Iv just recently found out my boyfriend has been playing away by snooping through his phone. I feel heartbroken and upset. It even came to the point last night that I didnt want 2 live anymore. It was such a shock 2 me coz we spend so much time together and always tells me he loves me. Whenever Im out on my own hes on the phone all night making sure Im alright and that Im behaving. You probably wouldnt find such a romantic guy. I couldnt believe hed do this 2 me and when I confronted him about it he said that he had done nought wrong and that I had misread his txts but I dnt think its true. All of a sudden things have become so clear for me. He always said he went away every other weekend up his mates but now Im starting 2 have doubts. I havnt faced him since and I feel as though I have been taken for a fool. I feel used, cheated and humiliated. Im torn of whether 2 believe him or not. Please help.
2006-08-28 01:43:30 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I had a long conversation with a guy about this very thing once. He told me he loved his wife, but he separates love from sex. I agree to a certain point - sex and love are two different things. BUT if you are in love with someone, AND in a committed relationship it's just not right to have sex with someone else. If for no other reason you don't do it because it's hurtful. Then, this guy had the nerve to say, What she doesn't know, won't hurt her. I just replied, Well, she doesn't know right now, but eventually you'll bring an STD home to her, and THEN she'll know. Let's just see if she agrees with your philosophy that sex and love are two different things.
2006-08-28 02:09:22 · answer #1 · answered by sparkie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear all this. Maybe the truth is that his texts are really nothing, and maybe he really is with his friends. But a gut feeling is generally not wrong, so I'd go with it. As for your original question, no, you cannot love someone and cheat at the same time. Cheating is done when you are not "into" the other person, cause anyone truly in love does not and cannot cheat as the thought sickens them. Cheating is not love, it's a man/woman's way of having their cake and eating it too. And to the one being cheated on, it's like a death to the heart and to the soul.
I've been cheated on before 2 times. Each time I was lied to, told that I was loved and then after the relationship ended, I found out they cheated because they didn't feel love.
So again, if you have a gut feeling then go with it. But if you decide to give him another chance, then the first time this happens "shame on him", if it happens a 2nd time "shame on you".
2006-08-28 02:00:38 · answer #2 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that he is cheeting kind of spy on him i mean your not invading his space or privacy but you are finding out where he is and what he is doing and to see if he is cheeting on you and if he is confront him about it and ask him why?? you atleast deserve an answer on that and you are so much better than that PLUS no man, boy, or guy is worth taking your life over you have a lot to live for and remember yah the pain will be there but every day that goes by the pain will lessen and lessen and befor you know it you will be back to you normal self and you will be more prepared for the next realtion ship but remember don't comapre realtion ships or if you really love him and you beleive him that he won't cheat on you again give him another chance but let him know that it may or will tak a long time for the trust to come back
2006-08-28 02:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by hellokitty_19_2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all what did the TXT mess. Say?..... I think any one in u'r shoes might feel the same way..... My Man who had also cheated on me Before, Told me something i do go by now.... "either u eat the shyt and shut up, Or u Dont!" .... Only 2 choices ..... Yes people do change like my man who after getting caught and Knowing how his life is without me (i broke up with him for about a month) Came back and swore that he would NEVER cheat on me again ...... and he kept his words!! .... If u feel u can give him another chance then Do it ..... Cuz if u do get back together but always bring out the past....... The what's the point!!
2006-08-28 01:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry this happened to u I know exactly how it feels though and i know how it feels to do it to other people... The way I look at it everyone cheats some way or another no one is 100% faithful, but just because someone cheats doesn't mean they don't love u... But then again your boyfriend might love u he might not just be in love with u there is a big difference in the two. And I see u said he calls to make sure you're alright and that you are behaving the reason he is doin that is because he is in the wrong and doesn't want u to be doin the same thing he is... He is insecure because he knows what he is doin is wrong and doesn't want u to know cause he is scared u might do it to him... No man wants their woman to cheat on them they think its ok for them to do it as long as they don't get caught... The best thing for u to do is to tell him that u need a break to think about what he has done to u tell him that u are not going to be with him until he changes and stops messing around on u see if he is really willing to change and if not then go on with your life honey its hard to do but it is possible... Or if u wanna really get to him ignore him for about two weeks and if he really has feelings for u he will start to practically beg u to be with him u have to get em where it hurts... They do it to us... Hope this helps and if u need to talk to me im me kbrobinson05@yahoo.com
2006-08-28 03:38:34 · answer #5 · answered by kbrobinson05 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don'e mean to be cruel, but you must remember, that most men are only as loyal as their options. Though this may sound terrible, and it would be stereotypical to say that all men are that way. It is true that most men, coming as they do from the hunter gatherer history, see sex as just another conquest. As such they must conquer as many as they possibly can. In so doing they will lie, cheat, and say anything in order to achieve that goal. Some men grow out of this phase at around 19-23, some do not. This does not speak well of men in general, however there are men for whom honesty, truth, and a respect for not only themselves, but those around them is paramount.
2006-08-28 01:57:30 · answer #6 · answered by Tom H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. He still loves the way he knows how. But what you're wanting is Respect. If you except he is this way then play it off as nothing. If this is not for you then turn away. Don't let Fear rule over you. But if you just think he's cheating and start telling him that and he's not cheating. Well then he will start because you've already accused him of it. Childish huh? Oh well it's the way it is.
2006-08-28 02:31:21 · answer #7 · answered by kellyswatsell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to answer your question, yes.
trust your instincts. there is a reason they have not been bred out of us yet. next thing i would do is cut him offsexually. at least until he and you both get tested for STDs. Call the female. Don't be scared to ask her for the truth, woman to woman. if it's nothing, then you will know. you will hear it in her voice. Ask to meet her somewhere, face to face. His friends should be your friends too, right? And if it's true, and you forgive him, make it clear to him that you and him will be trading phones whenever you see fit. in the car, at home whenever you say so. It's the least he can do for you.
2006-08-28 01:57:43 · answer #8 · answered by brandienay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋