sis, get her financial affairs in order without his knowledge, and then let her dump the looser
2006-08-28 03:06:03 · answer #9 · answered by buggsnme2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you care about her u will tell her. She will get hurt more if she finds out herself u can not allow her to continue being used.When she finds out she will be hurt but then she can move on to someone better
2006-08-28 02:53:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋