for the spiriitual ones....?

Question

I believe God can turn anything around. I've tried praying being nice and just being a good wife to my husband but I feel and know in many cases when he has been lying to me about even small things. as a christian I am battling with sticking it out for the long haul and hoping for a change. his family life was/is of one without true commitment , divorce is prominent as is having children out of wedlock. my family dynamics are the total opposite. will my willingness to show true commitment and forgiveness pay off or is it still a dead situation like a generational curse?

Answer 1

Not a generational curse - but a state of mind. Keep fighting for your marriage and talk it over with him. Maybe even counseling. Stick with it. Divorce is too easy

Answer 2

You said you are a Christian... ok then, God doesn't give up on us... on the contrary we're the ones who give up on Him to follow our sinful desires. No one can or should play God, however, our characters need to represent Jesus character.

Yes, you should seriously pray and pray however, you need to serioulsy consider Christian counseling.

Curious??? You married this man knowing (it seems) that he had some serious issues in his family and in his personal life. Did you not hear the Holy Spirit speaking to you and showing you that this was "NOT" the person for you. if not...Why? What was your relationship with Christ like when you met and then subsequently married this man? Did you get red flag warnings/signals? The types of relationships (personal or otherwise) we allow ourselves to get into as Christians show where we are in our walk/growth with the Lord. Just some things you may want to think about.

If you did not take advantage of an oppoprtunity to have at least 3 months of some serious pre-marital counseling you'll need to consider post-marital Christian counseling immediately.

Now that the guests have left the chapel and all the wedding cake is gone (so to speak).. the true test of love, fidelity, good times/bad times, honor cherish in sickness and in health, etc... is setting in. You (as a Christian) have made a covenant with God concerning your husband, and he did the same. Forgiveness is what God does for us every day (when we ask). He bears long with us.. Read 1 Corinthians 13. Forgiveness as long as you're a true Christian is "NOT" an option. We can't be forgiven by God if we don't forgive.. (Read the Lords Prayer in Matt. 6.) Don't mean to preach.. but the ememy is Always trying to destroy/alter/desecrate/attack marriages. Marriage is what God has made, ordained and blessed, so we need to protect it. It's HOLY!

It seems as though you both need counseling immediately. Seek out Christian counseling together or apart if necessary. Find resource books like... "The Power of a Praying Wife.. by Stormie O'maritan,) and even though generational curses (sins) do exist.. God's AWESOME power can conquer it ALL.... TRUST!

Don't loose hope and don't break your covenant promise to God. He is more than able. The situation is not dead or impossible.

Answer 3

Big B has a point.
I would add abuse to the list. You don't have to stick around in an abusive situation (seperation vs. divorce in that case is something to discuss with your pastor)

You need to get into pastoral marriage counseling. I feel that his relationship with God is not where it should be. That will come out in counseling.

Also, some women think that "sticking it out" means keeping your mouth shut while perpetrating passive-aggressive behaviour. Make sure you're not doing that.

A good resource (albeit secular) is Dr. Laura's book "The proper care and feeding of husbands" Just give it a read to see how we men think. That will help you become a better wife.

Finally - the Generational curse thing - Whose curse? His or yours? Those are real and Christians can struggle with those, but God can and will overcome those with a blink of his eye. Hang in there and expect him to do it.

God Bless.

Answer 4

Oh sweetie, I know exactly how you feel. My first four and a half years of marriage were a nightmare. He lied and he hit all the time. The anger that dwelled within him was terrible. He was addicted to pornography and he would rather have that then me. It was very frustrating and every day was the same. I went to church and I prayed constantly for him and I and for our children. I had left him on several different occasions but I missed him and all the while it seemed as if God was telling me to go back to him. Finally he slowly but surely began to change. He started coming to church with me and we became friends once again. We have been married now for seven years and we have three children with number four on the way. After my husband got saved it saved our marriage too. If I had given up on him I never would have gotten to experience what it was like to be so in love with him. I know that it is so hard but try your hardest to stick it out. God will get through to him eventually through your walk with Jesus. I will pray for you and for your Husband. God bless you both and your marriage.

Answer 5

Bebe, can u name one who speaks true always 100%, even u too lie everyday without any purpose and any reason, its only human nature, nobody is perfect in this world, The God u pray too have excuses.The only thing to consider is that is he going to some other women, having some bad addictions, giving his hard earned money to someone else, or not giving enough time at home? If he is lie for any of these, u have to be worried about, otherwise i would say that " u are lucky that u have a very good man".

Answer 6

Life is so short try to just make the best of it. You can be married and still be involved in your own projects. Try to feel your time with things you enjoy and if your husband See's you happy, he may want to join you for the fun.

Try not to set around and think of how to get out of your marriage that's the devil putting thought s in your head. Think about how to make it better, you made a commitment to God and your husband open your heart and God will show you the way,

Answer 7

I'm a christian, and this is my advice. You say, you pray. what I think you need is to ask Jesus to come in your marriage and guide the both of you in the direction that he feels is right, I believe you will have many blessing. put your faith in the Lord he can work miracles in any situation. stand strong if you really love your husband. He might just change before your eyes. you are good for him, I agree 100% about change and Gods work, as well. Blessing to you. keep the faith.

Answer 8

don't stick it out and hope for change... change, then hope to stick it out. marriage isn't something like... "ohhh gee whizz... i'm gonna hafta put up with this till i die..." you still Love each other, there may just be times when you just don't LIKE each other that much. you married him- it's your responsibility in life now to live with, and help him in his life. help him with it. talk about it. lying is something very serious, but you guys can overcome it. you continuing to Love him will pay off... i promise. it could be that he knows he's lying, but doesn't know how to stop right now. if he sees that you continue to forgive him time after time after time, lying will hurt HIM, and he will come running back to you. never give up on God, keep praying... no one really knows God's will here but God Himself. He DOES have a plan though- trust in that. you are 100% right- God can turn anything around!

God bless you in your life, and Love, and hardships!!!

Answer 9

If you that committed to your marriage you both should be able to work thru anything. You can't account for how your husband will be or treat you. Keep God in your heart, that is important and live your life.

Answer 10

Just keep fighting it out God can change him and will if you stick it out you will be his sorce of God I have seen God change husbands and for a lady at church it took God 17 yrs to change her husband but now he is saved and a deacon at church so if you stick it out long enough God will work.