Why does so much sympathy go towards the alcoholics? I have watched my father deteriorate for years...where is my help? My heart is broken... I know that there are groups and such and I am a member but I get angry,,,,,Why am I part of the "ill" when I did nothing wrong?...I am adult taking care of a child!
2006-08-27 18:09:07 · 7 answers · asked by hipergirl22 7 in Health ➔ Women's Health
The first thing you do is get over the sympathy. Being an alcoholic is a disease and although it cannot be cured it can be stopped. I spent 11 years of my life taking care of a husband that was intent on destroying his life. I finially decided to take care of me and our children. So although my heart was broken I started putting us first. The only person you are responsible for is you. You cannot make your father stop drinking any more than I could stop my ex-husband. But I can tell you one thing, when you start focusing on yourself and stop letting him drag you down you will gradually feel better. The anger may not go away, but you will start to enjoy life again. Your dad has to decide that he wants drinking out of his life, and until then it's kind of like a sinking ship. You just have to decide if you want to go down with the ship or save yourself and hope for the best for your dad. Love him and let him know you are there for him when he makes that decision. I wish you all the luck in the world. Take care of yourself because, trust me, no-one else will.
2006-08-27 18:41:52 · answer #1 · answered by Tammy G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I have live through the same thing. There is help for you. Alanon. If you can get to them try going to this site for books and help.
Hazelden Foundation
Nonprofit organization providing rehabilitation, education, prevention, and professional services and publications in chemical dependency and related disorders.
Category: Minnesota > Center City > Mental Health Clinics and Practices
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2006-08-28 01:20:17 · answer #2 · answered by GiGi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
join alanon or alateen. I dont give a damn what my old man did to himself. he ruined my teen years and more, and i refuse to deal with his garbage,and back then there wasnt any help for the family of these drunks at all.
2006-08-28 01:16:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need help because you are taking care of him. The healthy thing to do is to let him go.
2006-08-28 01:14:16 · answer #4 · answered by theinfalliblenena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes your turn will come. Have you tried Al-Anon? its for the other half of the Alchoholic family. Sorry to hear.... you can even find it on the web....
2006-08-28 01:17:02 · answer #5 · answered by CWB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because the child always wants to be "worth" the Alco. quitting. and you feel like you were not worth it. It's not about you,it's about his unresolved pain. and if you realize this or not. He feels as bad as you do. He just can't tell you
2006-08-28 01:14:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please get help for your codependency. http://www.thewindsofchange.org/codependency.html
2006-08-28 01:25:40 · answer #7 · answered by ItsJustMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋