2006-08-28 01:55:01 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
20 years is a whole generation. What you are saying is that he's old enough to be your son. It won't work in the long run. Either he's subconsciously wanting a Mommy- or you're subconsiously wanting to chase your youth- it's just got too many
obstacles to overcome.
You could toy with the thought- but be realistic and willing to just let it go when it's time. You have it for as long as it lasts. I wouldn't get married. You're setting yourselves up for failure.
Okay, there are always exceptions to the rules- but I can't think of one. Only when the older party is a multi-millionaire. Then it's a boy-toy thing or he's a kept man that gets your possessions when you die. (Or 1/2 when you divorce).
I think only Demi Moore and Ashton can pull that off, but I don't think they'll be a forever thing. And she had a $20,000 plastic surgery make-over. What will it be like in 20 years when she's
60 and he's being chased by 25 year old starletts? Hmmmm....
You're better off finding someone closer to your own age. I was always attracted to older men. When I got divorced, I fell in love with someone 6 years younger. It was a problem in the beginning. Now, he's cool with it. (After over 5 years)
2006-08-28 02:15:35 · answer #1 · answered by Linda S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aside from being with someone your son's age there really isn't much wrong with it. In fact, for you, there are advantages.
1). You probably won't out live him.
2). When you begin to slow down he will still be going strong.
3). You won't have to worry about a man that can't keep it up or loose interest.
On the down side, if you do have a son or daughter that age they may not see much good in it. If you marry it would be hard for them to look at your husband and ever call him dad.
Remember this. When you are young, under forty, age doesn't matter all that much. When you get older however it does. You want to have someone with you that remembers all the things you do and someone 20 years younger is a new generation. When you think back to events in your childhood they will not be able to relate at all.
And it is not easy for someone who feels like they are in the prime of their life to take care of an older person.
But if marriage isn't a factor then go for it.
2006-08-28 09:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on your bond; as long as you are both legal adults [I assume he is] - there is not automatic "chasing a mother figure or chasing youth issues" any more than a black haired guy with a blonde "chasing Marilyn Monroe's corpse in bed" or people from different economical backgrounds "defying their upbringing". NO RELATIONSHIP can withstand the asshole of the universe- the "critic"! Love is very, very rare, and if he loves you, age is just a number. Every argument against it posted here is a dip-**** amateur psychologist, Necrophobic putz or immature person threatened by anything outside their irrational justification "it's only right if I were raised that way".
Personally, I am currently unattached, but the ONLY relationships I've had, and sex, that still "rocks my world" was with older women- some as much as 20 years older, so best to you!
john m
2006-08-28 09:35:32 · answer #3 · answered by john m 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
AGE is just but a number. There have been a lot of relationships like that which worked thru test of time. If the love is stronger (and IT IS pure), it'll bound to surpass whatever that may come in the relationship... but prior to getting into it, both parties, most esp the woman, should know how BIG is at stake. Although, I must say it will be a lot of difficult if the woman has a child/ren as old (or nearly) as the guy.
2006-08-28 09:07:51 · answer #4 · answered by kamahalan_12 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong, you shouldn't feel bad about it. Some men like the maturity and I suppose you could enjoy the enthusiasm and passion of a younger man. It is though important that both of you know what you're getting yourselves into. The near-taboo factor will keep a spark going on and I'd say no-strings sex is a good option.
If it's more serious open up and settle for what you both really want.
2006-08-28 09:12:59 · answer #5 · answered by yasiru89 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the sex would be awesome - no joke!!! - but as far as building a permanent life together? no. You really aren't going to have that much in common - unless he is extraordinarily mature for his age - & getting along wouldn't be easy. Not that it's easy in an ordinary relationship! lol but someone a little closer to your own age would be steadier & more settled. Enjoy the fling, enjoy the rush of hormones & sex, but don't put more into it than is
really there.
2006-08-28 11:04:07 · answer #6 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is wonderful that you have found someone to share your love with. Age is not important as long as you do not act your age. My wife and I are separated in age by twenty years, it is a great love. I wish you the best and many years of happiness.
2006-08-28 09:09:59 · answer #7 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with it. Happiness is the emotional and physical interaction between two peopl, not their age.
2006-08-28 08:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by Hockey, Guns & Beer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I dont think she's being totally truthful with herself. That or she's just trying to get attention.
2006-08-28 09:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by Crystal L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it, Have fun and enjoy life, to heck with what everyone else thinks.You only live once.
2006-08-28 09:04:07 · answer #10 · answered by Sweet Pea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋