I can't take this any more..........?

Question

My husband is so jealous over me.
he decides who i can and cant talk to.
I have a 360 page and he go's nuts if a guy even asks how i am etc.
He then sulks for ages.
He only seems to be happy after sex.
All my profiles say clearly i'm married.
Wtf is wrong with him? I've never cheated nor would i ever.
I'm constantly accused of chatting to men or putting my cam on if he's out.I never do this.
This has got so bad I don't go out anymore.
Help plz

we have 2 children together too

we have chatted about this several times.
Nothing has changed.

Answer 1

Simple answer.

Leave him.

He's controlling, insecure and not worthy of you. He sounds like a child who can't have a new toy. Time to move on I'm afraid.

Answer 2

My advice would be to get professional help from a neutral third party like Relate. I think you both need to compromise. He is obviously insecure. Was he always like this? Have you had an affair whilst you've been married? Has he? Quite often when someone cheats they judge others by their own behaviour.

Likewise I don't think I'd like it if my fella was on the Internet with a web cam or whatever chatting to women. Would you? If you want company I'd say go to the gym, go to a friends for coffee or whatever. Both of you should have a social life away from each other. I presume you stay at home with the children. You could say to him you'll cut down on the Internet stuff but you are going out every Wednesday night or getting a part-time job.

If he refuses to look after the children so you can't go out and continues to bully you. I reckon you'd better start planning what you're going to do, and where you could go. Remember your children are watching you and learning how to treat others. Be strong and good luck.

Answer 3

Just don't do computer stuff while he is around and spend as much time with him to make him feel secure. It sound like he is very insecure for some reason. He has to get over his insecurity issues mostly himself but you can help him some to. Good luck.

PS: Is it possible that he has a lover on the side and that is what is making him so jealous? When men find that some married women will give it up pretty easily they become less secure in their own marriage in thinking their wife could be doing the same thing.

Answer 4

He's overprotective for some reason and it's got to do with control!! It is not your fault if you're doing everything you can to make sure he knows you are faithful and loyal to him. I feel bad for you but I don't know what I can say coz what if he reads this and sees I'd tell you to go to counseling separate of him and also with him or else just leave coz that's not good for the kids.

It would be better if you guys could work out why he is afraid of losing you.... Does he think he's not a good husband for some reason? (Unemployment, illness, etc.) It's not about you though....

Get help and don't hide in your house. The longer you continue allowing him to do this, the worse it will become till it feels NORMAL and then you'll have anxiety issues and health problems. If he loves you he doesn't want that to happen.

Answer 5

First how old is your husband? and it sounds like he's had ideas of cheating and that's why he is worried about you. Also maybe someone cheated on him before and it could be all the way back from pre-school. Men are like that. Also you may not think he is controlling but he somewhat is. See he can't control who you speak too. but he's got you to where you stay home and don't go out. Then he will make sure you don't have friends. Its all gradual. You don't really see it. Mine did some of the same things to me. Go to a therapist. You would be shocked at how well it works. Good Luck

Answer 6

Well, you didn't state how long you have been married and your ages, but anyhow before we ever start to argu and have problems with someone we have to put ourselves in the other persons shoes. Maybe you are gorgeous and he isn't or is? but I am probably sure he is insecure of himself you should work in other areas besides sex to try and make him feel better about himself. Ask yourself how much time are you dedicating to your computer activities. Do you chat with men online? Put yourself in his place and see maybe what is bothering him so much. And if you can't find a answer talk to him and tell him you feel sufficated by him and that you think you both should go to counseling you for allowing him to intrude on your personal space and he for doing it. But give it chance for the kids at the very least and also if you still love him.

Answer 7

So whats more important.. ur husband, or your computer????? Unfortunately u have a man thats very insecure, and the only way ur going to change that is by proving to him, in his way that u love only him, even if that means giving up your online friends..atleast untill u can work on ur marriage and figure out what is lacking within him to make him feel this way, i dont mean u should give up ur life, or hobbies, but theres obviously something he doesnt understand, or fears, and if u love your family u should be willing to do whatever it takes to make things better even if u have to get rid of your computer.. u took a vow, u have children, is a stupid computer really worth risking that all for?? and it doesnt mean u have to give it up indefinately, just means u need to fix whatever is broken in him, before u can come back to what ur wants are.. if the roles were reversed, and u were terrified of what he could possibly be doing when your not around on the pc, saw that he had all these different girls on his friends lists, ect and u were really terrified that there was something there that u were being kept out of the dark about, wouldnt u want him to do the same for u????? Understand that u know theres nothing going on, but he doesnt, alot of people, can justify it to themselves cause their the ones going through it, know whats being done, or said, the outside party , hasnt a clue, and starts drawing their own conclusions because they arent the ones that "know" whats going on.. cut him some slack, he obviously loves u, he just has insecurity issues, and u need to help him through this, trust is earned, respect is earned.. and life is a compromise, and sometimes we have to make choices that dont feel good at the moment, but we know are the right thing to do...And im sorry what would u do if you were to open ur husbands wallet one day or while going through his pockets before doing laundry, found a picture of some hot chic in them??? and he said oh its just some girl that i met at work today its nothing... Or found a note from a girl..saying Hi, how are you, hope you had a great day today.. ect... u wouldnt freak??????? I know i would, not knowing who this girl is, what her intentions are, if its really innocent or not.. what makes it so different just because ur on a computer?????..nothing, when u look at it realistically its the same thing except one is a msg or picture handed to u directly the other is at the push of a button, but still the same any way u look at it.. sorry but to me, this pc isnt worth driving a wedge between me and my husband.

Answer 8

There is obviously a serious problem here that could eventually cause problems regarding your children.Before you confront your husband you need to ask yourself what you want out of this marriage,do you want to stay with him or do you feel that the situation will not be resolved and for you and your children's safety it would be best to leave?These questions can only be answered by you.If you feel that you want to stay in this relationship you need to sit your husband down without the children present and tell him the only way that you will stay is if he goes to marriage therapy with you and possibly anger management as he obviously has a problem.If he decides its not for him remind him that you could always leave taking your children with you as you cannot go on like this.Let him know that whatever is going on for the sake of your marriage,future and children's future the only way forward is if he seeks help and that you will help in get back on track......Good luck.

Answer 9

Here is a clue for you. He thinks you are the best thing in the world and he doesn't want anyone to even have a chance to getting to know you. I am sure part of him feels he is not good enough for you but he has you as his wife. He doesn't want to lose you to another. If he keeps you from communicating with others he feels he can keep you a secret from everyone and have you for himself. It is a little overboard but girl he loves you more than you know.

You might sit down and have an adult talk on this. This man is really head of heals for you.

Talk it out.

Answer 10

The problem is that there are many married women online constantly flirting with men---have you ever asked him who he chats to?
If he doesn't use the computer at home or work, he's probably got friends that have cheated on their wives with internet pick ups (worse case scenario).
If he's so afraid to lose you, he may either love you very much or think he's not good enough for you. Seek councelling ASAP.

Answer 11

If you care about your marriage, listen to his concerns. No matter how much you protest that his accusations aren't true, there's something going on that makes him paranoid. Are you saying that owning a webcam and going into chat rooms is more important than your marriage? Try laying off the internet for a while and see if your relationship improves. I'm assuming you'd expect the same from him if you brought up something that really bothered you, no matter how legitimate it was or wasn't.