Give me a COOL joke and I'll choose the best answer!!
2006-08-27 17:36:38 · 6 answers · asked by Jargon 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/
Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..
2006-09-02 03:39:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Jesus,Moses,and this really old man where playing golf one day.
Jesus teed off first. His ball headed for the water and landed and stayed on top. Jesus walked out on top of the pond and putted the ball onto the green.
Moses teed next. His ball all so headed for the water and landed in the water and sank. Moses parted the water and walked out and putted his ball onto the green.
Well the really old man teed off then. His ball also headed for the water, but just as it was close enough a bass jumped up out of the water and grabbed the ball in his mouth,but before the fish came down into the water a eagle came swooping down and grabbed the bass and was flying away with the bass,but as the eagle got right over the green a streak of lightening came bolting out the sky and startled the eagle who let go of the bass. The bass landed on the green and the ball popped out of the bass's mouth and rolled right into the cup for a hole in one.
Jesus turned to the really old man and said " Dad if you don't quit horsing around we won't let you play with us anymore."
2006-08-28 01:51:48 · answer #2 · answered by Papa WILL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you call a three hundred and fifty five pound lady with a yeast infection?
answer: A Whopper With Cheese
2006-08-28 00:39:05 · answer #3 · answered by Beano4aReason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q. How can you tell when a blonde has been having a bad day?
A. Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
2006-09-04 02:17:03 · answer #4 · answered by nsphatgurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask me if I'm a buffalo...
'Are u a buffalo??"
um, no.
2006-08-28 00:38:50 · answer #5 · answered by adrift feline 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a bit longggg!
1.
Q: How many federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Sorry, that item was cut from the budget!
2.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!
3.
Q: How many flies does it take to scew in a light bulb?
A:Two, but how the heck do they get in there?
4.
Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
5.
Q: How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
6.
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in, and the other to say "Fabulous!"
7.
Q: How many Generals/Politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,000,001: One to change the bulb, and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
8.
Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a VW bug?
A: None, the elephants are in there!
9.
Q: How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
10.
Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
11.
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
12.
Q: How many Harvard students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds the light bulb and the universe revolves around him.
13.
Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A ------" consists of
14.
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. ("That's all right... I'll just sit here in the dark...")
15.
Q: How many Jewish-American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to get a Tab, and one to call Daddy.
16.
Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
17.
Q: How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Who says it's dark?
18.
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
19.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
20.
Q: How many legs does an elephant have?
A: Four, two in the front, two in the back.
21.
Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
22.
Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number to dial one of their subordinates to actually change it.
23.
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
24.
Q: How many med students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him.
25.
Q: How many members of the Impossible Missions Force does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five: While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress, I use a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and remove his body. Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the dictator long enough for Barney to sneak up to the next floor, drill a hole down into the light fixture, remove the burned-out bulb, and replace it with a new super-high wattage model of his own design. Meanwhile, Willie has driven up to the door in a laundry truck. Just before Rollin's real identity is revealed, we escape to the laundry truck, drive to the airfield, and return to the United States.
26.
Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows. It's never happened.
27.
Q: How many men does it take to shingle a roof?
A:It depends on how thin you slice them.
28.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One..Men will screw anything
29.
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. (Hint: they are small enough to fit inside)
30.
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
31.
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None of your damn business! A2: 50. 50? Yeah, 50! It's in the contract.
32.
Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty-one: One to install the new bulb, and fifty to figure what to do with the old one for the next
33.
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.
34.
Q: How many people does it take to throw away a one Watt bulb?
A: Five: A Black, a Jew, two women, and a cripple...
35.
Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to change the bulb, one to witness, and the third to shoot the witness.
36.
Q: How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!
37.
Q: How many polaks does it take to kidnap a child?
A: One to kidnap the child and the remaining 11 to write a ransom
38.
Q: How many Polaks does it take to change a light
A: 100001. One to hold the bulb and the other 100000 to spin the house.
39.
Q: How many Polaks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb and the other two to spin the chair.
40.
Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
41.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a hardware problem.
42.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
43.
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
44.
Q: How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: You don't have to change it-----they all glow in the dark.
45.
Q: How many shovenists does it take to open a bear can?
A:None because the ***** better have it open when she hands it to you!
46.
Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
47.
Q: How many strong does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 115: One to hold the bulb and 114 to rotate the house.
48.
Q: How many supply-side economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
49.
Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
50.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fish
2006-09-02 02:34:53 · answer #6 · answered by LiTlE mIsSy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋