What do you think of my daughter's crazy "liberal" college?

Question

My daughter goes to a Big Ten University.
She got a manic-depressive, schizophrenic, alcoholic, pot, smoking, alternative music listening, Goth girl for a roommate.
My daughter is NORMAL.
This girl would threaten my daughter, watch her sleep, bring scary people in the room, write nasty notes to her, stay up in the room puking nights, eat all my daughter's food, use all her stuff, and more.

When I told the University what was going on - they accused ME of being TOO JUDGMENTAL. All this stuff was happening to my kid and I was at fault for not liking the way this girl dressed and acted.
They sent them to FRIENDSHIP counseling!
Liberals are crazy and this person was upset and wouldn't help us because my daughter was in Campus Republicans - that's the truth!

Not paranoid in the least - thanks for asking.

Went to college - NOT simple or ignorant.

h20dog - I talked to many people who could not do anything before I talked to the liberal person who COULD. She was more concerned with PC and my daughter's political affiliation than the nut job sitting in a chair by my kid's bed and watching her sleep (while stoned).

Have to let you know - this is BEHIND us and she graduates in May 2007.
And - STILL in Campus Republicans!

Larry - this story is 100% true. I had severe headaches that whole semester. She did stand up for herself but she is 6 hours away and I could not protect her and felt like crap so I called. The woman WAS a liberal and my daugher's and my conservative views came under attack from this woman. I WISH it were NOT true!!!

Linus - she got through it but I am not OVER IT and I am mad at the school - and liberals in general - as you have seen by my posts I guess.

Joey - you are probably not going to believe this but...the Goth nut thanked my daughter for getting her back on her meds and making her a better person at the end of the year. Sounds wierd but true. I do not lie on the internet - what would it prove?
My daughter, once it was over, told me this made her stronger, but she does not talk to Liz when she sees her.

Answer 1

You folks need to give this lady a break.

For those of you who think this woman was wrong obviously can't relate with how a parent feels when a child of thiers is being somewhat threatened. Moms will do what is necessary to protect their children and that includes grown children.

Ask yourself this, if you were going through the same thing as this girls daughter was and it was clear that you were unable to rectify the situation on your own, what would your parents do if they found out about it? 90% of your parents would do the same thing this woman did. The other 10% I feel sorry for if their parents aren't interested in helping.

Also, ask yourself this... if this is your little sister and she is having the same problem, what are you big brothers going to do?

Careful who you ridicule. Fate has a funny way of coming back to bite us.

To the Mom... congrats on raising what sounds like a fine young lady. Give her my best on her future Graduation.... She did good!

As for the crazy liberal college thing.... It is scary. If a young adult is unfortunate enough to be negatively influenced by such an establishment they usually start singing another tune when they get out "in the real world." *lol* Wait til they have kids!! That's usually a rude awakening.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Certainly a parent's nightmare. Politely ask that they find your daughter a suitable roomate. Those schools are large and I bet they have room somewhere.
If that doesn't work have her live off-campus. Maybe make a recommendation to the university, for students living on campus, fill out a lifestyle questionnaire and try to team up with like minded kids.
Talk to someone other than the person that told you, you were being too judgmental. There are other options I'm sure. Find a sorority or something. You can't let your daughter stay in that environment or her studies will suffer. Good Luck

Answer 3

I think that you are blowing things all out of proportion! First of all, your daughter is an adult, and if she couldn't tolerate the situation, she needed to do something other than tell you all about it hoping that YOU would do something. (Or maybe, just maybe, she told you all that stuff to cover up for something she did...skipped class and blamed it on the roommate for example.)
You are extremely judgemental!! What the heck is "normal"? Why do you assume the other girl is all of those things you call her? Just because she dresses differently??
Part of going to college is the learning that you do outside of the classroom, like how to get along with others and how to stand up for yourself if you've been wronged.
Manic-depression is now called "bi-polar" and it is a disease. It is NOT a choice that someone makes.
Wow! Alternative music!?! Now that's subversive, isn't it? (Good Lord , Woman, why didn't you wrap her in cotton and send her off to Oral Robert's University??)


If "all" that stuff was happening to your daughter, and all you chose to complain about to the university was not liking how the girl/woman "dressed and acted", you were wrong.

This has nothing to do with Liberals v Conservatives. It has to do with letting your daughter grow up. I know that you Conservatives hate the idea of anyone thinking a problem through and finding a woorkable answer, but that is what SHE (your daughter) needs to do. By the way, all Democrats are not liberal and all Republicans are not conservative.

How did the friendship counseling work? Or would your daughter be afraid to tell you if she even considered someone else's point of view?
Just wait til your baby comes home with pink hair!! (If she doesn't have some safe rebellion, she may have a more serious one.....like George W.; he went to cocaine for his rebellion!)

Answer 4

I can't believe that so many answers ehre say you should have sent your daughter to a college with a larger contingent of republicans. This is silly, your daughter was clearly in a bad - and certainly abnormal - situation, although I would blame incompetent administration as a much larger factor than the school being conservative or liberal.

These days college is where kids learn to fend for themselves and figure out how to operate in the world without relying on their parents so much. Hopefully your daughter asked you for help, if not, you should realize that she is probably capable of handling more than you think.

A corollary to this is that in college you are supposed to meet people that are different from you. There are always crazies in the bunch, but the number of perfectly normal people far outwieghs them. This is pretty much like how the rest of a person's life is going to be, and if you never figure out how to interact with others, you end up cutting yourself off from society.

Which is to say that if anyone claims that the solution to this problem is to go to another school, they are foolish. You won't always be surrounded by people identical to you, other people won't always believe the same things that you do, and you won't always have a huge base of supprt for what you do. The point is to learn how to adapt to these situations, and be stronger for it.

Heck, if anyone thinks she should change schools, why not just go to a religious school? Why not home school? Heck, why not just live at home and learn from pre-screened books?

Answer 5

I think you need to relax. Its a shame when parents teach their kids to label other people. Instead of judging people from what they wear, and assuming that just because she's a goth, she's crazy, why don't you focus on something else. Join a book club or something.

"My daughter is NORMAL"... I'm sure she's an angel, and a great daughter, but there is NO SUCH THING AS "NORMAL".

The moment you complained to the school is when things turned sour. Your daughter is in college. LET HER STAND UP FOR HERSELF. Those are HER problems, not yours. You can't shelter her from all the "freaks" in this world. You have to understand that.

If you were so concerned about those "crazy" Liberals, then why send your daughter to a LIBERAL SCHOOL???

And one more thing:
Liberals can be JUST AS CRAZY as conservatives.

Answer 6

I went to a big ten University in Evanston . I walked in to my room and found out my roommate was a black homosexual with gold hair. I was this white slice of bread from suburban New York. My first conversation he introduced himself as Henry , but call him "Skippy" He had older men by older I mean out of college coming around. My RA asked me a week into school if I wanted a change, I told him no. I never really became close to the kid, but I remember getting really angry because other students were pounding on my door at 3am to make fun of him . I had my own clique because I was a an athlete on scholarship, and was confident in my own sexuality. Anyway I defiantly became unshielded in a hurry which was good for me. Eight weeks in he dropped and I had a single for the rest of the year. Your daughter is at least 18 . She can handle it and should. If she does not like something her roommate is doing she should not hesitate to tell the girl. I am as liberal as they come , but that never kept me from fighting for my space and laying down some ground rules. She will laugh about it in a year.

Answer 7

That would be a nightmare. I am sure that the counseling is making it worse ( the goth girl will resent being forced into counseling and having her time wasted, and take it out on your daughter later)

Why can't they just find her another dorm room? You are paying them enough I bet. But I think alot of this depends on your daughter. She is grown now and needs to assert herself to the powers that be, loudly and often, until they do something. "Mom" calling on the phone doesn't have the same effect at university.

I just can't imagine this NOT affecting your daughters ability to study and focus on school. Gosh. I don't know what I would do.

Answer 8

If your daughter is an adult let her handle it. A University is not going to take a parent serious, because they assume that the student is an adult.Also your first two years at a University are general classes, meaning the student learns how to work well with others and how to deal with certain situations. She will be alright

Answer 9

You know, you really need to get a hold of yourself. What makes you think you are better than other people. I keep seeing you put B.S. up here stereotyping about poor people being on Welfare, now I see you generalizing that if they are taking up for the roommate, they MUST be liberal.

All you assume is if anyone isn't like your precious daughter, then they aren't normal. Why did you put in alternative music? I don't listen to it, but that has nothing to do with her drug abuse.

I understand as well that the roommate needs to stop doing the things that she is doing, but you trying to make this into a political agenda is absurd...

EDIT: Then apparently, your daughter got through it, so quit crying...DAMN....

Answer 10

Sounds like, perhaps, you may need to consider one of two things:
A) Pull your daughter out of this college. They may have an agenda that's too far afield for the way you trained her to live and act.
or
B) Step back and see how your daughter will react to the fact that all life is not a Republican thing, and other people with different styles can and will manipulate and use her if she does nothing, and allows her parents to step in anytime she has a problem.
In short--this is her battle. Support her every way posible, but remember, she must battle this if she is to truly live. Otherwise--consider one of the more moderate colleges and transfer her pronto.