I had married few months ago to a man who is 20 years older than me, whom i loved very much, but he was not serious at all and he has cheated me and ditched me. He had promised me that we would settle down in our life and there wont be any problems. We have also had sex many times. I did not tell my parents about that. I am feeling very guilty for that. Now a days we do not have any contact. I do not know where he is. how can i remove the feeling of guilt from my mind. Plz help.
2006-08-28 02:01:56 · 31 answers · asked by Jenny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you don't deserve him...
you deserve someone better...
get over it... try to move on...
2006-08-28 02:08:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You loved him, married him & he left you. That is abandonment. Being a married person you do not have to tell your parents anything. Guilt feelings? Ask the Lord to remove all that guilt and replace it with the knowledge that you have done nothing to be guilty of; you were married and you loved him. Now this man on the other hand is 20 years older and should have treated you better. He's lucky anyone wanted his old woreout self. The up side is you won't have to help him to the toilet.
Did he leave any assets behind? House, vehicle?
You being younger....he will probably return with some sob story to convience you to take him back. Be caucious. Pray for him sounds as if he needs it. Maybe he has a drinking/drug problem.
2006-08-28 03:05:08 · answer #2 · answered by MoonWoman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guilt always surfaces when you think it is your fault - maybe you have done something wrong for him to leave. But, you should not worry about this. The man left you because he has commitment issues. It is not your fault. When you trusted him, he left you for others. So it is not your part to bear the guilt of the unknown reasons why he left you. Also, dont keep in touch with him, should he try to reach you again. Move on with your life, tell yourself that you trusted a person who was not worth it. That is the only way to learn from this event and move on without tripping over guilt each time.
2006-08-28 02:09:31 · answer #3 · answered by ilovegr8food 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you feeling guilty? You did not do anything wrong except trust and love the man. He lied and cheated on you. You do not need to go into great detail with family and friends if you are not comfrotable discussing your relationship. Really, it is none of their business. Keep it simple and tell them you were not compatible.
Move on with your life. There are many good men out there that will not abuse your trust and love. A little bit of counceling might be in order to help you through this bad relationship.
Good luck!
2006-08-28 02:21:08 · answer #4 · answered by John 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He maybe twenty years older in age but mentally his is a child. You have nothing to feel guilty about you did nothing wrong . Next time look for maturity. Its guys like him that give older men a bad rap. Some of us just want to settle down and have a good life and some just want to get some and then move on but i think he was wrong to marry you and then do this to you. e-mail me if you would like to talk.
2006-08-28 02:24:37 · answer #5 · answered by mcander01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feeling guilty is a problem most women have. Just own up to what happened. You got taken. The truth hurts. Just learn from your mistakes. Lifes lessons are here for us.so don't have to relearn this one. That is a big age gap. I didn't think the 12 yrs between my partner and myself was a factor. and it wasn't until now. He's in midlife crisis mode and I can't relate.So it will be so freaking hard but Move on. He moved on before you even split up. You Be smart. Move one. (Next) there are many fish in the Sea right.
2006-08-28 02:09:22 · answer #6 · answered by kellyswatsell 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Above all else, do not feel guilty. After all, you were married. You need to contact a divorce lawyer and get this guy out of your life, he is a user. You can still get a divorce even if you don't know where he is. Start your life over and be happy! Good luck.
2006-08-28 02:09:17 · answer #7 · answered by Ms. G. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is why the whole guys mature slower than girls so girsl should be with older guys thing is retarded. What does someone have in common with another who is 20 younger than him/her? He was using you from the start. And you have nothing to feel guilty about, you're obviously young and innocent, and someone decided to take advantage of that. That creep never deserved you, you sound like a really nice person. Just date people your own age, and who have things in common with you.
2006-08-28 02:16:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the past is past... you cannot do anything about it! he's an asshle and he is not the last Adam in this world... and you know that!!!
you are afraid that your parents might get mad at you, if you tell? yes they might! but i believe that would just be better than keeping things from them now that your asshle bf ditched you. you have no one to trust but your family. they might get fired up when you tell them about your dilemma, but i am sure they will still be at your side to back you up when you face your new stage in your life. your family is your "real love". they will be there for you...through thick and thin.
and if i may say: "no one can go back in time to make a happy ending... but everyone can stand up now and make a new beginning."
2006-08-28 02:19:30 · answer #9 · answered by Ross 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont feel guilty. Everyone makes mastakes. I realy dont think you need to tell your parents. Its really none of there business.It sounds like your old enough to have your own life and not inform your parents on your every move. If I was you I wouldnt go back with your husband, If he cheated once he will agian.
2006-08-28 02:11:35 · answer #10 · answered by janell b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have nothing to feel guilty about. The moron that lied to you and left you is the one that should feel guilt. Just be thankful that he is out of your life and concentrate on finding some one who will treat you with respect.
2006-08-28 02:16:37 · answer #11 · answered by Doreen A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋