We were young,
We were free,
You and I- best friends forever.
We were at the brink of it all,
Distraught, yet together,
Blink for a moment, gone in another.
We were five, we were four,
Snap of our fingers, gone different ways,
Tried to reach out but heard only slamming of doors.
We laughed together and tried to clasp hands,
Hesitated and looked away with release,
All the promises vanished, all the smiles disappeared.
We were new to our feelings,
Walked too fast, too quickly,
Lost ourselves on the way reluctantly.
We were an unmatched pair,
And broke down the wall before it came up,
You put it up and blocked me out.
We lost a lot,
But I lost more,
Give me a chance, that’s all I ask for.
2006-08-28 00:43:35 · 10 answers · asked by sacred_90 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Very nice writing
I only didn't like this line.
Lost ourselves on the way reluctantly.
I like
Reluctantly lost ourselves on the way
Minor, I guess since you put it up here you are open to criticism.
For me I am a better editor than writer.
2006-08-28 01:12:14 · answer #1 · answered by Marge Simpson 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
very good . ur this creation is very good
i liked it . this shows the bond of love between two persons & how close are they.
whether it is friendship or love if we broke up then always loss is ours . friendship & love both r very precious & should be handled with care
i would show u one of my creations
"
Love is something which cannot be defined,
Friendship is the god' divine,
may good bless u with all happiness,
that is what i would like.
"
please tell me whether u liked it or not
2006-08-28 07:59:21 · answer #2 · answered by nikhil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what the hell is with all these poems on yahoo. But the point is kind of hard to understand in the middle of the poem.
2006-08-28 09:14:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
although English isnt my original languge, but I liked what u wrote, it is full of life and feelings.
2006-08-28 08:40:56 · answer #4 · answered by dr_merobedro 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that's a really good poem. wish i could do stuff like that without help.
2006-08-28 11:08:01 · answer #5 · answered by dragonmaster 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i loved it! i spoke to me, i could relate it to my life, u r an insperation to all of us young writers!
2006-08-28 20:06:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i love it! u got the writer flow:)
2006-08-28 10:12:06 · answer #7 · answered by [dANiiE♥♫]™ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that was pretty.... if you did that good job.. you can write!! hah
2006-08-28 08:05:02 · answer #8 · answered by babi_blonde_101 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
very nice.
2006-08-28 09:18:58 · answer #9 · answered by yourrad_letsmakeout♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did u write it by yourself??? please write more and post it here!!!!
2006-08-28 08:31:01 · answer #10 · answered by pierre m 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋