child support, visitation, parental rights?

Question

so i dated this chick....she got pregnant....i'm the father of the child and i haven't seen the little girl..not cause i dont want to or havent been invited...i'm just ****** scared because i aint ready to be a father..i didnt want to bring a child into this world...todays society this was..unmarried with a girl i hardly knew...i just wanted her at my beck in call....i wanted her to have an abortion..she said she couldnt because of medical risks and she didnt want to risk her future of children..then i told her adoption...she didnt want to do that either and felt her child would get better than being in a foster care but i think she is stupid and selfish....now she is filing for full custody, suppport and visitation. she has been harassing me and i have proof i can make it look like it's her...
yes i was after her in the very beginning to go out with me....but i dont want a kid...i am 27 years old gonna be 28 in december...what can i do?

i cant give up my parental rights becuz i still have to pay child support but i barely make 1000 a month....and thats coach 3 jobs...if i show evidence she is harassing me on all forms of communication will i get out of this situation...can i make her look bad in court by saying this?

shes making me pay her back from the dna test and if i don't by wed she is filing it with her other medical bills and stuff in the order to show cause...to be honest......she has tried to talk to me about the situation but the ***** beats aroudn the bush and saids when she talks to be its like talking to a wall..i thought she was lying about being pregnant but my sister told me she wasnt....and now she obviously wasnt this is the worst thing that has happened to my family....everyone saids i'm immature and selfish and that may be but the girl is more selfish for bring a child in this world we live in today.......

i have told some of my friends...girls especially...the ones i meet that i don't have a kid but they find out anyhow...but i have to tell them the ***** doesnt want me to see the child so i don't have a kid...

email me your suggestions...
[e-mail]

This is the chick and the baby......

http://myspace-059.vo.llnwd.net/00894/95/09/894449059_s.jpg


This is ME: [e-mail]

http://myspace-777.vo.llnwd.net/00220/77/76/220786777_l.jpg

my dad has a brain tumor and is the dean of san jose state business school....my parents will have to help me or i have to move from LA back home and work in a supermarket....i want to be a comedian and writer

i never even finished college because i wanted to play semi pro soccer so now i have 2 coaching jobs that my income is base on.

Answer 1

Hey pal.. you wanted sex with her ... YOU laid in the bed with her so the child that came from that is PART of you you freakin jerk! How could you possibly not want it ?? You have a lot of growing up to do and by God that state is going to make you start NOW... pay for your mistake the REST of your life!! Do the poor girl and your child a favor and sign ALL your rights over because your the one who does NOT deserve the baby or her... do them a favor and sign it over and pay for it... If I were her you would NEVER get visitation! YOU are the one that makes these fathers look bad... because you are such an inmmature selffish child.. one of these days you will grow up and want your child by then I hope to GOd it is too late... and do US all a favor here at Yahoo.... and PLEASE don't ever take your dick out of your pants AGAIN.... unless you intend to take responsibilty for what comes of it you idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since you don't make but a thousand a month... I hope she gets about 600 of that from your lousy *** a month!! You worthless piece of pig ****, go kill yourself! God be with your child the rest of his life, because you don't want to ! Oh and by the way... don't bother with th freakin trying to start trouble and say she is harrassing you... the judge will take one look at you and all they would have to do is read this and your DONE!

Answer 2

I am not going to be judgmental as to the immature actions of both you and the mother. You both need counseling so the child is raised correctly.

Your parental rights are just that -- rights. If you forfeit them you will still have to pay child support. At no time can the mother deprive you of your rights to visitation. If she tries to do so you will need to get a lawyer that specialized in the type of custody battle that you are in for. From what you have written it sounds like she is being coached by someone that has a monetary motive. GET AN Attorney NOW. Don't go into court unless you have one because it sounds like she does.

Get the advice of an Attorney and get it quick. Yep it will cost big dollars and if she is really harassing you he will be able to put a stop to that too.

I may sound like a old foggy but creating a new life requires that a person also accepts the responsibility. You now have the choice of being a part of your child's life or have her mother make you out to be a dead beat ogar for which your daughter will have a warped feeling for men that will cause her no end of grief as an adult. Do the right thing and take a stand to get joint and equal custody.

Answer 3

Just an opinion: Maybe you should first at least see the little girl even if you're scared. At least go see her once. The world is full of fathers were didn't feel ready to be a father and who were scared, regardless of whether they were married to the mother, young, old, or whatever.

After you see the little girl who is your daughter decide whether you think she's worth getting to know and getting to love or not. Every parent has to get to know their child. Every child is a stranger when its born and parents don't know it yet. f you decide to visit your daughter make it clear to the mother that's all you'll be doing and there will be no building any relationship with the mother. Neither can there be any fighting.

If you can look at your little daughter and still feel you don't want to get to know her and be her father (even if you don't live with her) then give up your parental rights, and tell the mother of the child to tell her daughter that her father wasn't someone who was able to be a good father, and he thought she'd be better off without him

You told her you didn't want a child. She wanted to have the child. If she has to raise the child alone and with the child's father involved that's how it is.

You need to meet your daughter, decide one way or another - get to know her and watch her grow or sign away your rights.

After that you may still have a child support situation to deal with, but - really - that's fair enough. After all, you were willing to essentially use the child's mother for your own purposes; and there can be a price to pay for that.

She has a right to bring you to court over this, but if she's calling and writing and coming over and e.mailing etc. ask a judge to order her to stop attempting to communicate with you.

Whether or not you are ready or afraid to try to be a father, ask yourself if you are really a person who can have a little daughter and have nothing to do with her. If you are, the child is better off without you. If you aren't, the get to know your little daughter. I just hope no judge forces fathering on you if your child would be better off without you.

Answer 4

She is not harassing you, She is within her legal rights to serve you with court papers. You shouldn't go around having sex with people and especially unprotected sex. There is no way out. It is your child, and you will be paying for the next 21 years. Once the court orders are established, if you don't pay, you can have your license suspended and go to jail. Deadbeat dads go to jail. If you cant afford to pay, the judge will make you get a better job, work a second job, or whatever you need to do to pay. That baby is a part of you, you should be ashamed of yourself! You don't have to love the mother, but you do need to do the right thing for your child, your flesh and blood. Do your parents know what a disgrace you are?
Boys like you disgust me! It is time for you to grow up now and be a man. Watch where you are putting your penis and you won't have to worry about this again in the future. I feel sorry for that poor baby, being stuck with a loser of a father like you!!! You don't deserve that precious baby. God please watch over and protect that poor innocent precious child, Amen!

Answer 5

In "Today's Society", you just became a major contributor! Suck it up! 28? You sound like youre 18?? Act like a responsible adult.
First, start by referring to 'the mother of your child' instead of 'chick'. It'll help you visualize things in a positive manner for the future and not like a complete jerk.
Go to court every time youre called or you will lose your rights cuz you still produced a child and youll still have to help support her.
Your baby girl is not to blame and all she has to say about it is in her eyes and smile and laughter and hugs and kisses that will be very special to you, and only you!
Your life has changed. Try to look for the positves and help to raise her with the ideals you so inconveniently forgot. What's done is done now right? Move on courageously and kindly in your new role as a father and teach her what you know, come to have pride in yourself and her. She will love you unconditionally, that's what kids do. I'm sure she's a very beautiful girl and cant wait to grow to love you! Congrats, Daddy. Good luck.

Answer 6

No you cant get out of this because she is "harassing" you. The most you can do is get a order on her to stay away from you or not to contact you.

My BEST advice (as I have a kid with a father who wants nothing to do with him) is to do an out of court settlement with her. The courts will take you at the Max more then likely. Also if she has any medical bills from the child you will have to split those too.

If you dont want to be the active "Daddy" tell her that but tell her that you are willing to pay a portion of child support.

Remember Babies are not objects they are humans and they will know the truth and creat there own judgments about the situation when they get older.

Answer 7

Every child deserves a good father, so be one. At 27 you are old enough to take on the responsibility. Even tho you don't want a child you have one, so be a man and not a 17 year old kid.

Answer 8

You are such A baby It's not going to be seen as harassing and your going to look real stupid. Why not just take care of your child and stop trying to find excuses to get out of your responsibilities she is A innocent child grow up cry baby.

Answer 9

It doesn't matter if you can prove she is harassing you. All you can get is a restraining order.
You need to grow up, if you are really going to be 28 in December, get a better job, grow up and be a man. It really sounds like you aren't.
You are the babies father and whether you like it or not it is time to prove you can be mature.
Even if you wanted her in the beginning but don't know it doesn't life has taken a different turn, you know have a kid, GET OVER IT!
GROW UP! TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!

Answer 10

You have got to be the biggest loser I have heard of...Apparently you think with your penis and not the brain in your head...if you can't deal with the consequences then you shouldn't be having sex. You are going to be stuck paying for this child till its 18. She is not harrassing you...she is trying to support your baby...stop being an idiot and take care of your responsibilities