So, I have recently discovered, that the only way I can orgasm is with the help of a vibrator. So, I don't really need my husband. But I don't want him to feel not needed. How do I work the vibrator in during sex without him feeling this way...especially when he starts realizing that what he is doing...isn't working for me? And I really don't want to hurt his feelings.
2006-08-27 20:58:08 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
PS is it bad that I don't need the one I am married to, during sex, to have an orgasm?
2006-08-27 21:07:47 · update #1
Honey, EVERYONE of us is entitled to a mindblowing orgasm every now and then. And if you find help only by using a vibrator: good for you. This should not be an issue in your marriage. Have you spoken to your husband about your needs? I am sure this would be a very nice learning experience for him if you were to involve him. If you have truly sound marriage this won't be an issue. Rather, it will be something else to share and enjoy TOGETHER.
2006-08-27 21:04:39 · answer #1 · answered by Saffa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are almost always two to three minutes away from orgasm. All we need is a little friction. For women it takes about half an hour.
Scientists [anthopologist?] have spectulated that it is because traditionally (i.e. before civilization) women had many lovers. Insetad of having sex with one guy they had sex with a half dozen men one right after the other. Furthermore, women can have multiple climaxes, so its possible to have sex all day long. The reason for this behaviour was simple. When a woman gave birth all the men in the village knew that it might be their child, so they took care of the baby. If only one man was looking out for the mother and child and that man died (a very common occurance in those days) then the mother and child would be one their own. This happens all the time today, there are so many single mothers who struggle to look after their children. But in the past, since all the men in the community felt responsible for all of the children, then it didn't matter if the biological father (or mother) died, the child would be looked after.
When society changed and marriage was invented, the female orgasm wasn't up to the challenge. That is one of the reasons why women have troubles reaching orgasm during sex [the other big reason is that many women feel like they have to pee when they approach orgasm and instictively hold back, thus preventing the orgasm].
To cope, modern women need to find other ways to reach orgasm during sex. One method is to mastrabate (in your case with a vibrator) before sex. Your husband can help you, he'll enjoy it. When you are able to reach orgasm have him penetrate you. If you time it right you should reach orgasm at about the same time.
2006-08-29 18:02:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She: "Honey, I'd like to start using some sex toys."
He: "Heck no, I'm totally opposed to that."
No, I really don't see that response happening. No guy is going to be opposed to the idea of doing something different and a little kinky. You can totally work it in while the two of you are having sex, but even if you're doing it on you're own I expect he'll be totally on board to watch.
2006-08-27 21:15:11 · answer #3 · answered by EQ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you can also do it if you rub there side to side or in small little circles with your fingers but right above it - not right on it - or with the showerhead too - it is possible - just takes some work to figure it out. hee hee :o) If you guys try different things - it will work.
Most women cannot orgasm just from sex - someone - one of you needs to be rubbing you cl*t***s with their fingers or him giving you or*al sex. - it will take some time to find out what you like and how you like it.
2006-08-27 21:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you have discovered you are able to orgasm which is good. Now that you know it can be done you have to teach him how to do it. sex is all about communication.
2006-08-28 04:52:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him use the vibrator on you and then when you have come, still let him penetrate you. You don't have to tell him that he is not satifying you, just say you want to try new things, I bet he will find it a big turn on. HTH : )
2006-08-27 21:20:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just pretent your enjoying it with him, then when he goes out to work and you are home alone get out the vibrator and enjoy yourself.Masturbation has always been proven to give a better orgasism than actual sex it is not unusual to feel this way.
2006-08-27 21:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by catsclaw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will score big points if you allow him to use an aid as well. Say a 20 something blond with nice ta tas. Trust me...he will not give a hoot about your toy when he sees his toy. You will both be very happy. Hope this helps.
2006-08-27 21:03:14 · answer #8 · answered by An Unhappy Yahoo User 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey u got two holes just when he is workin on u u better use it in ur *** then u will have two orgasms at a time
2006-08-27 21:26:46 · answer #9 · answered by littleboy j 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i agree with what kc had written.. i only have an orgasm when i rub with my fingers during sex.
2006-08-27 21:04:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋