I am stuck for answers with a question to do with divorce and the functions of the family...PLEASE HELP!?

Question

The question i've been presented with is...
"Outline how a divorce may affect the functioning of the family. You need to discuss physical, economic, social, emotional, psychological, cultural and moral functions".
Can anybody give me some hints or does anybody know where I can find out the answers? Any help would be appreciated.

Answer 1

You can try Google Scholar? You can look up scholar papers on almost any subject. Go to google.com, click on the More>> link then scroll down to scholar

Just keep in mind, these are someone elses hard work, remember to cite if you use any of it

Let me know if it helps..

Answer 2

You really should go to the bookstore for all of these answers especially if it is a school project. However, if your looking for advice for yourself find someone that has gone though a divorce they can tell you all the effects it has on the family.

Answer 3

geo cities . com / parentingsteps had to put it that way they wouldn't let me write it any other way. This is a step parenting site but we are all mostly divorced step parents rasing kids on this site i have put links on there check out some of the links I think they will help

Answer 4

1

Answer 5

center your topic
enter each ? physical etc.
put about 3 things under each
go from there

Answer 6

Corina L . Answered pretty well ! Good-night !

Answer 7

g to
divorce.com. Lots of good info there...

Answer 8

why dont you open your psycology book and read it all the answers are there.

Answer 9

thalk about
1 the cost of divorce
2. custody arrangement

HERE'S THE CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE
Divorce has a major impact on the family. Every individual of the family will suffer short and long term effects. There is much debate over whether a divorce is the wise choice in the midst of infidelity, physical, psychological and/or sexual abuse at the hands of their spouse. It can be argued that divorce is the best solution for the children of high conflict, aggressive and hostile marriages. The fact remains that divorce carries with it many negative effects on children, teens, spouses, parents and the extended family members. Divorce impacts the careers of people and the well being of society. Long term negative consequences are experienced regardless of the accepted Biblical grounds for the allowance of divorce. Marriage partners choose defense mechanism instead of healing to endure the conflict of a marriage gone badly. It would be wise for all people to recognize the damage caused to the family by divorce.



People still choose divorce in the face of overwhelming data that verifies the harm it causes. Everett Worthington, Jr. describes the state of mind and digression couples take when moving toward divorce. He states,



"Defenses help people cope with pain. They also shove the partners farther down the slippery slope toward disengagement and divorce. When interactions become fixed into long-term stable patterns, partners conclude that the relationship is poor. From then onward, they search for data that support their conclusion. They ignore data that disapprove their conclusions. Whatever the partner does that might be construed as positive, the spouse discounts as being temporary, done at the instigation of the counselor, or failing to reflect the partner?s true feelings. Conclusions about the relationship provide the backdrop against which the people interpret the next day's interaction." He concludes, "Threatening divorce sets people thinking about the possibility, and what people think about can become a reality. People pay attention to the negative aspects of their relationship selectively once they begin to think about divorce, and they look for alternatives and selectively focus on the positive aspects of the alternatives." [1]



People do not consider the great consequences to all the members of the family when they take the path of divorce as their solution to their problems. They will justify in their own minds the right to end the marriage, regardless of the obvious pain it will cause. To those who are considering divorce as the solution to their misery of being married, let me encourage you to consider the facts first.



Scriptural Direction



Our Lord Jesus Christ offers encouragement to those who are being hammered by the damaging effects of divorce. The Scriptures encourage those who are victims of divorce to continue their lives in hope of a healed future. The affects of divorce remain for many years, but there is life after divorce. In many ways divorce is more difficult to overcome than the loss of a loved one to death. Complete healing can come to all parties of divorce when they allow the marvelous grace of God to bathe their wounds.



The information that describes the impact of divorce on the family is very discouraging. These statistics can devastate an individual and can bring on mental, physical and spiritual depression. Therefore consider the following Scripture before considering the effects of divorce on the family. There is hope in Christ Jesus for a better future for you and your family members. Please spend the next few moments considering the following Scriptures from the New King James version of the Bible.



"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Galatians 6:9 NKJV



"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength." Isaiah 26:3-4



"But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:26



"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6



"We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed ? always carrying about in our body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body." II Corinthians 4: 8-10



"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33



The Impact of Divorce on Families



Facts from the Heritage Foundation published in 2000:



· Social science research reveals that the effects of divorce not only impact a child into adulthood, but they also affect the next generation of children as well.



· Children from divorced families drop out of school at twice the rate of children of intact families.



· The single best predictor of teen suicide is parental divorce and living in a single parent household.



· Children of divorced parents are significantly more likely to become delinquent by the age 15, than are children whose own parents are married.



· Drug use in children is lowest in the intact married family.



· There is a lower rate of graduation from high school and college and fewer college courses finished.



· Children of divorced read, spell, and have math skills that are lower than intact families.



· Children of divorce repeat a grade more frequently than children of intact families.



· The college attendance rate is 60% lower for children of divorced families compared to children of intact families.



· Divorce has been found to be associated with a higher incidence of depression, withdrawal from friends and family; aggressive, impulsive, or hyperactive behavior; and either withdrawing from participation in the classroom or becoming disruptive.



· Adult children of divorced parents experience mental health problems significantly more often than do the adult children of intact families.



· Children younger than five years of age are found to be vulnerable to emotional conflicts occurring during the separation and divorce of the parents.



· Older children often withdraw from their home and seek intimacy away from the home.



· If divorce occurs when they are teenagers (12 to 15 years of age), they tend to react by attempting to avoid growing up or by attempting to speed through adolescence.



· Teenagers tend to experience increased aggression, loss of self-confidence, and loneliness.



· Boys of divorced families are more likely to be depressed than girls.



· The child's emotional suffering can be played out over the next three decades of the child's life.



· Divorced fathers are less likely to have a close relationship with their children; and the younger the children at the time of the divorce the less likely the father will have regular contact with the children.



· 40% of parents are so stressed by the divorce that their child-rearing behavior suffers. They frequently change from rigid to permissive behavior and from emotional distant to emotionally dependent.



· After divorce, the children usually become more emotionally distant from both the custodial and non-custodial parent.



· Boys, living with their mothers, respond with more hostility to parental divorce than girls do.



· Girls fare worse when living with adult men, either their father or stepfather.



· As adults, children are 50% less likely to be close to their parents as children of intact families.



· Divorce diminishes the capability of children to handle conflict.



· Married children of divorce are more likely to be unhappy, to escalate conflicts, to reduce communication with their spouses, to argue, to shout when arguing, and to assault their spouses physically when they argue.



· Fear of peer rejection is twice as likely among adolescents of divorced families.



· Children of divorced parents do more poorly in ratings by their parents and teachers on their peer relationships, hostility toward adults, anxiety, withdrawal, inattention, and aggression compare to children with intact families.



· Clinical depression rates overall were highest among divorced women, but divorced men showed the highest rates among those who had been previously depressed. Depression was more acute among those divorced who did not have a consistent conflict, and among those who were socially isolated.



· 50% of divorced men in American pay their full support consistently.



· 25% of divorced men make partial inconsistent payments



· 25% of divorced men pay no support.



· The probability of divorce for children of divorced parents is twice the risk of children of intact families.



· Daughters of divorced parents tend to divorce more frequently than do the sons of divorced parents, with the risk being as high as 87% during the earlier years of marriage for daughters of divorced parents than for intact families.



· When the parents of both spouses have divorced, the risk of divorce is increased by as much as 620% in the early years of marriages, which declines to 20% by the 11th year of marriage.



· Following a divorce, children are more likely to stop practicing their faith.[2]



· Women and children suffer most economically. According to the U.S. Census figures, 21% of recently divorced women were below the poverty line, compared to only 9% of recently divorced men.[3]



The Emotional Impact of Divorce on the Spouses



Divorce just does not suddenly happen. John Gottman contributes this demise to negatives in a relationship that tear down the fibers of marriage.



"It's important to keep in mind that negativity comes in many different guises. A marriage can be harmed by too much of it or certain types of it. Namely, when negative energy includes great stubbornness, contempt, defensiveness, or withdrawal from interaction, the results on the marriage can be devastating. And when a couple fails to find the equilibrium of a stable marital style, then they are vulnerable to having those corrosive, negative forces eat away at their marriage." [4]



Usually it is the result of years of difficulty and indecision. Once the pain, bitterness, and confusion of a broken relationship reach the separation stage, divorce may be inevitable. Both spouses have a flood of emotions ranging from anger to uncertainty. Divorce is a drastic step for a couple to take. The results of which involve strong feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt, betrayal, embarrassment and shame.



Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Gary Sibcy allude to this as boiling emotions that damage communication between two people.



"One family expert characterized the process of divorce negotiations as 'one of the most demanding tasks that rational beings are expected to perform." And based on what I've seen, he's right. And there's little wonder why. In some form or another, the battle over the things of divorce brings together a rush of boiling emotions ' including abandonment, anxiety, betrayal, inadequacy, loneliness, rage." [5]



Divorce is a stigma stamped on the name of each spouse that follows them for the entire life. They are marked as failures by the Christian community, and considered a statistic in the masses of society of people who could not make it. Divorce must be mourned just like a death, and yet, its results will never fade.



The long range effects of divorce on the spouses affect every aspect of their life. Their social life takes a dramatic change. Their "ecosystem of sorts is shaken." Again John Gottman illustrates this in his exposure in dealing with couples.



"The balance between negativity and positively seems to be the key dynamic in what amounts to the emotional ecology of every marriage. Like the atmosphere or oceans, the health of an intimate relationship is an ecosystem of sorts, one where there are crucial rates of emotional exchange. If these rates are in balance, love thrives; when they get far out of balance, then the love between a couple can start to wither and die, like an endangered species starved of its basic nutrients." [6]



Suddenly they find themselves alone in a very corrupt world of dating. The guilt of a failed relationship with a person they promised their life to bleeds over into any new relationship they form. The stress is demanding as they try to balance their recovery from divorce, the pressure of their children to reframe from any new relationships with the opposite sex, and their own emotions. Jealousy and rejection become major triggers for uncontrollable outburst of anger and/or depression. This is especially true if their former spouse seems to move on with their life. Self-esteem and one's ability to trust the opposite sex freezes them in place. They feel stuck in place with issues of future relationships, remarriage, and step-parenting hovering over them, like a storm cloud waiting to pour rain. They are literally on a rollercoaster of emotions. Godly counsel can help them formulate a plan to climb out of this episode in their life, but they will always be scarred.



The Impact of Divorce on the Age Groups of Children



The Impact of Divorce on Infants: Birth to 18 Months



The results of divorce on infants can be identified in their behavior:





More irritability, crying and fussing

Changes in their sleeping habits, napping, and other daily routines

Nervous and fearful

Uneasy stomach

Loss of appetite

Irregular eating habits


Infants notice the change within the home in the energy level and emotional state of the parent. Older infants realize when one parent is missing from the home.



The Impact of Divorce on Toddlers: 18 Months to 3 Years



The impact on toddlers is readily seen:





Difficulty is seen in separating from parents

Anger

Loss of learned skills such as toilet training

Sleeping and napping routines change

Nightmares

Irregular habits forming

Wanting more attention than normal

An increase in crying


Toddlers recognize when one parent no longer lives at home and may attempt to show empathy to the sad parent.



The Impact of Divorce on Pre-schoolers: 3 to 5 years



The impact is seen through:



· Uncertain feelings about the future



· Feeling a sense of responsibility



· Keeping anger trapped inside



· Nightmares



· Unpleasant thoughts or ideas



The Impact of Divorce on Elementary Children: 6 to 11 Years



"If the marital conflict results in a divorce, the scars run deeper. Yes, there are marriages where this is truly the only way to stop the fighting. And many books based on studies of post-divorce families have tried to paint a picture that it's not as bad as we thought. Well, it is at least as bad as we think it is, if not worse. The positive outcomes are said to occur when there is post-divorce cooperation between the parents. So how many amicable marriages are you aware of? Besides, we are still just learning about the long-term effects of growing up in a divorced family, especially on the ability of individuals to trust the vows of marriage."[7]



Children of divorce families are at great emotional disadvantage. Their longing for their parents to keep the family intact out weighs the solutions offered to them for recovery. These children never lose their desire for their parents to remarry. The exposure to marital conflict, the chronic tension, abusive behavior, and direct involvement of these children in the breakup of the family brings significant emotional and medical problems.



Children have a more difficult time processing their emotions than do adults. Children of divorced families have less parental attention, less love and supervision, and therefore, they struggle more with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. [8]Much of the time they have less information about what is happening. Parents tend to keep them in the dark. However, children face many of the same emotions and experiences as do adults of divorce. They understand the concept of one parent no longer living with the family, and that one parent no longer loves the other. They need help to process the feelings of abandonment and loss of their loved one. They undergo the same challenges of:



· Fear



· Anger



· Grief



· Depression



· Elation



· Worries about physical concerns



· Shame



· Hopes of reconciliation



· Sadness



· Financial trouble



· Anticipation



· Anxiety



· Embarrassment



· Self-blame



· Abandonment



Children are more likely to act out their pain than adults. This behavior can be expressed in any of the following ways:



· Physical complaints, such as headaches, nausea, or sore muscles



· Recurrent thoughts of running away from home, or actually running away



· Alcohol or substance abuse



· Frequent absences from school



· Poor performance in school



· Frequent outbursts of shouting, crying, or irritability



· Lack of interests in friends



· Difficulty with relationships



· Fear of death, or fascination with death



· Social isolation



These can also be strong indicators of depression in the child. Divorce can cause a child to develop a distorted view themselves and of his or her world.



The Impact of Divorce on the Teens: 11 to 18 Years



Divorce is a difficult adjustment for all concerned but it is especially difficult for the teenager. By nature they are already experiencing many changes in their physical and mental makeup. Divorce is not an added burden that they accept very well. Erik Erikson's Model of Psychosocial Development has eight stages. He viewed the person as moving through a series of eight psychosocial crises over the course of the life span and each crisis takes on a unique significance at the given period of the life cycle. Each stage builds upon the former to influence the future. The person's health depends upon the successful resolution of the crises before them. The Identity vs. Role Confusion (puberty to young adulthood) stage is when an adolescent resolves the crisis of identity in their life. [9]Divorce throws a monkey wrench into their development into adulthood. Divorce confuses their need for clear boundaries between themselves and their parents. The lack of a stable home and the loss of their secure and safe haven can cause maladjustments in their developmental pattern. The person will have difficulty forming healthy intimacy.[10]



The results on the teen are evident:



· Anger and hatred



· Confusion over staying at home to help their caregiver or leaving the home to quickly in order to not be a burden on the family



· Loss of identity



· Parentified (becoming the parent to their siblings)



· Regression to childhood or appears to be much older and mature than their age allows



· Disassociate with peers their own age



· Very rebellious, antisocial behavior



· Conflict with parents or Parental Alienation Syndrome



· Money worries



· Questioning the validity of marriage



· Loneliness



· May try to take advantage of both parents



These behaviors are the result of the teen's sense of responsibility for the divorce and their attempt to fix the family. They have a need to protect their parents at all cost or action. They deeply need the attachment relationship which God intended them to have.



"Relationships define the quality of our lives. If we have safe, secure marriages, we're generally happy and fulfilled; if our marriages are tortured seas of strife and mistrust, we?re generally sad, confused, in pain. If our relationships with our children are sensitive, open, and loving, woven together with strong, resilient filaments, they can weather the storms of teen rebellion and those awkward years that follow. But if our relations with our children are forced and dissonant, each side mistrusting the other, rebelling can become open warfare, and the years that follow can deteriorate into permanent estrangement. Attachment is an overarching system that explains the principles, the rules, and the emotions of relationships " how they work and how they don't, how we fell when we're with the ones we love the most." [11]



The Impact of Divorce on Siblings



Brothers and sisters take on different behaviors once divorce has occurred. Many factors affect their behavior. Basically, they fear being abandoned by their parents.



Drs. Clinton and Sibcy refer to this as a fundamental human reaction.



"Fear of abandonment is the fundamental human fear. It is so basic and so profound that it emerges even before we develop a language to describe it. It is so powerful that it activates our body's autonomic nervous system, causing our hearts to race, our breathing to become shallow and rapid, our stomachs to quiver, and our hands to shake. We feel a sense of panic that will not be assuaged until we are close to our caregivers ' until we regain a feeling of security"[12]



Many times children will retreat into a responding mode that never regains a sense of safety or a place of safe haven. They react to the possible lack of attention from their parents due to the time involved in the divorce process by one of two ways:



· They become more closely attached to the sibling or



· They engage in conflict with them.



Divorce will bring the best or worse out in a person. Children are no exception to this rule. Their emotional stress of going through a divorce can cause great confusion and anger in the life of a child. Some children can find nurturance and support in the sibling and some cannot. Thus Amato raises the question,



"Do children of divorce have differences from children from intact families that require help to adjust to? The answer is yes. In 1991 Amato and Keith examined the results of 92 studies involving 13,000 children ranging from pre-school to young adulthood to determine if there where measurable differences in these children. Their findings show that children of divorced families have differences relating to their stability in society."[13]



Mavis Hetherington found that with behavioral problems, 90% of adolescent boys and girls of intact families were within the normal range of problems and 10% had serious problems that would require some type of help. The percentages of divorced families were 74% of the boys and 66% of the girls in the normal range and 26% of the boys and 34% of the girls were in the range for needing help.[14]



The Impact of Divorce on Parents



The parental process suffers greatly due to divorce. Usually one of the parents will lose the opportunity to grow in their opportunity to parent children. The fact that one parent will be limited in time spent with their children hinders the learning curve of parenting. These parents do not have the opportunity to exercise parenting skills in step-parent situations due to external forces placed upon them by the non-custodial parent of the step-children. Usually one parent will sacrifice this portion of parenting. This is difficult for both parents even in the best of circumstances. Facing the loss of the parental role, as one has known it, creates tremendous amounts of turmoil. The non-custodial parent may feel that the custodial parent has won. This leads to hateful and nasty custody battles, conflicts about visitation and support, and property settlement.



Parents experience a change of environments. The parental process suffers because of change of environment. Many times parents find themselves moving to a different house in a different part of town. The loss of familiar surroundings shakes their sense of safety and security. Usually this scenario is increased due the need of each parent to survive in their new life. Their friends become his or her friends, relationships need to be redefined, and new relationships formed. These circumstances can leave a person deeply hurt, both emotional and psychologically. Many times the emotional and psychological wounds play out in property distribution. The fight is not over who gets the dishes. The underlying problem is dealing with the breakup of a family system.



The parental process suffers because of the feelings of failure toward keeping their covenant with each other and God. Many parents try to deny this truth, but it plays a major role in the parental skills. Parents have a hard time mentoring their children with a cloud of failure hanging over their heads. Overcoming this loss of expectation, and acknowledging that the marriage has failed affects not only the current episodes of their life but future ones also. It involves taking oneself out of the marriage psychologically. This can become the arena for continued expressions of unresolved feelings and negative reactions to other losses that come in the life cycle.



I believe Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Gary Sibcy addresses these possible circumstances in their discussions on attachment behaviors.



"Relationships define the quality of our lives. If we have safe, secure marriages, we're generally happy and fulfilled; if our marriages are tortured seas of strife and mistrust, we?re generally sad, confused, in pain. If our relationships with our children are sensitive, open, and loving, woven together with strong, resilient filaments, they can weather the storms of teen rebellion and those awkward years that follow. But if our relationships with our children are forced and dissonant, each side mistrusting the other, rebellion can become open warfare, and the years that follow can deteriorate into permanent estrangement."[15]



This will diminish the parent's ability to raise their children in a safe environment. Divorce does seem to diminish parenting practices following divorce.



Career changes impact parenting. Usually one or both parents find themselves being hurled back into the work place. The ability to earn a substantial income affects the parental role in families of divorce. Careers are influenced by divorce through legal statutes, financial and economic status, child-care considerations, medical problems, age, gender-related issues and many other factors. Only a few cases arise where the supported parent does not have to work to meet the demands of raising children. This takes away from time with the children and thus creates many changes within the family of divorce. The older the parents the more handicapped they become in the workplace. The challenge of being away from the workplace due to family life limits their recent work experience, limits the entry-level positions into the workplace due to their age, and increases their need to continue their education because of their lack of computer proficiency. Research shows, for example, that women with multiple roles, such as mother and wage earner have increased self-doubt, anxiety, guilt, and depression.[16]



Maggie Gallagher and Linda Waite found in their research that many women face this burden in the parental role.



"?The current, shocking poor financial situation facing women and children after divorce effectively pushes many wives away from investments in their families and toward investments in their own earning power- as a kind of insurance against divorce." [17]



The Impact of Divorce on the Extended Family and Family Caregivers



Divorce is far reaching and impacts every section of families. The grandparents, stepparents and family caregivers are no exception to this fact. Many times these people are refused access to the children they have loving attachments with. They are made to feel as intruders in the life of these children. Great conflict can occur when these loved ones attempt to see each other. The issue of visitation is a large issue in the participants of divorce, and it excludes no one.



Visitation by grandparents has become a popular issue over recent years with the increase of divorce in America. The legal system has responded to this issue. All 50 states currently have some type of visitation laws for grandparents. Stepparents and caregivers can partition the courts for visitation with loved ones. There are limitations, however, on who and when they may visit. The challenge is that no law or legal system can legislate peaceful solutions to wounded hearts of loved ones who desire to spend time with each other but are hinder by others. This hostility can cause great harm to a child who longs for a relationship with those they are accustomed to seeing.



In 2000, the Supreme Court of the United States handed down a decision in the case of Troxel vs. Granville that opened the door for non-parental persons to petition the courts for visitation rights. The court agreed that parents have a fundamental right to make decisions about raising their children, but the court did not agree that the permissive visitation stature of Washington State was unconstitutional. Many states do not see the visitation of non-parental members of the family as a severe restriction on the right of parents to control the rearing of the children.



The results on the children in these situations are far reaching. I find in my ministry to family members of divorce where visitation is denied to the grandparents or other caregivers to cause marked behavioral symptoms in the children. Children may display:





Anger

Refusal to follow simple rules, such as cleaning their rooms

Decline in school performance

Withdrawal from other significant others

Distrust of other adults

Lack of respect for people in authority

Lack of respect for rules

Lying

Secretive habits, such as writing letters, phone calls, etc.

Inability to form healthy attachments

Inability to express their feelings in the presence of the custodial parent

Bashing of their custodial parent in presence of grandparents or caregivers

Inappropriate views of reality that form as a result of pressure from grandparents or others to know the home situation of these children


Divorce is final. It goes against the nature of children to accept this truth. As we have learned, children try everything to reunite the parents. Grandparents and others can harm the stability of children of divorce by promoting a sense of false hope in these children?s mind. Instead, children of divorce need support that is honest and stable. They need to realize that others can be trusted, and that promises can be kept. Grandparents have the opportunity to build trust for others into these children by allowing them to observe what a safe and secure relationship provides for them. Grandparents, sometimes, are the only link to a child's understanding of God's plan for healthy relationships. This link to love is vital in the life of a child and their early attachment formulation. Dr. Tim Clinton and Gary Sibcy speak strongly to this necessity of a nurturing childhood.



"The Genesis account reminds us of the power of His love and of love itself, as well as the fact that He's given us other intimate relationships like those with our spouses, our children, our parents (grandparents) ' those who are supposed to be there for us through thick and thin ' to help fill our hearts and our longings."[18]



The only hope for the family of divorce is to break the vicious cycle of divorce being started in our generation.



"Scripture makes it clear, and psychological research confirms that people are not islands unto themselves. The effects of sin pass from generation to generation, and attachment theory helps describe how this process unfolds." [19]



Deuteronomy 5:9, "For I, the Lord your God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me." (NKJV) The testimony of lasting relationships helps children of divorce to experience the goodness of marriage.



A Closing Statement on the Impact of Divorce on the Family



The impact of divorce on the family is obvious. The statistics and data describing the effect it has on the institution of marriage and individual lives are well documented. The Federal Reserve Board's 1995 Survey of Consumer Finance reports that 42 percent of children aged 14 to 18 live in a first marriage - an intact two-parent family. The percentage has not made a major improvement in these later years. The very thing the Bible claims is taking place in our society. The Scriptures declare in the Seventh Commandment, "You shall not commit adultery." (Deuteronomy 5:17) The Bible says in the Tenth Commandment, "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife; and you shall not desire your neighbor's house, his field, his male servant, his female servant, his ox, his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's." (Deuteronomy 5:21) When people turn from these principles of God, our families soon fall prey to failure and, thus, the moral decay of society. The Bible clearly describes the ultimate outcome of the downfall of the family system. Romans 1: 28 -32 states, "And even as they did not retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do the things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteousness of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them." The strong willed actions of instigators of divorce have a dreadful future in the presence of God, according to those verses. They practice their crimes against the partners of the family with only their interests in mind. You may rest assured that God has marked these individuals, and they shall reap what they have sowed. Galatians 6:7-10 proclaims, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to the flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in doing season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith."



The partner of the family who was willing to accept their responsibility in the decline of their marriage, and who wanted to keep the family intact can find favor in God's eyes. God is merciful and forgiving to all who will confess and repent of their sin. I John 1:9 promises, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." King David expresses the cry of the abandoned partner of marriage, "Deliver me from the guilt of the bloodshed, O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of your righteousness." (Psalm 51:14) For the hurting of divorce, there is life after divorce.



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Meta-analysis". Psychological Bullentin, 110, 26-46.



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Angeles Times.



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Prepared by Geography Division in cooperation with the Housing Division,



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You Do, (Brentwood, TN: InterVarsity Publishers, 2002), 4,12, 22, 106.



Clinton, Tim, Before A Bad Goodbye, How To Turn Your Marriage Around, (Nashville: Word Publisher, 1999), 34, 41.



Craig, Grace J., Human Development, 4th ed., (New Jersey: Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1989),



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Gallagher, Maggie and Waite, Linda J., The Case For Marriage (New York:



Broadman Press, 2000), 196.



Gottman, John, Why Marriage Succeed of Fail, (New York: Fireside Books, 1994),



64, 67.



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