My hubby was emotioanlly abusive to me for almost 3 years, and it just got worse. He shut me out of our marriage and acted like I had no right ot ask anything about finances, grocery shop alone, etc. I ended up talking to another man, and while most could say it was an amotional affair, I shared no feelings with him but, someone to talk to, no physical stuff was involved. Now my hubby has kicked me and our kids out. He sees that he did nothing at all wrong in the way he treated me for 3 years. That hurt me to no end. What should I do? I apologized on hands and knees and he just yelled at me. Any suggestions?
2006-08-28 02:42:30 · 15 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why would you want to be with a man who is willing to put you and your children on the street? You need to get counceling and develop some self-respect. Your husband is playing games with you and you are letting him win!! You need to get OUT of this relationship and never look back! If he is emotionally abusive to you, eventually he will be that way to your children. Are you willing to let that happen? There are many resources out there to help you financially, you just have to seek them out. Begging this guy to take you back is doing nothing but showing him weakness. Trust me when I say, he will feed on that and the abuse will be much much worse if you go back!!!
2006-08-28 04:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a womans shelter immediately, or consult an attorney immediately. You will be a victor in divorce court for his actions. It is child endangerment to kick the mother and kids out of a home. Forget what he thinks. That is not the issue. He wont listen or reason with you. He thinks he knows it all and is controlling. It will be very liberating to you to have the court tell him to shut up, sit down, and divide all of the marital assets with you. He will get court ruled request to make all records available to the court, including all his financial transactions. If you checked into a woman shelter it would be best, or moved in with a realitive. You have a strong case for being kicked out. If he just kicked you out and kept the kids he would of been in better shape. In marriage, it does not matter who bought what, with whos money, his or mine. The court says a married couple has a 50/50 share in everything including any savings, on the down side, even half the debt belongs to you also. If it is a negitive thing then you can negotiate through your attorney what he can have and what you want. For example, if he pays off the debt he can keep the house. etc.
Dont be pushed around anymore. You have rights and the kids and you have been abandoned by him and he has kicked all of you out. The court will make him pay for that. He might even be in legal trouble for child endangerment. Impower yourself and dont take it.
I have a reverse situation, I wont leave until arrangements are made that is in best interest for all. Your Controling Hubby has no-ones best interest in mind, only his own.
2006-08-28 03:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is before you do anything else, apply for full custody of the kids. I know how you are feeling because I went through almost the same thing. The biggest difference was I put up with it for 26 1/2 years before I left (he didn't throw me out, wish he had). He had me so worn down emotionally from the abuse it took me that long to find the courage to tell him I was leaving. Walking out that door was one of the best things that could have happened to me. The very best thing was the divorce I got that was granted on my 50th birthday. Best gift I ever got!! Unfortunately, even a divorce can't erase some of the memories of the abuse, believe me I know. Time however does dim them slightly. He is like my ex, a total control freak, you will definitely do yourselves and the kids a favor by filing for divorce. Raising children in an environment like that is more damaging to them than any divorce. All the best for the future, you deserve it!
2006-08-28 02:57:48 · answer #3 · answered by arandbee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one should EVER put up with emotionally and verbally abuse. I would say it is a blessing to get out now. Just imagine over time how hurt your kids will be from the abuse. Even if he is or isnt emtionally abusing the kids, they are already being emtionally just by seeing him abuse you and being in the environment. I would move on with your life and find someone that is nice and is not abusive. Also get some counseling for you and your kids. There should be a place in your town for single moms that has been abused and they can help you get housing and free couseling.
2006-08-28 02:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by Ally 911 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a counselor or some third party to help. Their may be bi-polar emotional issues involved. Sounds like you are both emotionally hurt. Sometime situations like these have nothing to do with the kids or you and a sick mind can't be reasoned with. Sometimes this issue its a simple as a communication issue. You need objective help.
2006-08-29 07:22:44 · answer #5 · answered by tchrist36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He really did you a favor by kicking you out but the one thing to look at here is that he also kicked out his children. That says alot of what a jerk he really is. Just pick yourself up and realize that life will be better and learn to take care of yourself before you worry about taking care of a man.
2006-08-28 03:02:26 · answer #6 · answered by 51ain'tbad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He did you a favor by kicking you out. This way you can move on with your lives without that sorry son of a b*tch. You're probably very insecure and scared, but you don't need that crap. Gather up all your strength and courage and leave for good. You have NOTHING to be sorry for.
2006-08-28 02:53:54 · answer #7 · answered by T.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go get some counseling for your self. I also had an abusive ex, and it takes it's toll - emotionally, physically as well as spiritually. You need to take care of you at the moment, and going back to a bully isn't the way to do it.
2006-08-28 02:50:53 · answer #8 · answered by buggsnme2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You needed to leave him. You probably have really low self esteem right now. I'm sure it's hard, but for you and your kids sake, move on! You don't want your kids seeing you accepting such abuse and especially if you have girls because they will end up dating the same kind of men and I'm sure you don't want that.
2006-08-28 02:54:25 · answer #9 · answered by SmartyPants 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the fact that your out is the best thing that could have happened. Its the beginning of your happiness, even though you might not think so right now.
2006-08-28 02:49:24 · answer #10 · answered by thick_but_also_beautiful 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋